Sexual abuse of carers?

I know there have been threads in the past about inappropriate behaviour coming from some very ill husbands
I m sorry to hear this is happening from someone you love very much I know nothing about this subject but just off the top of my head could the GP not help you
I would have thought that would be the first place to seek help There are things to get peoples sexual function ‘going’ surely the opposite is possible too

Please speak to your GP, a strong person with disinhibition could be dangerous to you albeit the partner you know and love there may well be some kind of preemptive advice.

Support for the advice from the two previous posters. Please get an appointment to discuss this with your GP. Medics will be aware of disinhibition and how best to support both of you. It could be something changing his drug treatment could help.

This is not an unusual problem carerinterloping but very distressing for you. It can be caused by some medication or dementia. Talk to your Dr and get some help. Even though you love your husband and care for him you should not be subjected to this.
Take care of yourself.

I have come across this situation before and the woman in question did (eventually) go to see her GP following an incident when she was physically hurt on one such occasion. Her GP was very understanding and helped her to see that she was actually in a very vulnerable situation. He was able to point out that the incidents were escalating and she was becoming ever more vulnerable, he also reminded her that if her husband was ‘in his right mind’ he would want his wife to be protected. They talked through a lot of options, but unfortunately before any further action could be taken another serious incident took place and she was indeed injured quite badly.

I hope this tale doesn’t alarm you, but rather you see that this is not an uncommon situation that your GP will be able to help you with.

I can't read about such articles in the newspaper as it upsets me so much. One such incident appeared in my local paper last week and although I got the gist of what had happened I couldn't read any details.

The woman " carer" had tormented a poor soul with dementia to such an extent that the woman eventually died.
No prison sentence was handed out to the monster-----because she had children !! For God's sake !

Definitely see your doctor. He is stronger than you and not himself. As Grannyactivist said he would not have wanted you to suffer this.

EllanVannin please don't be offended but I don't think you read the details of this post either, it's not quite what you thought!

Probably not justwokeup as I just see the word abuse and don't read any more. It's never my favourite read at the best of times, but I'll go through the post properly and see where I've gone wrong. Thankyou anyway. x

Oh goodness, I see what you mean. Oh dear. No offence was meant in my post to anyone going through difficulties.

Yes, this is well understood by those who deal with very ill people. I agree with that you should discuss with someone who can help you. Begin with whichever professional you feel most comfortable talking to. This could be your GP, a helper from a charity, a specialist nurse, social worker or someone else.
Although it is difficult, there is help available, exactly what is individual. It is very sad, but professionals do know this happens.
Can I also say that if by any chance you feel fobbed off or not heard, please ask someone else. You do need to do this, not just for yourself, but for others in your family, and for the man your husband once was.
My thoughts are with you.

Could you sleep in separate rooms, and have a bolt on your door? (I'm making assumptions this mostly happens at night).
You need to safeguard your personal safety.

I used to do home care for social services. We had an elderly male client who took a fancy to my colleague and made her visits to him very difficult for her.
Management advice was basically be sympathetic to him and just try and cope as best she could. He was bigger than her and she was really uncomfortable going to his house.
She warned me and while he never behaved that way with me, I always made sure to stay between him and the door.

Thanks everyone. It is a huge comfort to find this isn’t unheard of. I don’t want to criminalise or demonise him at all, or sleep in separate rooms if I can help it. Will talk to the doctor.

I went through similar problems with my Elderly Father who was suffering with Dementia at the time, and became inappropriate towards his female carers. We held a case conference with his GP, Social worker, CPN, Care agency, and myself as his next of kin. It was decided that his medication be changed and he was prescribed a medication that helped calm him down with his urges. We also replaced one of his carers with a Male, and although he protested about removing his ‘Girlfriend’ as he called her, he did settle somewhat, but then started ringing the emergency services when my back was turned and making improper suggestions to the call handlers.
We then found him a place in a care home where he was totally supported by Male carers. His behaviour gave us no other choice, after his home care agency totally withdrew his carers after he asked one of them to strip off and get in the shower with him, and offered her money to do so, she had only called in to deliver a prescription to him!

Even in the care home he became disruptive, he still had a degree of Mobility, and tried to escape a few times. Even though he had failed his mental capacity tests and was considered a danger to himself. Sadly after he suffered a fall he was taken into hospital, he had suffered a stroke, and died two days later.
The person who helped us the most was his Community Psychiatric Nurse. She had a firm no nonsense approach with him, and was very experienced in dealing with the elderly. She also suggested the medication that helped calm him down, and arranged the prescription via the GP. Please don’t feel too embarrassed to discuss this with your DH Care Team, they deal with similar situations all the time, and are the best way to get help.