A dying brother refusing medical help

I think she should contact a doctor to express her concern that he can't get out of bed and has stopped eating. My mum was unable to get out of bed and thirty six hours passed before my brother contacted anyone. By then she was in a terrible state and was hospitalised where she still remains. For this man, it could be cancer or a stroke but it could also be severe depression or an untreated thyroid condition.

She has to protect herself.

Also, he may not be in his right mind or have the mental capacity to act in his own best interests. Tell her to phone 111 for urgent help.

Adult social services, this is a safeguarding issue, at least your friend then knows she’s been seen to try.

Beat me to it Jax. Exactly this!

Adult social services... ring and make a referral based on self neglect as capacity is unknown

Grandmabatty

I think she should contact a doctor to express her concern that he can't get out of bed and has stopped eating. My mum was unable to get out of bed and thirty six hours passed before my brother contacted anyone. By then she was in a terrible state and was hospitalised where she still remains. For this man, it could be cancer or a stroke but it could also be severe depression or an untreated thyroid condition.

Yes!

Jaxjacky

Adult social services, this is a safeguarding issue, at least your friend then knows she’s been seen to try.

Yes again!

Jaxjacky

Adult social services, this is a safeguarding issue, at least your friend then knows she’s been seen to try.

Absolutely this.
I do hope that your friend gets the help that she needs

Ring 111, explain the situation and take their advice. They will probably send the paramedics and ambulance straight round.

You have been given excellent advice on here. Please act on it and let us know the outcome.
Hope it all works out.

Update for you all. My friend rang the out of hours doctor and spoke to him. He then spoke to her brother and after speaking with him, said that he would get her doctor to call her on Tuesday. She rang me to say she felt much better but confirmed that her brother would refuse to see anyone if they were called to see him. He has mental capacity and is determined to be in control of his own destiny. I have known both of them since birth and assuming no change in the situation I shall be seeing her and her brother on Friday of this week. My friend will continue to see ask what he wants but will also respect his wishes. It’s very sad.

Thank you for updating us. Your friend's brother is being selfish and only thinking of himself and not her at all. I feel really sorry for her

Helene

Update for you all. My friend rang the out of hours doctor and spoke to him. He then spoke to her brother and after speaking with him, said that he would get her doctor to call her on Tuesday. She rang me to say she felt much better but confirmed that her brother would refuse to see anyone if they were called to see him. He has mental capacity and is determined to be in control of his own destiny. I have known both of them since birth and assuming no change in the situation I shall be seeing her and her brother on Friday of this week. My friend will continue to see ask what he wants but will also respect his wishes. It’s very sad.

Thank you for coming back with an update.
Such a sad situation.
I am so pleased that your friend rang for help from the out of hours Dr and that, hopefully her own Doctor will ring her on Tuesday which means that there will at least be some sort of record of her asking for help.
Wishing strength and peace for both

but if he's living in her house, doesn't that affect the situation at all.
if he's v ill, who is to fetch and carry for him.
and do the physical caring.
i think she should ring adult social services.
she needs help to cope.

I feel sorry for your friend but this leaves me with so many questions.

How can anyone can confirm he has mental capacity if he has not seen someone who is qualified to make such an assessment?

How does your friend feel about becoming forced to be his carer against her wishes?

If he can'tget out of bed, who changes his nappies or empties his commode and who brings food to his bedside to enable him to stay in bed?

There are people who cannot get out of bed for many reasons, including depression. It seems very unfair that, "determined to be in control of his own destiny" he has taken to his bed and refuses to help himself

Exactly what my DH did ! I could not ignore this as I am his carer. He is in the hospital now getting nutrition and care. I will not be the accomplice of an assisted dying request. I did what was necessary for his health because obviously his mind was not working. Just because someone refuses food and wants to die doesn't always mean they are coherent and thinking logically.