Feeling overwhelmed

I too have no experience but wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. The advice others have added sounds good. Hugs to you. X

Just sending best wishes and hope you find the support you need

Nanna58, all I can say is how sorry you have got to cope like this. I do hope you take any help that is offered - don’t feel too proud. Your husband and mother both need you, so you’ve got to look after yourself also.
My best wishes to you..

I didn't want to scroll on past. I have nothing of experience to offer, but just wanted to send my best wishes and sympathies for the situation you find yourself in.

Look after yourself.

Ask your doctor for a carers assessment. As you now have two to care for. I have been a carer for three family members in the past

We all just do what we can, when we can, one day at a time. What we are capable of varies daily and according to our personalities.

We aim for perfection - then beat ourselves up when we 'fail'. Often, our efforts are truly superhuman, yet still we don't pat ourselves on the back.

We accept that we're expected to be carer, wage earner, mother, chief cook and bottlewasher - all at once.

We exhaust ourselves then feel so terribly guilty about a sharp word to the invalid.

We know we need help but pride prevents us from even asking, so we battle on, beyond all reason - often to the point of making ourselves ill.

One day, we realise we simply can't continue, are forced to ask for assistance - and there it is, a solution, maybe temporary, but enough to give us a break, to evaluate, to admit our limits as human beings.

(My advice would be 'Look after yourself and ask for help sooner - rather than later')

Many , many thanks for your kind words. I do have family willing to help but who may not be able to due to the tier rules with this damn virus. I shall have to check for what may be allowed under welfare/ compassion exemptions. The worst thing really is how my husband feels so guilty and keeps saying he’s sorry for being the cause of hardship, even though we keep trying to tell him it isn’t so. A good man.

Oh another who can’t give more advice than has been given but having looked after a Nan with it then my mum I would just like to send you a big hug and say as others have said take whatever help you are able to find ..befrienders, volunteers who will sit with your man while you take a break anything and everything and pop on here when you can hopefully we can give you a few laughs or a break away from the hard work and a bit of support and a virtually hug or two
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That's really sad. My brother is awaiting a medical diagnosis for his wife, who shows all the signs of having dementia.

Get as much information and help as you can. AgeUK, Alzheimer's Society and Crossroads Care are good for support.

Best of luck x

Nanna58 I'm so sorry to hear your news. Both of my parents had dementia at different times and I know how tough it is on the one doing the caring.
Please come on here and you will get lots of support from all the lovely grans. Please look after yourself xx

I'm another who couldn't read and run. Keep yourself fit to fight is the only piece of advice I can think of. You may well have to fight - well anyway, push - to get the help you need and are entitled to. You don't say whether you have family nearby who can help, or contribute financially to extra paid help.
There are some knowledgeable people on these threads. I wish I was one of them.

Contact your local support group and take all the support and respite you can. You will do a better job if you can have some ‘me’ time. It’s not being selfish; it’s being sensible! ?

I didn't want to read and run, just to let you know you have my sympathy; I have dealt with both parents with Alzheimer's, but not at the same time. If it is any help, offload on here, many people have found it helpful.

I'm sorry to hear about this. I've not dealt with dementia but been a carer and caring for two people must be very difficult. My sympathies.

I’m so sorry to hear this, I would suggest you make contact with your local mental health nurse, your GP may have details, also adult social worker at your local authority. You will need to make sur you have as much help as possible, including time, the Admiral helpline may help too

So sorry to hear about this. I've not been in your exact situation, though I have experience of caring for family members with dementia. I suspect you already know about support in your area as you say your mother has Alzheimers and you care for her.
Here are a few websites we found useful..
www.alzheimers.org.uk

www.ageuk.org.uk/search/?q=Alzheimers+

www.nhs.uk/conditions/dementia/social-services-and-the-nhs/

Try to get as much support as you can and take care of yourself. ?

Hello Nanna58 Just wanting to say how sorry I am. Alzheimers is cruel as you already know, but its still a shock when its actually diagnosed. Give yourself a bit of time just to get your thoughts together, is there anyone you can ring to talk to? My best wishes

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that I read your post and I'm very sorry to hear that; life seems so unfair sometimes. You've been coping with your mother and now to find your husband has it too must be difficult to bear.
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I hope someone will post soon with more help.