Struggling with my mums carers

Hi Bel ,

I'm really sorry that you going through exactly what I went through earlier this year .

One thing that's come out of it -I've stopped allowing people to walk all over me and I've become more assertive .
I've met other carers like me , who've had the same negative experiences .

Don't hesitate to sack them .
I'd record their antics !
And if you aren't happy with the next lot - sack them too !

We originally had carers seven years ago .
They were British - most of them were nice a couple weren't.
We both enjoyed their company, but whilst I was shopping my father sacked them !
He decided that I could cope !

This year , he's deteriorated .
The hospital discharged him too early and arranged carers .
They turned up before he was home .

As his meds are so complicated and change frequently and he is a nightmare to feed with his endless food fads - I do it myself .

They were extremely rude and shouted at us .
They demolished the gate post .
One Sunday , they left him for eight hours - luckily I was at home all day .
He was increasingly terrified of them .
He was readmitted and I made a complaint about them .
It fell on deaf ears .
I had to insist .

Once discharged , we had another set of carers .
At first , they seemed better and then the rudeness started .

Fury would ensue if they had to change his lower sheet .

They left the front door open , taps on , a duvet to smoulder on a light ... my father unable to reach his drinks and food .
One of them tipped half a bottle of Dettol into his washing bowl and tried to wash his back with it . His skin was bleeding .

I found myself tidying up after them
The garden waste bin was full of his nappies .Things began to disappear .

Visits are supposed to be half an hour .
I think that five or ten minutes was the maximum .
The only time that They spent longer is the time that the social worker was here and they made a great show of caring and tried to blame his on-going skin condition on me -clucking and taking photographs of it .
She comes from the same continent and considered my reservations as racial abuse .
She stayed for three hours trying to bully me into employing them .
Even when I burst into tears - she continued .

Since then , I've returned to my previous arrangement : a friend /neighbour and her three daughters of whom my father is extremely fond come in .

I also have another carer and a retired nurse to come in if needs be . They live locally .

My advice is to advertise for someone , who has experience , but no longer wants to work full time and prefers local employment .

Wishing you every good luck .

I am talking now from experience, if you decide to change care providers you need to contact social services. They will then put your others care out to tender and accept the lowest bid. At this point you find out who they have in mind and google them and then discuss it with social services before they accept them. Also carers not being polite to our mum is abuse, they are not treating your mum with the respect she deserves. Also be forceful with the carers and social services to get the care your mum deserves.

Bel2109 If you are going to change your mother's care provider Google care providers in your area and look up their rating by the CQC. You can also look at the company which is providing the care at the moment and make comments about them. I would write to them first and tell them you intend to do this.
Sadly care at the moment is in a terrible state. Some of the companies providing care have been shown to be inadequate and the CQC is putting them in special measures. This doesn't really help the people who are served by that company and it is difficult to enforce anything. I know people working in the sector and some of the stories they tell are shocking. They report providers and move companies but things only seem to get worse. I hope things improve for you and your mum.

We had this problem. One lot of carers were as you describe. We changed agencies and it was much better. I specifically stated no gloves or equipment in our inside bin. It had to all go in the outside dustbin. I complained they left early. The agency denied it as the carers obviously lied on their timesheets. However I persisted. I found I had to constantly keep complaining but in the end it settled down fairly well. Don't be afraid to speak out constantly and, if needs be, try another agency. This type of work needs to be regulated and I'm not sure it is.

BEL2109 I would report this error immediately to the care provider and I would hide the medication until you're around to give it to your dm if that’s what will help you to feel safe carers in Scotland shouldn’t be administering medication to their patients unless they’ve has training. All the best

I went for a walk one day and came back and found that a carer had given my OH one tablet and was about give another - the carers were not supposed to give the meds at all (I was doing it); he was not due any meds at that moment; and the dose he was about to give could have been lethal.

The medication errors are a big red flag.

I am assuming these are agency carers - the agency needs to know and CQC needs to know.

