Grandkids

That is quite long hours the days it's 10 Jinny. Could they not use a nursery or current childminder for some of the time? We are in Scotland and 3 year olds get 30 hours a week school term dates in either nursery or childminder. Slightly less if it's all year. Some 2 year olds are also eligible for some hours. I think there are similar things in rest of UK.

His parents live in Newcastle & hundreds of miles away. So it's just me..hubby & other daughter because D & sil won't pay for childcare.

I think you'll have to book a break away for your husband and self - then you won't be physically there!

That amount of childminding is far too much to expect of you. You'll have to find a way to put a stop to it.

Thanks for listening..Jinny

I was in a similar position 6 years ago when my son asked me to do regular babysitting. I, very politely explained that I was committed to my daughters children 2 to 3 days a week, and I really didn’t have the time or energy to do any more. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but it had to be said. I guess they were a bit miffed at first. But I felt no guilt, because if need be, they had dils parents and could afford to pay for a childminder. I did say I would do the odd babysitting if they were stuck. Also, I was a very nervous driver and I just couldn’t risk having kids in the car. It’s all ok now.

My other D who has no kids yet has said that soon we will go away for a week & leave her to it. My other D also gets put on to help with the kids & she is a hard working teenage cancer nurse & also gets fed up of having her free time taken up with the kids. We do take them out when she is off but U cannot on my own because sil is using my car for work. Won't moan any more honest!!

I would imagine they don't hear what you are saying because it is far cheaper for them to use you than pay childcare fees.

Don't have conversations about it.
State you are unable to continue looking after the children because it is affecting your health and their safety.
Give them a deadline and make sure you are physically not available after that date.

Why must kids scream & fight & non stop touching your stuff. You get told to put it away but why should I when my own when young didn't destroy things. Am feeling a bit sorry for myself I know. Only another 4 hours to go before they go home unless she expects me to cook for the other 2..only tomorrow left to get through which will then be 30 hours done this week!

Stand your ground Jinny, and let the psychological brainwashing go over your head.

Lots of parents of young children get stressed out and manage well enough without such great expectations of help and assistance. Your D will be able to so too.

Believe me I have tried to discuss with them & ranted & raved at them especially as they also wanted me to home board their dog when they want to go away. I did it for 4 nights then knocked that on the head when my D said "Oh! You can do it every time". Not a snowballs chance. All I get is psychology brainwashing from her. She is stressed out & her constant complaining is stressing me out. Get a nanny for your 4 kids was my reply. Feel like moving far far away.

Give them some notice so that they can find other childcare, just say ‘from 1st march I will not be looking after the children‘
Whatever is said in reply repeat the sentence.

It will be an awkward 5-minute conversation but will finish the arrangement.

It is not your job. Explain that you can’t do it, and why. Too many grandparents are wearing themselves out doing their children’s job.

It’s not really their decision to make. I would just be firm and calm and say no.

Continue to say no
They are the parents, it is their responsibility to arrange care of their kids, not to dump that on you