Help! How do I get someone to help me?

Social Services are a good contact and if you ask they will arrange for someone to copout and assess his safety needs and maybe supply them.

My daughter had such an assessment and a care plan based on how much help she needed to carryon daily life. She has care provided by Social Services and they come in 3 times a day with 3 extra hours a week to help her with paperwork, Drs etc.

The bungalow has been made safe with grab rails everywhere to help her move around the place. She also wears a lifeline to call for help in an emergency or if she thinks she needs help.

The carers will wash her in the bathroom if she doesn't want a shower by her siting on a chair as mentioned. She washes and drys all the bits she can reach.
The carers come in 7 days a week all year long and she is happy which is the most important.
Goodluck with it all and I am sure if you just ask for help from everyone, Dr, Social Services, Age Concern etc you will find your way.

Thank you MissAdventure. It means a lot.

I believe u can get help depending on finances for a wet room to help with showering contact social services

Daddima
Hope all is ok (ish) with you.

Just ordered Nilaqua from Amazon. £15 odd for both shampoo and bodywash.

We had the district nurse at the Bodach today ( one day after GP’s visit) and she advised washing at the sink while sitting down, for fear he falls, which we were doing anyway. Carers expected tomorrow or Monday, but she did say that the local authority carers are very busy, so lots of private companies are used. In Scotland personal care is free.
I’ll definitely look at the Nilaqua mentioned above. Thanks.

Yes agree let them sit and do as much as they can their private parts. Do top first then lower half get baby wipes they smell nice. Later on I may need to get help getting into shower or if bath the man I looked after had a seat worked by remote control that lowers the person into bath it worked well he was 96. Walk in showers no step up also good as the person then gets wheeled in and sits in shower chair while being washed by carer or family

How are things with your dear dad now?x

We have a bath lift for DH who can no longer get or out of the bath. I bought it the day after he almost got stuck and I could see the way things were going. He prefers bathing to showering, and I do need to be on hand to supervise the getting in and out and operating the stately mechanism which lowers him slowly into lovely warm bubbles. Highly recommend it.

If your Dad is that old, how mobile is he? Can he get out
The bath safely.
There are a lot of adverts for walk in baths but even they can cause slips and
falls.
A lot of older people have to be pulled out of their baths naked by the paramedics. Having been stuck in their bath for hours .
This is a real problem, baths are slippery.
Do not to rush to buy any of these without testing.

Hi Nainfron. I hope you dad is recovering well. From what I understand, everything differs from county to county and council to council but I think the first place you need to go is your GP to find out exactly what you can apply for in the way of help for your lovely dad.

I know when my lifelong was diagnosed with a terminal illness and was no longer able to care for herself...we got carers in BUT she had to pay for them herself. This is because she wanted to be at home and not in hospital. Fortunately she did have the funds to pay for her care at home.

When my mum was nearing the end...she was discharged from hospital and they organised a sort of care package...but this was not personal care..more home help type of thing! This didn't suit my mum at all. I eventually called her GP who did organise McMillan nurses to come out but...again it was more pain relief than personal care.

From my experience, you WILL have to pay for personal care UNLESS your father is in a hospital or care home? So sorry to say this as am sure you won't want to go this route and it does seem so unfair.

Hopefully your dad will recover well enough to stay at home. After all, as others have said, personal care can be done in various ways. My love to you all

Enjoyed your story about your grandfather OPgrndtr, he was a lucky man to have such a loving family tending to him

I'm from a farm family and all of us kids bathed in a big laundry tub in the yard. When I was having to help my grandfather bathe I reminded him of the old ways that were so much fun. We got him to the porch sitting in a chair in the wash tub. He wore boxers. We would bring out buckets of warm water and pour water here and there. Washed him up and down with big sponges. He got the biggest laugh when we had him put the soapy sponge down his pants. I think he enjoyed it all as much as we did. He went to bed clean his last night. We guessed that he was ready to go.

Everybody - thank you so much for your good advice.

Charleygirl5 gives the solution with a chair at the washbasin, something I used to do for an elderly neighbour a few years ago. It worked well, with a shave at the same time.

If you can afford to pay , a local agency providing carers should be answering the phone today. Contact your GP on Tuesday and ask for your father to be referred to the local falls clinic. My mother attended one after a fall and this helped us access both equipment and assistance for my 96 year old mother. After a fall you should be entitled to 4/6 weeks of free carers.

Social Services have an emergency number that you can call. It should be on your Council Website.

In an emergency wet wipes can be a solution. I hope you get some proper help soon though.

It is much easier to place a kitchen chair in the bathroom in front of the wash hand basin, help him get undressed and allow him to do everything for himself in his own time. You will only be required to wash parts he cannot reach.

Please be careful he does not slip because it is so easy to do so with only a few drops of water on the floor.

Thank you M0nica... I shall do that.

Getting carers is a long process which can be addressed by a trip to his GP as a first step. At his advanced age, this is something which was probably going to be needed anyway, so it's a good idea to get the process started.

In the meantime, you're not going to get much help for the next few days. I'd suggest that you get that walking frame for him , and do the bathing yourself.

The best way to do it is this - get him to sit down and take off his top clothes , and loosen his pants. Then he stands up , leaning on his walking frame , and drops his pants which you then remove. Wrap a towel around him . He then walks into the bathroom ( or the kitchen sink if he can't get to the bathroom) and stands near the sink, and you give him a "bird bath" with him helping if he can. Then wrap him in a towel again. He then walks to a chair and sits down. You help him to put a clean shirt on. And put underpants / trousers up to his knees. He stands up and you pull his pants up and fix his belt and adjust everything.

Good luck !

Strip wash - my OH has not had bath/shower for months. Try Nilaqua - you can get it on line. It is a foaming body wash that you just wipe off with a towel.

He should not have been sent home - even from A&E - without a walking frame.

Most care agencies have a weekend and out-of-hours phone number - try googling it.

I am not sure what you can do today but on Tuesday ring Social Services and ask for an assessment. Also ring Age UK they will be abe to tell you in detail what help is available and how to get emergency home care.

Your local Red Cross will have all kinds of equipment they can lend you from walking frames, to a frame for the toilet and 'elelphant feet' to go under his arm chair feet or his bed to raise the height and make them easier to get in or out of.

In the meantime, do what others have suggested and get your father's injury seen by a doctor. You probably need to take him to A&E. If he cannot get downstairs because of his injury then call for an ambulance. Make sure you emphasise his age to get them to respond as soon as possible.

When I had an emergency on a Sunday I rang 111 and they arranged for a District Nurse to attend within half an hour.

Yes - I took him to A&E last night. Nothing broken, but knee too painful to walk on. Can just hobble around flat. Will get him zimmer frame today to help. Can cook meals etc but how to get him bathed is my main concern .