GillT57

I too agree with Grandmafrench. Keep your complaints to matters of hygiene and safeguarding, the lack of politeness is irritating but it is not a contractual requirement to speak to you. Of all your valid concerns, I think the lack of security and safety when they leave your Mother with her home unsecured is the most serious. Good luck, keep us posted

Sorry, but I don’t agree with this. Lack of basic manners shows lack of professionalism, which in turn will affect the way your mum is treated.

There must be many people out there who would love to do this job, and would do it well. It’s just finding them.

Speak to the CQC.

One poster questioned carers adjusting dosages of medication. I cannot speak to British law, but the prescribing physician may include dosing orders to allow RNs…certainly not untrained carers, to make adjustments. Usually this would be for a patient with respiratory issue where dosage amounts could have an impact on their breathing,

I too agree with Grandmafrench. Keep your complaints to matters of hygiene and safeguarding, the lack of politeness is irritating but it is not a contractual requirement to speak to you. Of all your valid concerns, I think the lack of security and safety when they leave your Mother with her home unsecured is the most serious. Good luck, keep us posted

Grandmafrench

Some points raised by posters here are of real importance, Bel.

I do agree that CQC will probably be a waste of time and will be far too slow and hesitant to respond and deal with this urgently.

However, angry and upset you feel for your Mum and for yourself in the way that you are being disrespected, try to mount a strong campaign by keeping to the facts which will get your Mum's case the most attention - or should do.

Don't waste time or energy in complaining to all or any of the carers or their employers. Start at the top, with Social Services. Any complaints you do make should be in writing only. Keep copies, take photographs, have a file documenting all and every incident or safety issue or hygiene issue. Complain directly to Social Services (Adult Social Care?) and raise this as a safeguarding issue for your Mum. Hopefully your Mum will have a Social Worker - although in lots of areas they are in short supply and it's not always possible for a client to have the same Social Worker year on year. Wonder if she is due for a review - to establish whether she needs more care?

Whatever you do, every time you feel you need to complain and once you have sent off your first letter, make sure you keep a record of events and any issues which aren't resolved or which worry you subsequently. Don't let them turn your opinion of the people caring for your Mum into something personal, and possibly take the view that it's just you who don't like the people caring for your Mum. Keep in strictly business-like and impersonal, or this will deflect from the seriousness of your complaints. You want to speak up for your Mum, so stick to facts as they relate to her and her care. Don't talk about their behaviour towards you! It will give them a get-out and distract from your valid concerns.

Make sure your concerns with regard to hygiene, cleanliness, leaving your Mum's home as they find it, properly bagging up everything for safe disposal, etc. are raised. Ask that they give consideration to your Mum's case as a matter of urgency and if you don't receive a response within 7 days, in writing, write to them again.

People, whether genuinely overworked or just sloppy, will nowadays avoid letters and putting anything in writing if they possibly can. Telephone calls, messages, emails, anything informal and done at speed will be used wherever possible. Don't let your complaints be dismissed like this. You need to request a proper investigation, maybe replacement of the present carers or agency, a review of her meds', time spent on her care, and ensure that a copy of your letter goes to her GP. Good luck.

Extremely well said ????????????

Some points raised by posters here are of real importance, Bel.

I do agree that CQC will probably be a waste of time and will be far too slow and hesitant to respond and deal with this urgently.

However, angry and upset you feel for your Mum and for yourself in the way that you are being disrespected, try to mount a strong campaign by keeping to the facts which will get your Mum's case the most attention - or should do.

Don't waste time or energy in complaining to all or any of the carers or their employers. Start at the top, with Social Services. Any complaints you do make should be in writing only. Keep copies, take photographs, have a file documenting all and every incident or safety issue or hygiene issue. Complain directly to Social Services (Adult Social Care?) and raise this as a safeguarding issue for your Mum. Hopefully your Mum will have a Social Worker - although in lots of areas they are in short supply and it's not always possible for a client to have the same Social Worker year on year. Wonder if she is due for a review - to establish whether she needs more care?

