Mums confusion

Thanks Elly. Yesterday I was overwhelmed .I’ve dusted myself down and stared again today. It seems never ending sometimes my dad was ill from when I was 27 with two small children. Until he passed away aged 80. I’ve been a Carer for 35 years now.
Always on call day and night. Hopefully if i get some care in place for mum it’ll give me some peace of mind to be able to go on holiday with my lovely long suffering husband. Fingers crossed .

KatyJ, coping with a loved one in these circumstances is overwhelming at times.
I'm 12yrs along the dementia line with my mother who is now in a nursing home and does not recognise me any longer.
Hopefully your mum will have a uti and be better after antibiotics.
If it does end up being dementia, as others have said, Talking Point on the Alzheimers website is absolutely marvelous, carers support and help each other with advice and shared experience. I'm sure it saved my sanity more than once.
POA is a must if possible,it gives you control.
Be kind to yourself, I'm sure you are the daughter she needs.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

It is not true that nothing can be done due to lockdown your Mum needs to be checked for infection and needs a mental health assessment Ring the Dr back and INSIST that a district nurse is sent out to check urine and take bloods for checking (District nurses are still working ) also demand a referall to the elderly mental health team a Community Psychiatric Nurse(they are still working too )can come out and do an assessment Sounds like your mother has dementia the sooner that which type is diagnosed and if possible treated the better DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER Good luck

Could your mother be dehydrated? A lot of elderly people do not drink the amount of fluids they should in the course of the day, especially if mobility issues make going to the toilet difficult.

The confusion you are describing could well be caused by dehydration, although it could be due to a lot of other things too.

Have you any possibility at all of monitering her intake of fluids, preferably water, mineral water or fruit juice, as tea and coffee can make dehydration worse?

If your mum had a brain scan and even if there was no follow up appointment, the hospital would have written to her GP confirming their findings. You are entitled to receive a copy of the report. Ask her surgery to forward a copy.

My mum in law frequently gets urine infections and it makes her go, well, gaga. She's back to normal once antibiotics have kicked in. She was hospitalised last year and early this year and nobody could figure out what was wrong - until her urine was tested. Now the minute mum in law starts to go 'strange' my sister in law gets a urine sample to the doc and antibiotics are issued if it is an infection. At this rate she might have to have prophylactic antibiotics because of the frequency she gets the infections - basically due to proper wiping habits due to being obese.... :-(

So, as a few others have said on this thread, - try to get a urine sample to the doctor to get it tested for a UTI - as a first line of investigation. Best of luck!

Dementia usually comes on quite slowly with various recognised stages
I would ask for her water to be tested ASAP this can really ape dementia This would seem mire likely to me I ve not heard of people going from 1 to 6 in a few months With dementia each stage of Alzheimer’s or dementia can be years
My Mum and Nan had it and I think if I remember rightly there are about 7 or 8 stages which really ape childhood in reverse and each stage can last a few years

check for UTI as others have said. My own mum used to get them and she had similar behaviours. I do hope this is the case because it is treatable. My own mum suffered from dementia and I wouldnt wish it on anyone, carer or sufferer.

it could be a UTI. Ask her doctor if you can take a urine sample in to surgery to be tested. A UTI in the elderly can cause the symptoms you are describing. Of course it could also be the situation at the moment. My mum is 87 and when i speak to her on the phone i can tell she's not herself. Good luck, i hope you get her some help

Thank you Dontmind that’ll be my next job. I have a joint account with her and already do all her bills appointments etc as like your mum she is very hard of hearing too, phone conversations are impossible she’s recently had her hearing aids checked, and her ears syringed, plus a new phone but still no better.
Mum gets some benefits so she might not have to pay. Reassuring to know it’s not too difficult, it’s a good job as there so much to do.

I have recently completed the POA forms online for my Mum, myself and my husband.

Its a bit complicated but the guidance notes are very helpful at each stage and easy to follow. You don't have to do it all at once you can just save it and go back to it whenever you're ready. My Mum's were free as she is on DLA, mine and OH's were £82 each - a fraction of what a solicitor would charge.

You have to do it step by step as you need to get separate sections signed and witnessed by other attorneys (if appropriate) and certified by an independant person (her GP can do this but they will charge for it - mine wanted £75 for each POA).

