Mums confusion

My Mum said all kinds of silly things when she was 90. My brother had a friend who was a geriatric nurse who say it. It was it happened a couple of times after that.

katyj please try the UTI route first - a lovely elderly lady of my acquaintance became forgetful, nervy and demonstrated such confusion that her DiL wept and told me she would rather she died than suffer the coming indignity; she turned out to have a UTI and with a few days of treatment she was her old self. We truly could not believe it. I don't know why the elderly have such a reaction, but I have heard since of several similar cases. I hope she recovers soon. x

Urine testing is the first priority. Your mother should also get her ears checked as the balance problem may be explained by ear trouble. I think isolation, in itself, may exaggerate any memory trouble she has.

Power of Attorney can be done on line without resorting to a solicitor. They are, apparently, fairly easy to do and you can contact the Office of The Public Guardian for help and advice. There are two POAs - Health and Well Being and the Financial one and they are, I think, about £80 each but considerably more if done by a solicitor.

It is well worthwhile doing while your mum still has capacity.

I think isolation may be contributing to her symptoms but she needs to be seen by a GP and have another memory test. Don't let the GP surgery fob you off. She may be a danger to herself if her memory is going...she could leave cooking on and it burns etc.

Esmerelda. Your so right everyone has been so kind and helpful. I hope your friend receives the help she needs, it’s so distressing seeing someone you care for so unhappy their brought to tears. Lockdown isn’t helping one little bit.

I think lockdown has made things worse. 8 months ago my husband was diagnosed with Cognitive Decline, and it has definitely worsened these past three months, as has my mother’s Dementia.Difficult times Katyj,

Rilla. I don’t have POA we have a joint bank account so that’s not a problem but I understand I do need to have a conversation about this, the trouble is as I understand it it needs to be done by a solicitor and she wouldn’t want to pay I would need to pay. How expensive is it ?

Esmerelda well said about GN at its best. I love this site when it’s working as it should, like now with this post.Other times I’m amazed how it can turn and think it’s sad how some people can be. Hope you find the support you need Kate for your family.

My father had sudden confusion and hallucinations, we thought UTI. He couldn’t remember how to turn the tv on or how to adjust the sound. Urine test came back fine. He was having chemo (tablets) at the time following bowel cancer surgery and it was only 6 months later when he had a scan to check on his cancer and they decided to scan his head to look for a reason for the confusion that they found he’d had a stroke. There had been no paralysis at all. This was over 5 years ago he has improved but certainly not back to what he was. They said the chemo increases your risk of strokes, so we’ll never know if that was the cause. He has had the 5 year discharge from cancer though. If you mum has a scan that will pick up a stroke. Good luck

This is happening with a dear friend of mine. She had an appointment at a memory clinic in April, but of course that went down the pan. She now never rings me as she used to do but I call her regularly and she does repeat herself many times during the conversation. She has also said that she's not right, so bells are ringing there. The last time we met before the lockdown her daughter dropped her over to me for lunch and she arrived in tears (she couldn't say why, just that she felt so confused). An afternoon spent with good food and conversation seemed to put her back on an even keel, but now on the phone she keeps asking me to go to hers even though I explain time and again that I can't do that because of the lockdown. This thread has prompted me to get in touch with her daughter, so thanks.

BTW this thread is GN at its best ... helping others without criticism, and no horrible judgemental posts. I was thinking of quitting because there do seem to be a lot of nasty comments and replies to some people but I absolutely love it when GN provides just this kind of help.

I'm not an expert but I was a carer for nearly 7 years for my Mum who had alzheimer's and in her case the disease seemed to come on quite gradually. As others have said, it sounds more like a UTI. My mother-in-law was seeing a dog in her flat when she had a bad UTI and she didn't have alzheimer's!

Just a thought, do you have power of attorney? It needs to be completed on paper and witnessed before she is assessed as lacking capacity, otherwise it would have to go to the court of protection. We had this issue with mum and it meant she couldn't sign to move into safer accommodation, and neither could I sign for her. It was a nightmare when she was so at risk.

If she is becoming ‘at risk’ then her change in behaviour could be considered an emergency.....

Flakes this resonates so much. The police have been called twice over the last 3 weeks two different things won’t say what in case of being recognised.
I think it’s me that needs to get my head around it first !