Whatever you do, every time you feel you need to complain and once you have sent off your first letter, make sure you keep a record of events and any issues which aren't resolved or which worry you subsequently. Don't let them turn your opinion of the people caring for your Mum into something personal, and possibly take the view that it's just you who don't like the people caring for your Mum. Keep in strictly business-like and impersonal, or this will deflect from the seriousness of your complaints. You want to speak up for your Mum, so stick to facts as they relate to her and her care. Don't talk about their behaviour towards you! It will give them a get-out and distract from your valid concerns.

Make sure your concerns with regard to hygiene, cleanliness, leaving your Mum's home as they find it, properly bagging up everything for safe disposal, etc. are raised. Ask that they give consideration to your Mum's case as a matter of urgency and if you don't receive a response within 7 days, in writing, write to them again.

People, whether genuinely overworked or just sloppy, will nowadays avoid letters and putting anything in writing if they possibly can. Telephone calls, messages, emails, anything informal and done at speed will be used wherever possible. Don't let your complaints be dismissed like this. You need to request a proper investigation, maybe replacement of the present carers or agency, a review of her meds', time spent on her care, and ensure that a copy of your letter goes to her GP. Good luck.

don’t need it....sorry ?

Can’t you change them? I’m not familiar with how the care system works, but aren’t they agencies? Like nursing agencies who I have worked for?

If you had a team of workman you weren’t satisfied with, you’d sack them and get someone else if the problem couldn’t be resolved.

It must be horrendous for you both. You simply do need it.

the important issue here is who is paying for this? If your Mother is self funding, find more carers, taking care to report these dreadful ones to the CQC. The standard of care here is utterly dreadful, and it sounds as if they do not even know the very basics of hygiene if they are dumping used care products in your kitchen bin and leaving faeces on the floor, let alone the safety and security issues you have mentioned. If the carers are provided by SS you need to report them immediately as they are quite simply dangerous. Please don't think that all carers are the same though, the ones we used for my late DM were excellent. Good luck, this sounds awful.

Definitely report them, they are abusing your mum. Don’t take no for an answer,either. I felt upset on your behalf just reading what you are going through.

I don't think you will have much luck with the CQC unfortunately, they are a fairly useless body. I understand your frustration Bel2019 but you need to pick your battles, start trying to change the things which concern you most and don't worry too much about the small stuff. In the meantime look at changing your care provider. Make sure you have evidence of this lack of proper care etc.

You don’t have to keep these careers. Complain to Social Services and tell you want them removed ASAP. They will try and talk you round but stand your ground and get new careers in. I did this with my daughter and it was the best thing we ever did. Her carers are wonderful, they don’t always get things right but they are and listen.

I am surprised that carers have the authority to reduce medication, please someone correct me if I am wrong.

I have checked and the CQC do regulate Care in the home so I would contact them.

This sounds shocking. My experience with carers for my parents has always been good.
I your mum is not self funding I would contact Social Services. If she is then change to another company.

Does the CQC regulate Care Companies? It might be worthy contacting them.

I agree with the poster, this is abuse and sever neglect. Does your mum seem ' overall happy' with the carers Or is she too afraid of the consequences to complain?

You must take photos all the time and keep a diary of incidents, then report to the appropriate authority- ASAP!
These ' carers' are behaving in this appalling way simply because they can and know they are getting away with it. Please act immediately.

When my FiL needed carers they had to be put in place at short notice, so we were pleased to find a company that would do that. He was paying for them as he wasn't entitled to free care. At first they were very good, one young woman in particular. However, as he began to need more done for him they failed to step up to the mark, stayed much less than the time paid for and didn't follow instructions.

Eventually we changed to another company. What a difference! They were really so much better and did all that was asked of them. Unfortunately FiL had a fall - they found him - went to hospital and never made it home again to benefit from their care.

However, when he fell they rang us and we drove the 50 minute journey to find not only the carer but the manager waiting for us to explain. I was certainly impressed.

So, if you can, see if you can find another company, either privately or through Social Services.

If you are in England the care again nay is probably commissioned by your local authority Social Services department. They are responsible for safeguarding your mother. I would ring them today and say you wish to report a safeguarding issue.