Buying clothes for grandchildren

I think we should not presume to know what our DD's and DIL's want for their children. They should be allowed to make their own decisions on style. This doesn't stop us helping out as long as it is what they want, which can be done in many ways, as people have suggested. My DD's MIL buys things that are just not my DD's taste and also takes the labels off so they can't be returned. A dreadful waste of money as they are never worn. A pointless exercise. I love buying things for the children, but only under the guidance of my DDs

Oh Magsie, I do so agree!!

I look after my grandchildren for two days a week and on those day I dress them in things of my choice, clothes that are easy to get on and off, such as simple t-shirts and roomy dungarees.

They also have play clothes for the garden (remember those)

By the time their mother gets home they are bathed and in their jammies, so she doesn't know what they have been wearing during the day.

Hi Kitchen

I have 8 grandchildren, but I have long given up buying clothes for them as the parents are so fussy and so the children have become fussy too. I have two granddaughters but am not allowed to buy anything pink (my favourite colour) and more often than not I have seen my presents stuffed at the back of the wardrobe. I suppose if they were hard up they might welcome it a bit more, but the parents like to dress them in certain styles and from certain retailers so I just keep out of the way and beomoan the fact that I can't dress them like little girls!

Fashion changes so fast as they get older - just give them the money!

I always ask for a gift receipt so that I can pop it in with the garment. If the garment fits and is liked, fine, if it doesn't suit they change it themselves.

When I was 13 and very proud of being a teenager, in the 60s, my grandma bought me a pink, lacy, frilly party dress. I was utterly horrified and wanted to die of embarrassment when I had to wear it to a party. Every other girl in a miniskirt, and no boys anywhere near me. Because of that memory, I have always asked the girls what they would like, looked a mail order catalogues with them so that they can make suggestions from which I can later choose, or sometimes the older ones email links to their favourite websites for me to look at.

The boys are still easy, aged 3 and 4, although the elder is currently very keen on green so much prefers it if clothes are that colour.

We had a hard job developing our own style - not sure I've got there yet - all those cast offs we had to wear, so I'm glad the young these days can have a bit of choice.

My daughter bought 3 year old granddaughter some suede boots. When I saw them I said to her they were lovely. She told me that I bought them. When I told her I hadn't bought them she decided that Great Grandma had bought them not her mother.

I do love buying my grandchildren clothes and my daughters and DIL are happy with what I buy. Before I had grandchildren I never looked in a children's clothes shop or toy shop.

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I never have. Am I on my own in this?

If I see something that I think would be suitable for my GC, I take a photo on my phone and text it to DDIL whilst I'm in the shop. I'll buy it if she agrees that it's needed/wanted. This has always worked very well and it means that I get some good bargains that I know won't have to be returned. The last purchase was a new school coat at less than half price in John Lewis and GC wears daily so a winner all round. I also knit for GC a lot but again, ask what it is they they need next and let GC choose colours or buttons etc. That way, they've been involved in it and wait excitedly for it to be finished.

Rarely have I ever bought without parental approval and as they got older I wouldn't dream of trying to buy without them there to try on and choose, yes the surprise element has gone, but the times I ve said 'oh look at that lovely dress/top/ jeans' to get 'oh no I d never wear that' (even though it looks very similar to something I ve seen them in ) so now we have a day out at the nearest city and a meal out with a mass try on whilst I sit twiddling my thumbs like men do with women clothes shopping

I love buying clothes for our Gc but find that I buy mostly for the under 5s as the older ones like to choose their clothes themselves. That said, our 4 year old granddaughter is very particular about her clothes and currently only wears outfits which have a "swooosh" factor( i.e. Tutu-style skirt). The babies are less demanding so Gap, HM Kids, Next,and Jojo Maman Bébé for them. I often also find bargains for them in charity shops!

When in France(often), I find wonderful clothes for them in Monoprix. Also in "puces" or flea markets( but no fleas within)!

Books are constant buys for them all, so easily spend a small fortune monthly on them.

Fortunately my daughter & I have similar tastes so no problems when the the children were small. As they grew up I went with their choices where practical. They were always told by their Mum that she paid for basic clothing, if they wanted anything designer then they had to pay the extra from birthday and Christmas money. This has served them well and they all look out for bargains. Not to say there were not a few upsets along the way of course.

Enjoy buying clothes for GC while they are young. A 14-year-old who wears ripped jeans when out of school uniform wouldn't appreciate granny's taste!Just hand over some cash and close your eyes when she sets off for Primark. Her brother (12) is easier - jeans, tee-shirt and sweat top; or frequently at weekends, pyjamas and dressing gown!

