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Tips for single handed caring!

(19 Posts)
Thoro Sun 24-Apr-22 14:05:35

And I mean one hand! Fell over yesterday and did a great job of breaking and displacing bone in my wrist. It has been realigned and plastered but needs to be held high in a sling so is not usable.(fortunately left hand and I am right handed). Husband has dementia- doesn’t need physical care but I do need to keep him to a timetable (food, pills etc) and cook, clean etc.
We don’t need anyone coming in but if anyone has any tips for coping with one handsmile. So far I have been carrying a shoulder bag about with things I need, I wedged my hot water bottle in the sink with a washing up bowl to fill it, holding stuff with my knees and sitting to do up my trousers. Husband tries to help but gets confused or forgets what he’s doing. Any more ideas on how to manage.

silverlining48 Sun 24-Apr-22 14:43:56

Oh what bad luck Thoro. Do be careful of your bad hand, it needs to heal properly. Let everything go, don’t try to keep up with your normal activities. Making sure you eat and drink etc is enough, do minimum, assume you can get food online.
. The bag is a good idea. [Flowers]

silverlining48 Sun 24-Apr-22 14:44:56

IS Theres anyone who can help, family, friends neighbours. Don’t be afraid to ask. GP?

Charleygirl5 Sun 24-Apr-22 14:47:52

I hope you have been told to take the injured hand out of its sling 4 hourly to bend and fully straighten your arm because when it is healed you do not want to have a stiff elbow and be able to straighten it.

Thoro Sun 24-Apr-22 14:57:07

Fortunately my son doesn’t live far. I usually look after the grandkids 3 days a week - that’s on hold (15 month twins and a four year old!) and yes I am resting my arm. Neighbours would also help but I do like to be independent.
I have booked online shopping and will be using cabs for Docs appointments etc. Not being able to drive is a definite

silverlining48 Sun 24-Apr-22 14:59:21

That’s lucky Thoro, glad you have some support.

Saxifrage Sun 24-Apr-22 15:06:54

I have a husband with dementia so can just about begin to imagine how tough it is. I think you should really concentrate on making life as easy as possible. Could you use one of the agencies to get a cleaner in for a few weeks? Have a word with social services to see if they could organise someone to cook , perhaps once a day. Get shopping delivered and choose every convenience food you can find. Could you advertise on local websites for a assistant/secretary/bottle washer to come in occasionally to help. I realise it depends where you live and what you can afford in the way of help but you do need to harvest your energy to allow good healing. Good luck and sympathy.

sodapop Sun 24-Apr-22 15:09:19

Bad luck Thoro you could do without that. Being independent is fine but sometimes it's good to let people help where they can, don't turn away offers of help.
Sounds like you have got things organised I can't really add anything except don't try do everything, some things can wait. Take care

Saxifrage Sun 24-Apr-22 15:09:37

Sorry just seen your 2nd message, I also cared for twin grandchildren a few years ago so definitely don't go back to that too soon!!!

Teacheranne Sun 24-Apr-22 15:15:39

I would recommend getting a cleaner in for a few weeks or months so that you don’t have to worry about essential cleaning while your arm is in a sling. Just a couple of hours a week would probably be enough.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 24-Apr-22 15:19:02

I’d second allowing people to help. I have always suffered from migraines. When the children were small and OH was abroad on business, there were a few times when I had no choice but to call a friend and ask them to take the children to school because I felt so ill. I didn’t have a car for a short time and when elder son bit a hole in his lip I had to ask a friend to drive us to the doctor. You don’t have to do everything! People generally don’t mind being asked for help and will if they are able. We can always reciprocate.

Margiknot Sun 24-Apr-22 15:30:17

Oh dear-I hope you mend well.! I used a small washing up bowl to put things in whilst carrying it on my hip was quite useful when I damaged both my wrists and a shoulder and elbow. I’ve heard a wheeled trolley can be useful for carrying drinks from one room another. The thing I could not manage was doing up a bra- a step in bra let was my only answer although quite awkward to do!

Charleygirl5 Sun 24-Apr-22 16:01:31

You will also need help with changing bedding because you do not want to be jerking your injured arm.

I agree with others, find a temporary cleaner if possible and maybe she could change the bedding for you.

MawtheMerrier Sun 24-Apr-22 18:54:33

We don’t need anyone coming in but if anyone has any tips for coping with One hand

With due respect - it sounds very much as if you DO need someone even in the short term to be an extra pair of hands.
Do you have family who might help out ? Or perhaps one of the “Helping Hands” type agencies or Molly Maids to help with the housework, changing beds etc
This is not the time to be soldiering on - I hope you can find some help.
PS a trolley is useful for carrying things from one room to another, plus two of everything - one upstairs, one downstairs if you can manage that.

Nanna58 Tue 26-Apr-22 00:56:56

Hi Thoro , just to say sort of in the same boat, husband has dementia and I’ve just had a foot operation ( major!) We are trying to get by on the theory that I can organise and explain what needs to be done, and he can , with supervision, do the practical stuff I can’t. Online shopping, ready meals and plent of time to do even the simplest things. Best of luck !

GrauntyHelen Tue 26-Apr-22 03:27:27

You do need someone coming in you are just being stubborn about it I'm the same !

Thoro Tue 26-Apr-22 10:53:36

Thank you for your ideas and comments- day 4 and we’re doing ok. We do have a gardener but I have always hated the idea of someone doing my housework (even when I worked full time with 3 kids) even though I know it would probably be a good idea. On the plus side I can leave stuff that doesn’t need doing and will be careful not to over reach myself! Good luck Nanna58

aggie Tue 26-Apr-22 11:19:05

Thoro how on earth are you coping ? I can’t even manage my own personal care with one hand , never mind caring for someone else !
How do you prepare a meal and clear up after with one hand ?please share your tips with us

aggie Tue 26-Apr-22 13:55:09

When I had surgery for Carpal Tunnel syndrome I couldn’t do my bra up , I had to just do without , I was lucky that my poor Jim had carers coming in to care for him