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Social Services and Nurses

(29 Posts)
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welbeck Wed 01-Apr-20 20:23:06

what ought / ought not to be and what is are poles apart.
but practically, you cannot do anything about that, even at the best of times, in my experience, and these are certainly not the best of times.
forget about them.
what is best for your mother at this time.
she obviously needs help with personal care.
could you move in, or visit every day to do it.
or would/ could you /her pay for a careworker to come; may be difficult to find at the moment.
i can understand her wanting to stay at home.
but she needs care. so can you set it up so that she gets that care at home.
if she goes into a care home will you be allowed to visit.
i dont see how she can be forced into one.
does she lack mental capacity.

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sunny123 Wed 01-Apr-20 19:17:11

@rosenoir I agree the best place is a home. I'm just not impressed that nurses have been telling lies and social services people hinting at blackmail to force her into a home.

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rosenoir Wed 01-Apr-20 18:03:37

If your mother can not change her pad then I would think sepsis is a possibility as she may be developing pressure sores too, surely a home would be the best and safest way for her at this time.

Staying alive and healthy take priority over money at the moment.

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sunny123 Wed 01-Apr-20 17:30:27

I'm having ongoing problems with my Mum who is nearly 89. Recently she has been unable to get up from her chair and has been wearing an incontinence pad but unable to change it.

She does not want to go into a home but has been forced into it for "respite care". The nurses told her it would be free and for a week or two. Then a social services lady called me and the cost was revealed at about £500 per week plus it may be for up to 2 months. Mum objected to the cost and said she would rather go into hospital but the nurses / social services are dead set against this.

I spoke to the social services lady again and she suggested she told my Mum that I said she should go into a home but I objected as I thought she was tricking my Mum but saying something I hadn't actually said. She then told me that she was "concerned" that I was in the process of applying for LPA which to me hints at blackmail - push your Mum into a home or we will block the LPA.

I spoke to the nurse yet again and she said Mum could die tonight of Sepsis so we should get her into a home today but there was no need to go into hospital plus there is a risk of her catching Covid 19 in hospital.

The social services lady called me again later and said nothing would happen today as it is too late but hopefully tomorrow so I asked about the nurse telling me Mum could die tonight of sepsis? She called the nurse then called me back and said Mum has not got sepsis at the moment but it can happen very quickly.

I am trying to act in Mum's best interest and also respect her wishes at a difficult time. I am trying to base my decisions of what the "professionals" are telling us but I know the nurse has lied twice and the social services lady has implied she might object to the LPA if I don't do what SHE wants me to.

I'm not very happy about this whole situation. Should these professional people be acting in this way?

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