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Daughter feeling guilty

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Graygirl Thu 02-Feb-23 10:50:49

DH has had surgery on wrist , massive bacterial infection doctors trying to get to bottom of it. Facing more surgery in next week totally dependent on me can't even go for a wee alone so tied to house. DD lives 500 yards away with SIL who is great works shifts and does 60hours a week , GS 16 in GCSE year , she has RD works fulltime and in middle of flair, yesterday she forgot we were back at hospital, so last night on phone was giving herself a hard time for forgetting. We know if we need them they would drop everything.Need to convince her just being around is enough for us

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dragonfly46 Thu 02-Feb-23 10:59:23

Gosh so often you hear that things are the other way around. You obviously have a wonderful family and exceptional DD. Just keep telling her that you appreciate all the help she gives you but she must not feel obliged. She has her own health and family to think of. Stress that you are really grateful for the support her family gives but you do not expect it.

I hope your DH recovers soon.

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Summerskies Mon 27-Feb-23 23:09:35

Does anyone else have this problem. My mum in law is getting very frail and needs care. My husband has two brothers. Both the brothers wives are helping with personal care. One sister in law is retired and the other has more free time. I work and also look after grandchildren on my days off. I visit mum in law with my grandchildren which brightens her day. One of the brothers has been having a dig that I could do some caregiving , but as well as having no time I do not want to provide personal care from the dignity point of view and think they should bring in private carers. Has anyone else experienced this situation? It's causing a lot of family tension.

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