88yr old dad wants to go in care whilst I'm on holiday

When my MIL set fire to her kitchen and had to move out I had no trouble getting her into a home near me. I simply rang local homes to see who had a free room.

The other alternative would be to arrange carers to go in however many times a day he would like.

Start with 'Bluebird' who are a national franchise or 'Home Instead', also a national concern.

We used Bluebird for my Dad when we went on holiday. He enjoyed their company so much he wanted to carry on with them. We then used them for my in-laws.

Otherwise you may have some local organisations you are aware of.

that's a good point.
often a big gap between front reception area and reality behind the scenes, esp at night.
as for clothes, it is so common that things are lost, or put in the wrong room.
many workers never even look at labels, let alone read them. i found this to be so when i pointed to the name labels. the blank reaction said it all.
more serious was the pointless conversation with the nurse whose main duty was medication, and who could not explain where some of the client's tablets had gone.
had been given correct dose, according to records, but number remaining in blister pack did not tally.
she simply repeated what client had been given, agreed how many had been handed in, and how many remained in pack.
no acknowledgement, let alone explanation, as to why the figures did not add up.
this was with the manager questioning her, who eventually gave up, met with the same response, parrot-like.
and that was meant to be one of the better establishments, part of a chain.
evening meal was curled up sandwich, made at lunch-time. mother's shame type white bread.
i found the more individual ones, bible verses on wall, someone playing a grand piano, real food served in the evening, better.
but the care quality commission criticised the latter for not having enough salt and pepper pots on tables.

Some care homes have respite beds which are available for short term stays. I'd ring round find which could accommodate him and then take him on a visit to make sure it's really what he wants. He may change his mind when he sees the reality.

Wenmore

Callistemon21

label his clothes and send in old ones.
Yes. My cousin came home without any of her clothes.

If the clothes were labelled the loss should be reported to the Care Quality Commission, it's absolutely inexcusable and a sign of a badly managed home.

Well, I think my cousin went into the home in rather a rush and her clothes probably weren't labelled.
She needed short-term care urgently and, yes, from what she said, it wasn't great.

Callistemon21

^label his clothes^ and send in old ones.
Yes. My cousin came home without any of her clothes.

If the clothes were labelled the loss should be reported to the Care Quality Commission, it's absolutely inexcusable and a sign of a badly managed home.

label his clothes and send in old ones.
Yes. My cousin came home without any of her clothes.

most care homes take people for respite care. Luckily your dad does not need nursing care. Ask around for recommendations - GP surgery, neighbours, social services or look at the internet and visit any that you think would suit your dad - some have nice gardens, etc. Your dad would have company, food provided, washing done ( label his clothes) and you would have peace of mind when you are away.

Bella23

Was your Father in the forces I know two people who use the forces care homes for elderly Fathers when they go on holiday. They are very satisfied and their fathers settled as the residents were mainly men and they could talk about their experiences.
The care home also arranges a once-a-week visit at their own home to keep them company. Sorry `I don't know what it costs.

Good idea if there is one nearby.

If he's 88 he will no doubt have done National Service. However, most of the RBL ones are for dementia patients, I think.

Another option is live in care - it’s about half the price if residential and he stays in his own home. As long as he has a spare bedroom, it can work. There re a number of agency’s who supple care. My husband has had a stroke and doesn’t need nursing care just assistance so when I want a break I arrange this.

As your father has suggested it himself, I am guessing he may well appreciate the company as well as the care and facilities.
When my Dad died, Mum had already said she wanted to go into a Home. It was the best thing for her as none of us lived near her. She enjoyed the company and the entertainment and did not have to worry about the shopping, washing etc. She already knew which one, as the father of a neighbour was in one. It was also recommended by the Community Nurse. A phone call confirmed they had a vacancy and a visit from me found it was a lovely place.

Was your Father in the forces I know two people who use the forces care homes for elderly Fathers when they go on holiday. They are very satisfied and their fathers settled as the residents were mainly men and they could talk about their experiences.
The care home also arranges a once-a-week visit at their own home to keep them company. Sorry `I don't know what it costs.

Just a thought Angie, if you have a local F'book (sometimes 'Spotted' but others exist too of course) - or perhaps your dad's town or village if you're actually a distance away? - then put a post on there asking if anyone has good (or bad?!) local experiences to share?!

I admit that I haven't read all the posts so apologies if this has already been done.
It just occurred to me that if you give an idea of which part of the country you live in, some GNers living in that area might know of care homes with a good reputation. If you could get the heading to refer to both care home and area it might attract attention of more readers.
Good Luck!

When you make enquiries make sure it is a residential care home, not a nursing home or one specialising in dementia care if he does not have dementia.

If he has a broken rib which may not be fully mended, staying in a care home would be the best option so that there are always staff on duty if he shoul have a problem, although his rib should be mended by then.

I wish my 94 year old dad would do that. When I’m away (and I semi retired last year with the aim of being able to travel more) he gets cross then gets panicky. My daughter works for Revitalise in Southport and he could easily have a couple of weeks there or in a local care home. I feel guilty about booking trips away.

Excellent idea for your dad and peace of mind for you and other family members.
Phone around local care homes and ask if they take respite clients. That’s all I did. If your dad isnt eligible for financial help or indeed you haven’t had time to set it up ….it’ll cost between £600-1000 for the week.

Have you started claiming Attendance Allowance for him yet? Sounds like you could now be in that zone. Also to echo others. Do go and visit. We recently found that the brochures could look fab but the reality so different.

Is he well enough to stay in a hotel. It would be cheaper and maybe nicer than just being with other old people

An aunt of dh, 80s and no dementia but increasingly frail, put herself in a local care home for a month while her cleaning lady/general help was away.

It was outwardly a very plush care home, sea front and expensive, but she hated it. I visited her there twice, staff were so surly, unhelpful and miserable-looking. She couldn’t wait to get home.

So while I think it’s a very good idea for your dad, OP, I’d certainly look for recommendations, and don’t necessarily be influenced by decor or how expensive it is.

Definitely ring around the homes. I've heard local radio adverts stating "Three weeks for the price of Two" etc so might be worth asking as it's your dad who will be self funding

Look at CQC reports, try and arrange informal visits, ask friends locally if they have any knowledge/experience with local care homes.

Contact Social Services asap. Due to his accidents he may qualify for free respite care or a carer while you are away.

Phone local care homes and ask if they have a room for your father on a temporary /respite basis. I spent two weeks at such a one and found the experience interesting. I was mobile and compos mentis but had eye problems. I paid £1000 a week.

Contact care homes. Many take people for short respite stays. Your DF will have to pay full price by the sounds of it. Check the Inspection reports for any Homes you visit and if you can find anyone who can makexa recommendation that will help too. Don't be surprised if your DF wants to stay long term, often having someone on site 24 hours makes a resident feel more secure. Hope all works out and your holiday goes well.