My mum wants to die and it’s all she talks about

www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/19548774.amp/
www.playlistforlife.org.uk/about-us/

Betty my mum was like that - just couldn’t be bothered & didn’t want to know. The first link I posted is to a film Sally Magnusson has made & the second is to the charity she founded - you might find the info on there helpful.
I do hope things get a bit better for you and your mum.

I'm so sorry to read about your problems with Mum Betty. Please do think again about contacting your doctor. I have had depression for many years and the medication I have helps me enormously. It's nothing to fear or be ashamed of, same as with any other medical condition. Anti-depressants may help to lift your Mum's mood too.

This is so so hard for you, and I feel for you.

But your mum is entitled to feel this way. She is aware of what she has lost and what is ahead of her, and feels 'what is the point'. My mum was the same. I am a member of Dignity in Dying, and I fortunately live in a country where that choice would be mine. Can you not understand this?

Does she see your GP - or the one allocated to the home? Either way, arrange to be there when they visit her. You'll be able to let them know how she is (have a private conversation away from her).

She may have pain that's not under control and/or depression (common at that age) and often, the elderly don't express themselves well to doctors. If anti-depressants would lift her spirits, I see no reason for not liking them.

Betty that’s so very sad. Don’t bear this burden alone. Speak to someone, your GP, a social worker, a support group in your area, anyone like that.

Sadly the long term memory is sketchy at best, I have tried the photos but it’s like she can’t be bothered. I do like the music idea and will happily try it. I have not contacted my doctor as I would not like to be put on medication

So sad Betty65 and I feel for your mother as well as you.

I am sure the nursing home is doing their best but perhaps you could talk to the manager and see if your Mum would benefit from anti-depressants.
And make an appointment for yourself too to see your GP as JaneJudge suggests.


Living long is not always rosy and most of us wouldn't want to be living like that.
It is so sad.

It’s heartbreaking Bette, my sympathy.
Is there anything that lifts your mum’s mood? Does she have long-term memory - would it help to look at old family photos & reminisce with her?
What about music? Sally Magnusson wrote a book about coping with her mother’s dementia & compiling a playlist of music from her mother’s youth helped her.

Betty, I'm very sorry for what you are going through

You MUST ring your GP and talk to someone.

CarersUk should have a local group to you too who will be able to help.