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Care & carers

Carer support groups?

(10 Posts)
Charly Sun 23-Feb-20 11:20:21

Hello friends, I wonder if any of you have any ideas about how my next door neighbour can find some extra emotional support for her difficult but alas common situation of caring for husband who is in severely declining health, mainly physical. He needs a lot of care but though she is sociable and does get out of the house now and then, if only to get weekly shop, she feels terribly isolated. Of course I let her know my hub and I are around, and offer to help whenever we can, but what makes it particularly difficult is that he gets very sensitive about her telling anyone about his/their troubles. Any ideas would be appreciated.

tanith Sun 23-Feb-20 11:38:50

It’s such a shame when people struggle when they may get help, has she asked for support from her GP?

silverlining48 Sun 23-Feb-20 11:49:04

Most areas have carers groups which meet and provide support and advice to anyone caring. Day centres may not be appropriate but there is an organisation which comes to sit with adults and children allowing the carer a few hours to go out or stay in whatever suits. The name is at the tip of my tongue but just can’t remember! Maybe someone else may know what I mean.

Also every carer is entitled to have an assessment of their needs by social services which can lead to help.

It’s a pity her husband is reluctant to ask for help, there is no shame in being ill and if his wife cracks under the strain who will be there for him?

I hope she gets some help. It’s a lonely, difficult and sad road.

JuliaM Sun 23-Feb-20 12:58:46

It also.might be worth asking at your local libary regards any suitable groups your area, or contact your nearest social services office and speak to a care.worker who specialises in Adult care, they can be a wealth of information, as an organisations like AgeUk, both online and in the community. There are also quite a few confidential help lines that offer support for Carers including some that cover out of hours calls at evenings and weekends, and some that cover specific illnesses, such as MacMillan, who actually givesupport for.other terminal.illnesses, not just Cancer.

rosenoir Sun 23-Feb-20 13:18:16

I think she may get more benefit form doing something unrelated to caring.

There are carers support groups online if she wants to talk about her situation.

Getting out of the house and joining a group related to a hobby or interest would take her mind from her problems for a while.

kittylester Sun 23-Feb-20 15:13:24

RVS offer a befriending service to allow carers some time out.

Lots of villages and local communities offer various volunteer led help. Ours advertise in the library and parish office.

Charly Sun 23-Feb-20 16:43:51

Thank you very much indeed for your replies and understanding, ladies. I’ll follow up some of your suggestions and see if my neighbour is open to any of them. X🌺✨

Granny23 Sun 23-Feb-20 17:00:54

When I was a 24/7 Carer for DH, I was invited to many Carers' support groups. However I was unable to attend because none of them offered parallel care for the 'cared for' person. Later when DH was granted one 'day' (?10am to 3pm) a week at Day Care I was looking forward to joining a group but discovered that there were none on Wednesdays (his Day Care Day) and anyway I needed that free time to shop, attend lawyers, opticians, banking appointments, etc.

Charly Sun 23-Feb-20 19:46:33

Granny23 alas yes, very valid point! 😔

Dillyduck Sun 08-Mar-20 02:19:54

Encourage her to join the Carers UK forum for help and support. We help carers get the benefits and services they need, lots of ideas about making life easier, and dumping feelings of guilt.