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Care & carers

Care plan not sure what to include or request

(21 Posts)
sadmum7 Wed 01-Oct-25 17:31:03

My mum (98)went into a nursing home last week, she has dementia, cancer. She had carers 4 x a day at home until 3 recent falls. We live 80 miles away so not feasible to pop into see her daily.

The home have rung me and asked if there is anything l would like included in care plan - what sort of things should l be thinking about ? My mind is a total blank. Thank you

eddiecat78 Wed 01-Oct-25 17:47:36

It could include things as simple as what name she likes to be called by - especially as she has dementia. E.G. her official name could be Elizabeth but she only responds to Betty

Grandmabatty Wed 01-Oct-25 17:49:52

Favourite things like food, drink, tv programmes music. I agree with the previous poster. My mum was Elizabeth but always known as Betty. When she went into a care home, I had a long form to fill in with likes and dislikes included

Grandmafrench Wed 01-Oct-25 17:54:24

Any small thing that only you know still matters to her?

Madgran77 Wed 01-Oct-25 18:18:32

1. Name she likes to be known by
2. Names of significant others in family and their relationship to her
3. Favourite foods including favourite treats
4. Interests and hobbies of old plus what was her job if she had one? Did she volunteer at some point maybe? Think about ways for them to to catch her interest and give enjoyment eg a gardener might like to look at a gardening magazine with someone etc.
5. Favourite music; tv programnes etc
6. Her background and some details of her life history and key moments etc. Send an album with photos in that they might look at with her

Basically give them information that builds up a picture of her as a person. She is still in there and is still an individual and deserves to matter until her last breath as an individual and not just a patient.

This must be hard for you 💐

NotSpaghetti Wed 01-Oct-25 18:22:32

My mother-in-law's care plan starts with some personal history which helped staff understand her background, life before care, family relationships.

It goes on to outline her daily "routine"

Things she likes - tea with a biscuit.
Music she likes / radio programmes etc
Things she likes close by, pen/ paper/ clock/ diary etc

Supervision for medication to make sure she swallows.

Help cutting up her meals.

Reminding to use the bathroom.

The sorts of food she preferred at home.

Things she needs help with
Eg. Getting out of bed
Walking
Physiotherapy for x,y,z

Non- prescription treatments- eg, weekly ear oil
Putting in hearing aids

Hope this helps.
flowers

silverlining48 Wed 01-Oct-25 18:30:21

Family usually attend the care plan meeting , I did for my mum, it allows you to talk about your mum and the sort of things she likes or dislikes etc. You live away but not that far, assume you will visit so can you attend the meeting?
I wrote a life story for my mum, her jobs and interests as madgran suggests and included photos but that didn’t form part of her care plan which was more about her daily care.
I hope she settles in.

kittylester Wed 01-Oct-25 18:47:58

What sort of things does she like/not like to wear.

Makeup?
Perfume?

As many teeny details as possible.

Jaxjacky Wed 01-Oct-25 19:19:57

Things she doesn’t like too, these can sometimes be accentuated with dementia and cause a strong reaction, I witnessed it with my Mum.

Primrose53 Wed 01-Oct-25 19:27:59

I think pretty much everything I was going to mention has been covered above.

I remember doing this with my Mum. We were also asked to do an End Of Life plan. This was done very sensitively and Mum was quite OK with doing it. She was able to say whether she preferred to be in the care home (where she was very happy) or hospital and she said the home unless she broke a hip or something and had to go to hospital.

She also said she wanted me to be there, to wear her favourite nightdress, use her favourite perfume, keep her mouth fresh and be wrapped up warm! She wanted to have her favourite Irish music playing gently. She got everything she wanted.

sadmum7 Wed 01-Oct-25 22:15:39

Thank you everyone , much appreciated .

GoodAfternoonTea Thu 02-Oct-25 08:03:17

Hairdresser and chiropodist services. My lovely dad, just before he died, has both these services and he looked so professional. I had been doing both for him when I looked after him at home. He was 96.

GoodAfternoonTea Thu 02-Oct-25 08:04:40

Primrose53

I think pretty much everything I was going to mention has been covered above.

I remember doing this with my Mum. We were also asked to do an End Of Life plan. This was done very sensitively and Mum was quite OK with doing it. She was able to say whether she preferred to be in the care home (where she was very happy) or hospital and she said the home unless she broke a hip or something and had to go to hospital.

She also said she wanted me to be there, to wear her favourite nightdress, use her favourite perfume, keep her mouth fresh and be wrapped up warm! She wanted to have her favourite Irish music playing gently. She got everything she wanted.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful farewell.

Lathyrus3 Thu 02-Oct-25 09:13:08

I remember that for a relative I put

“She hates being stroked gently. Any kind of rhythmic touching.
If you hold her hand do it quite firmly and without movement.
On no account stroke her head or arm to comfort or soothe.”

I felt bad writing it because these are things that people do instinctively when they are caring. But I knew it would have been torture for my relative.

NotSpaghetti Thu 02-Oct-25 09:21:15

This reminds me Lathyrus3 - we put something like "please don't chat to her in the mornings as she can't tolerate this until after breakfast and will probably be rude and snappy!"

Lathyrus3 Thu 02-Oct-25 09:30:10

Oh yes. I would definitely need that. It’s those little individual character things that people close to you know and carers can’t possibly know.

What a helpful thread this can be🙂

Winslet Wed 25-Mar-26 12:29:56

Focus on practical and comfort-related details that help staff give consistent, personalized care. You can include her daily routine (sleep, meal times), preferred foods and drinks, any allergies or dislikes, and how she communicates (words, gestures, or behaviors that signal pain or discomfort). Also mention her mobility needs, fall risk precautions, and how much help she needs with dressing, eating, and hygiene.

petra Wed 25-Mar-26 12:42:02

Winslet

Focus on practical and comfort-related details that help staff give consistent, personalized care. You can include her daily routine (sleep, meal times), preferred foods and drinks, any allergies or dislikes, and how she communicates (words, gestures, or behaviors that signal pain or discomfort). Also mention her mobility needs, fall risk precautions, and how much help she needs with dressing, eating, and hygiene.

This thread is 5 months old

PamelaJ1 Wed 25-Mar-26 13:40:51

Maybe my suggestion is not suitable for a ‘care plan’ but could you put together a photo book or album with a lots of photos of family, parts, places she loved etc. ?

petra Wed 25-Mar-26 13:56:34

PamelaJ1

Maybe my suggestion is not suitable for a ‘care plan’ but could you put together a photo book or album with a lots of photos of family, parts, places she loved etc. ?

The reason I posted that this thread is 5 months old is because there is every possibility taking into account the patient’s age and a cancer diagnosis that she might no longer be with us.
The OP has posted on GN a few times and once again there is a possibility that if her mother has passsed away these new posts could be very upsetting.

M0nica Wed 25-Mar-26 15:23:27

Not just food she likes, but the foods she hates as well.