Its been invaluable already as my Mum is hard of hearing so I can deal with utility suppliers, phone & internet providers etc on her behalf.

She should be tested for a urinary infection AND Depression. Depression sometimes creates confusion. But your best bet is taking her to a neurologist.

Could she be suffering from dehydration? That can cause confusion

Don't let changes in brain be put down simply to old age. My sister was told this when she first started having memory issues but was recently diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimers after I insisted she had dementia. She is only 65 years old. Your mum needs full blood works. If you can persuade her to tap her feet alternately on the floor 20 times before she gets up, it will help push her BP up. I know it will be a tall order for someone with memory issues. My 89 year old mum does it out of habit now before standing, calling it " Doing my numbers".

My mum was similar with UTI too...

Both the Power of Attorney documents are easy to do yourself if you do it carefully. They can be done without cost if your Mum is on certain means tested benefits.

My Mum was too far down the Alzheimer’s path when Dad and I asked about setting them up for her and all the financial decisions were a nightmare. Banks etc will not let anyone have access to accounts without proof it is in place. Even energy suppliers need proof.

Dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and we set up both when he was diagnosed. He now lives in a care facility and I manage everything for him. It’s made things so much easier. It’s a difficult conversation to have with your loved one but please go ahead and have it.

What a shame. A UTI can bring on strange ideas but when brought under control there should be an improvement. Sadly My late MIL got these quite a bit as she refused to drink enough - getting up from her chair was a bit of a faff so she wanted to avoid it. It seemed perfectly logical to her - don't drink so you won't need the loo and you don't need to get up. A vicious circle.

Apparently not being able to do the things you used to be able to do can be a sign of dementia. MIL forgot how to use the washing machine so DIL went round each week to press the right button.

Strange ideas became the norm. As she didn't want to admit she couldn't remember or didn't know something she'd make up a story. She was a very proud lady who needed help but didn't want help so it needed diplomacy.
Best wishes to you OP, it can be a long haul.

If it does turn out to be dementia, then ditto to getting a Power of Attorney put in place ASAP, for both finances and health and welfare. Can save an enormous amount of hassle and expense later.

Might add that someone who is normally perfectly reasonable can become exceedingly suspicious as dementia takes hold - in the case of a P of A, thinking that you only want to do it so that you can get your nasty grasping hands on their money.

My mother was one such. Even though she had very sensibly set up the (old-style) P of A well before any signs of dementia, getting her to agree to activate it once she was no longer remotely capable of managing her money (a large sum had already vanished) was a major problem.

I forgot to add that my husband had Alzheimers for five years,and having the P/A made living through that dreadful time easier for me, with everything under my control so no problems about any decisions to be made.

Katy J : Please get a Power of Attorney set up as soon as possible, and preferably for each of you but I would strongly advise doing this through a Solicitor as there are two kinds. We set our's years before there was any thought of one of us needing care. We named each other as attorney plus our daughter as joint attorney in each case, to protect against the possibility of either of us becoming incapable of dealing with our affairs.

Perhaps most important, a P/A does deal with much more than finances, in particular decisions about medical issues, including care. Please make an appointment with your solicitor asap.

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's after a memory test at GPs and further tests at memory clinic.We were advised to claim attendance allowance and council tax rebate.He had a blocked artery and after seven weeks in hospital came home and died two days later.His Alzheimer's had deteriorated quite quickly. The attendance allowance was approved the day after he came home and was backdated to the date of diagnosis.It paid half of the funeral costs.
It may seem strange but I am so pleased he died before this pandemic started. He would have found it so so difficult with carers and the family would not have been able to visit.
I hope you get a diagnosis soon.The Alzheimer's society were very helpful and have lots of informative leaflets.Try to take as much advice as you need.

KatyJ - please get on the ball with the POA. It’s much better to do it sooner rather than later. The Court of Protection can’t make anything like the level of person-centred, sensitive and timely decision making that caring relatives who know the person needing care can.

I have had two elderly relatives who both showed signs of dementia but it was diagnosed as overuse of paracetamol. They were very confused and once we cut down the painkillers they returned to their usual selves, bright and alert and by regulating their use we didn’t have any further problems.

Said it was a UTI.