Things I have knitted seem to just disappear as well., whereas things from DiL's mother get worn.
What worries me most are my GD's shoes. They never seem to bother to measure my GD's feet and I offer to buy her shoes when we are all out together. , so DiL has the choice. Last time the measure had gone from 5 to 6, missing out the half size. I also notice GD wears shrunken socks that are a struggle to put on, but DiL seems to think that is OK. I offered to get Wellington boots as she had grown a size, but she just said they seem to fit at the moment. My GD has just one pair of ankle boots to wear all the time. I never say a word, but gosh do I mind!

Just a note for anyone expecting a first grandchild. There are other things you can buy, as clothes may not be needed if your offspring have a lot of friends and other family members. My grandson received enough clothes to kit him out til he is 12 months at least without his parents or me buying him any. As the sizes only last 3 months he seems to appear on my iMessages photos with a brand new outfit every day, all provided by friends and wider family as new baby gifts. Today's only got as far as 9am before it had to go in the way for the usual reasons, but he still has far too many. I have only ever bought one outfit when out with DD as she thought he might be a bit short on the second size, but I doubt he was in the end.

Instead, in addition to a big present of a travel system, I initially bought a lovely fleecy swaddle wrap, which doubled as a rug, a cradle blanket, or a cosy thing to hold him with or lie him on. It was the only thing he would go to sleep on for ages, so it was gratifying to think it was appreciated. At Christmas, instead of clothes, he got a set of weaning equipment, which has now come into its own in daily use.

So, in summary, don't buy clothes for a baby in the first year unless requested to do so, as everyone else will!

I buy stuff our 20mos old DGD can use when she is with us for the day, eg 'play clothes' that I don't mind getting really muddy. Also a pair of pj's and some track bottoms and pullovers if the weather changes during the dayf.

I buy online from LaRedoute which often has sales. Clothes fit well, nicely made and not too expensive.

Lean towards unisex stuff as they are going to have another, so I go for the boy or earth tones vs bright stuff. I leave the girly clothes to DIL as I think mums dress their daughters in a way they would like. (Thinking back to my days when playing dolls LOL!)

Have to say, we are very lucky... she likes being dressed and cooperates which is fantastic, especially when you are trying to wriggle her into a one piece snowsuit.

moobox I agree about clothes for 1st year. When DGS1 was expected DH & I bought quite a lot of clothes for DD as she had no spare money & was really struggling.

Now DGS2 is expected in May things are better financially I have bought little so far but will buy as she needs, my DD loves car boot sales & often gets real bargains.

I don't buy many clothes for DGS1 but the occasional football shirt is always appreciated. I am guided by what DD asks for or I ask her if something is suitable.

moobox So true. In the first year we just gave mum gift vouchers for a couple of places I knew she shopped so she could choose.

I'm like you Harrigran, always include the gift receipt in case the size is wrong or they don't like them - I know they're a gift but I don't expect anyone to wear something they don't like just because I've chosen it. In fact very little has been changed over the years. Christmas always means undies & pjs, jeans and a jumper for the boys, a dress and tights for the only girl - then lots of books and some games. I sometimes feel like the boring Nanny but know none of the parents want tons of rubbish - even if the children would!

We used to look after DGD (age 3) a lot so I did buy clothes to have spares here. Mostly inexpensive things from Asda or the likes.
The one thing I did buy which was expensive actually has been a popular choice and does get worn ... wee one chooses her clothes for the day!

My DGDs stay with me every weekend so I buy clothes that they keep at my house. Now that they are 11 and 9 we spend time looking online to decide what they like before I buy. I do also buy when I see something nice when I'm out but do stick with the styles they like. Their mother is happy that I fund most of their clothes so is happy with any styles.

Oh Magsie! That made me chuckle. I know exactly what you mean!!

Gosh, this was a huge learning curve for me and I think I was very guilty of selfishly buying what I would like to see them in. I had such pleasure from those purchases. In my defence, I NEVER 'expected' to see the items being worn (maybe just kinda hoped?). I think I had this ridiculous notion that since I was paying no-one was suffering. Wrong! I have completely different ideas from son's partner in that arena. I now defer to her completely and ask if there's anything specific the children need. I don't often like the way they're dressed but - who cares - I love what's inside the wrapping. A learning curve indeed this grandparenting but wouldn't change it for the world.