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Aged mother in law

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justanovice Thu 16-Jan-25 12:38:53

Lathyrus3
Obviously I don't want them to stop feeding her, that would be equally cruel but why not food and drink that she likes? It's the constant "force feeding" of supplements which she doesn't like that I object to.

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Shinamae Thu 16-Jan-25 12:34:06

Lathyrus3

I have to assume you are stressed and not thinking clearly.

You have placed her in a care home so you have delegated the duty of care to them. They cannot stop feeding her. Only a doctor could authorise that and only as an imminent end of life matter.

Even if you had medical power of Attorney you could not authorise the Care home to abandon its duty of care.

The only way you could stop her being fed is to assume her care for yourselves. Then if you did not feed her you would be open to prosecution.

Do you really expect the care home to stop feeding her?

Exactly this.. I am a carer in a high dementia care home

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Lathyrus3 Thu 16-Jan-25 12:30:41

I have to assume you are stressed and not thinking clearly.

You have placed her in a care home so you have delegated the duty of care to them. They cannot stop feeding her. Only a doctor could authorise that and only as an imminent end of life matter.

Even if you had medical power of Attorney you could not authorise the Care home to abandon its duty of care.

The only way you could stop her being fed is to assume her care for yourselves. Then if you did not feed her you would be open to prosecution.

Do you really expect the care home to stop feeding her?

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justanovice Thu 16-Jan-25 12:10:04

Please bear with me I just need to vent!
My MIL will be 100 in a few weeks. She has advanced dementia, doesn't recognise us , doesn't speak. She looks thoroughly miserable and when I think of the active, outdoor woman she has always been it's easy to understand why.
She's in a care home and is well looked after but, because she doesn't eat or drink much, they are constantly trying to feeds her dietary supplements and I am more and more of the opinion that it's starting to verge on cruelty. Why on earth can't they leave the poor woman alone.
Before you ask we do have power of attorney but not unfortunately for medical matters.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice would be very welcome.

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