My Mum had Vascular Dementia and it started with 'odd' changes. She would accuse her neighbour of coming in and taking her food, the Gardener was stealing her things from the garage and many many other strange things that I used to make allowances for . I reported the garden theft to the Police and an officer suggested it may be her brain declining. Talking Point through the Alzheimer's Society was invaluable. After diagnosis it was very sad to watch her decline. She did however have very bad episodes which were the result of UTI's. I would definitely get some testing done, speak to GP - they do have a duty of care and get some input from social care - this will take a while. I do wish you well and don't give up

My partner's mother, same age had a UTI at the beginning of the year. She went totally bonkers! His brother who is her carer, struggled with her, she stayed in bed, refused to wash, eat, talked rubbish. We spoke on the phone & she definitely wasn't on this planet! Thankfully after a couple of months & medication she's fine & has no recollection of this event. A simple pee infection caused all this!

A urine test is easy to leave at GPs. At our surgery you fill in the label yourself and leave on counter. Ask for whatever help you can get now, if nothing else, if you have to battle for support such as carers or getting a diagnosis (and it is a long recurring battle to get appropriate and increasing help if it is dementia), at least you can say 'yes, we've already done/tried that' so you can try to move things along as quickly as possible. In the meantime, I'd try to remove your Mum's sources of worry whenever possible with her agreement - try a picture phone for her main contacts or get a phone where frequent numbers are stored as a pushbutton '1', '2' or '3'. If she has difficulty working out the time get her a day clock as they are really clear to see as well. Medication can cause low blood pressure and cause falls so it would be worth asking doc to check for that too. Monitor her food stocks quietly to see if she is eating properly and ask about programmes she watches to find out if she is still watching TV. Is she still reading or listening to the radio? Changes in behaviour like this can be good indicator of problems. If you have a local carers centre, they give excellent advice if you have any questions about support available and will help you to step back and look after yourself too. Don't underestimate the lack of mental stimulation during lockdown - try to encourage Mum to phone friends or write letters or get into the garden, if she has one, for a chat with neighbours - as loneliness can trigger rapid deterioration in physical and mental health. Very best wishes.

For anyone with early signs of dementia the lockdown has not been good. None socialising is one of the worst thing for elderly people's Mental Health it affects us more than smoking 40 cigarettes a day or drinking more than the recommended amount of alcohol. Your mother needs to get referred to the Memory clinic where they will do a full assessment. The doctors so very often do not have a clue about dementia. Alzheimers Society is excellent as is your Carers link and Carers UK. Have you got a Dementia Alliance Group in your area? Memory Cafe? or Carers Group? all excellent support. This should not be ignored as early support can help with the decline. Good luck

I suggest you call the Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline.
They are specialist Dementia nurses who offer information, support and advice. They are open seven days a week but very busy. If you don’t get through you can leave a message and they will call you back usually within a couple of hours.
tel: 0800 888 6678 or email [email protected]

Thank you again. Mum fell last year and broke her hip and spent 3 month in hospital and rehabilitation we don’t know what caused the fall, but she has a fluctuating bp problem so could have been that.
It was the rehabilitation unit that recommended having the brain scan as they had seen changes in her. The dr said their were lesions on her brain scan but that could be just old age. I’ll get in touch with the organisations mentioned and then see what the Dr says.

Katy as Kitty has said it’s a stepped process, they have a blip then it stays like that for a while, then another one which adds onto the first blip, it takes a while to get the Dr. To get the tests organised, then with the odd UTI as well thrown in, we didn’t know what was going on.
all in all it took around 2 years from the first fall, which we think might have been caused by a TIA, several falls later and lots of hospital appointments and scans she was diagnosed. TBH by then it didn’t matter what the diagnosis was as she was very difficult, wouldn’t let anyone help her and was using the whole house as a toilet.
However a friends DH was diagnosed with the same thing around 3 years ago and hasn’t had another ‘attack’ since and although is a bit forgetful and even more OCD than he was before , he hasn’t deteriorated at all.

Vascular dementia has a sort of stepped progress. People stay on the same level for a period and then have a big drop.

Alzheimers has a much more gradual decline.

If you are getting a call from the gp, I would ask for a urine test what ever the diagnosis.

As others have said, after the phone and assuming it confirms your fears, do ring the Alzheimer's Society. They have lots of resources on line, fact sheets etc but if you ring up you will be able to talk to a trained Dementia Support Worker and arrange to keep in contact.

In Leicestershire there are Carer's courses being run on Zoom. I imagine other areas are doing the same.

Again, as others have said, Talking Point, on the Alzheimer's website, is an active forum with, mostly, Carer's interacting. I know lots of people on gn recommend it.

Funny enough I’ve just had a call from mums drs surgery to say I’ll be receiving a call in the next couple of days from the Dr regarding mums memory problems. I’ll ask see if she can have an assessment, also I think she could do with social services visiting, do I ask the Dr about that ? I’m still working part time and look after Dgd so can’t visit everyday even though she keeps telling me I should !
Just been reading about vascular dementia. Sounds very likely as she has balance problems too.