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What are your dreams for your daughter? International Women's Day

(25 Posts)
JosieGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 08-Mar-12 10:27:19

Today, 8 March, is International Women's Day. The White Ribbon Alliance have created with a video of prominent individuals talking about their dreams for their daughters (you can watch it here ).

So we thought we would ask, what are your dreams for your daughter/s? On this day, when we're thinking about making things more equal for women the world over, it seems like a great time to ask about how we'd like things to be for women in the future.

Read more about International Women's Day

Nsube Thu 08-Mar-12 10:49:12

My dreams for my daughter are the same as for my son. I want them to have happy fulfilling relationships and be good parents. I also want them to put back into society as much - or more - than they have benefitted from it.

But for my daughter and DiL the big issue (in this country) is still childcare. There are many ways in many countries of providing childcare, but for the most part it is still women who do most of it, perhaps as mothers or grandmothers or as paid childcare workers. It is this inequity which I hope will improve. But I'm not holding my breath.

glassortwo Thu 08-Mar-12 11:18:53

I would like my DD and DG to have the opportunity to stand along side a man with the same qualification and be paid equally, and to have the issues in childcare resolved so the weight of this does not always fall to the women of this society.

But ultimately to achieve whatever they want and not feel guilty over their decision.

Carol Thu 08-Mar-12 12:02:35

Yes, childcare for my daughters, too. I was listening to an item on radio 4 a couple of days ago, discussing Norway, where childcare cost is nominal but they pay much higher taxes. Most women go back to work because they don't face the same restrictions as in the UK.

If childcare was paid for at source by men and women alike, perhaps women would not feel the constant responsibility for shouldering the financial burden of having children cared for before they start school.

I want my daughters to be free of the burden of looking after children and men alike, and for men to see that they should take these responsibilities on, without saying a thing, such as 'I've done X for you!'

,,,,and, I would like to get to another International Women's Day and not write the above, which I could easily have written 30 or 20 or 10 years ago!

fatfairy Thu 08-Mar-12 12:51:29

Agree with all the forgoing about childcare and the burden of care falling on women.
My daughter - about to have her first - intends to go back to work next year, and I hope that she is able to do so. They need her salary - and she needs the challenges she faces at work to help her to grow both emotionally and mentally. And she'll need the daily break from home as well.
Career-minded women who stay at home stand to lose so much in terms of advancement - and, personally, I found work to be more satisfying as I climbed the greasy pole. It also gave me much more to talk about to my very ambitious and successful husband - something else in common, if you like, which helped us to stay together. And importantly, I believe I was an excellent role model for my daughter (that's what she tells me, anyway!).

janepearce6 Thu 08-Mar-12 13:14:45

They are all three of them middle-aged now and they must find their own dreams - I only have reality now - don't be sad for me - it happens to all of us!

Gayle Thu 08-Mar-12 13:30:37

I want my beautiful daughter to be able to experience the joy of motherhood. She has suffered 4 miscarriages and is totally daunted by the 70 page booklet and intrusive experience of adoption. Time David Cameron acted upon his promises.She and her husband would make the most wonderful caring, intelligent,loving, trustworthy,sensible parents.

I hope my grand-daughters from my son will lead happy, fulfilled lives, maybe they will have to leave this country as we are told China will lead the world by 2040.

susiecb Thu 08-Mar-12 14:25:26

I'd like my eldest to stop being such a hypochondriac and get a job and my youngest to get a divorce and marry someone who will look after her properly.

carboncareful Thu 08-Mar-12 16:57:11

carol why do you feel that looking after your own children is a burden? This is sad.
I would like women of the future to feel its OK to stay home and look after their children - and enjoy it without feeling guilty (or bored). Hopefully they will have no more than two children and there will be plenty of time and special entitlements made so that they can pursue a career at another time in their lives. Better still, they should be entitled/encouraged to share childcare with the father(s) of their children. Men should be able, also, to stay home (full or part-time) and enjoy their children's childhood. Only then will we have real equality.

This is about the rights of children too. Which should be paramount. Children should spend their early childhood in a relaxed and caring atmosphere with their family.

JessM Thu 08-Mar-12 17:10:40

My dream for my GD is that she can grow up in a safe world, that she will be able to develop her obvious potential and that false notions of femininity will not curtail or restrict that. Most of all though, to be happy about who she is.

Carol Thu 08-Mar-12 17:20:57

I don't for one minute think looking after your own children is a burden *carbon.' Bit puzzled where that's come from - looking after them is a pleasure. The 'burden' I referred to is financial, not children!

Annobel Thu 08-Mar-12 17:27:28

No daughters, but I hope my granddaughters will make the most of the opportunities they have in life and enjoy it in the process.

GrannySue2010 Thu 08-Mar-12 17:44:23

My wish for my daughter is, like most Mums, for health and happiness. I'm so proud of her many achievements already and hope she finds fulfilment both personally and professionally. In due course I'm looking forward to more grandchildren from her, cousins for our grandson in Brussels! Like our son and daughter-in-law, she and hubby will make wonderful parents. We have been blessed with two wonderful children and hope that they are equally blessed.

wisewoman Thu 08-Mar-12 17:45:23

I have some sympathy with Carboncareful. In all the discussion of "childcare' it is rarely mentioned that those who do work in nurseries etc are often young and very poorly paid. Childcare should be expensive! Surely everyone wants the best for their children! I know this is very controversial and politically incorrect but it is how I feel. Sometimes I watch young nursery staff out in our town with two toddlers each attached to wrist straps or in double buggies while they chat and text and generally behave like teenagers. (Will stand well back for the vitriolic comments!)

carboncareful Thu 08-Mar-12 18:31:26

Yes, of course, they should be professionally trained. Also nannies. I used to talk my grandson to Sure Start things in a very mixed area of London. You could always tell who were moms (stay-at-home; unemployed; one-parent?) and who were nannies - they had a sort of glazed look, staring into space; and rarely joining in. I remember the music session and the nannies would not even bother to drum the drums or whatever. The nannies were looking after (certainly not "caring" for) v rich children (you could tell by the clothes). Probably end up as bankers (suffering from maternal deprivation!)
I think they have abandoned most of these sure start things (for fear the rich will benefit
PS I'm feeling a bit disgruntled today you will gather. One of my grumpy old woman days....

Hankipanki Thu 08-Mar-12 19:30:28

My immediate wish for my daughter is that her daughter, my gd (almost 3) begins to sleep all night. Despite constant tiredness my daughter manages to hold down a demanding job and be a wonderful mum. I am very proud of her. Otherwise she is an adult and her dreams are her own.

For all our daughters I would echo much of what has already been written, better childcare, better choices and a more equal society.

hummingbird Thu 08-Mar-12 20:24:37

My dreams for my darling daughter (and my dear DIL) include the love and security of long and happy marriages; joy in bringing up their children and pleasure in the simple things. I dream that they will enjoy good health, and freedom from fear. I hope that they can feel fulfilled by their lives and cope well with whatever life gives them, and that they can feel a personal sense of control in a crazy world. I want them to always feel loved by their friends and families, and to love in return. Fingers crossed!

kittylester Fri 09-Mar-12 10:31:35

Beautifully put hummingbird but I would include my sons, sons-in-law and grandchildren in that.

For my daughters I would like choice, particularly the choice to become mums and homemakers if that is the right path for them.

hummingbird Fri 09-Mar-12 13:01:58

You're right, kittylester, it is about choice, isn't it? Of course, same for the boys!

carboncareful Fri 09-Mar-12 14:52:56

Another thing to wish: that they do not feel guilty. I think we were brought up to feel guilty about all sorts of things but I'm not sure how genetic it is. Boys/men do not seem to have the same worries.

My daughter always jokes about my guilt. I once famously said, during a pick-your-own strawberry afternoon, that I felt guilty leaving behind the not so perfect strawberries. There was also the time when I admitted that I could not bring myself to eat "baby" sweetcorn. I certainly have no qualms about feeling guilty if food is wasted but perhaps I'm being a bit silly feeling quite so bad when I see other people wasting food.

Charlotta Fri 09-Mar-12 15:09:21

It may sound old fashioned but I would like my daughters always to do the morally correct thing, not to be dishonest or to treat the people in their lives unjustly, dishonestly or with predjudice.

I have not been disappointed with them in this respect up to the present day.

Oxon70 Fri 09-Mar-12 19:31:26

I want my daughter to stay well.

nightowl Sat 10-Mar-12 09:38:31

To be happy, healthy, to love and be loved and to be unafraid. I have been held back from following so many dreams through fear of 'what if...?' I would like her (and her brothers) to take every opportunity that life offers them

janep57 Sun 11-Mar-12 09:31:31

I want the work that women do in our society to be valued as greatly as that done by men. I have always thought that we feminists went the wrong way about things - campaigning for women to be able to do what men do and not for what women have traditionally do to be seen as equally important to the work that men have done. Still the vast amount of the most important unpaid or very lowly paid work is done by women - childcare, looking after those who cannot look after themselves, cleaning, cooking, feeding etc. A decent civilised and fulfilling society needs this work to be done well and yet we give it no or so little value.

If we ever arrived at a point where raising the next generation was seen to be the most important thing we do then perhaps we would take childcare, and who pays for it, seriously; women (and men) would be able to make a real decision about whether to stay at home and look after their own children and have a break from the workplace and those heroic women who work in really difficult situations looking after the elderly and infirm might be valued, paid properly and respected, rather than constantly villified by the press.

I hope for my daughters that they will be happy and fulfilled and I know that they will continue to fight for equality - seems to me we are still a long way off!

kittylester Sun 11-Mar-12 16:26:45

Well said janep57 I am lucky that I have been valued as a mother/wife/homemaker by my family, but I think there is a lot of pressure on young women to go and be 'fulfilled' outside the home. Money also plays an enormous part, obviously.