Are you happy in your own skin?

After plummeting from a comfy size 12 to a size 8 through the betrayal of my husband I would gladly swap places with any of you just to be happy again. I have looked after myself well, eating nourishing foods and enjoying a more than frequent gin and tonic and several squares of chocolate, but obviously my anxiety has played it's part. However the one thing I did do for myself to help dissipate the anxiety was frequent the gym several times a week. I do this as the classes require my full concentration, especially the dance based ones and I need the social contact at a time when I feel very isolated and lonely. I am counting my blessings now, as I realise that in spite of everything I still have my physical health and fitness at 66. I have the body of a teenager, but unfortunately the face of an old hag so I think I will just have to stop using my magnifying mirror.

Oh dancingfeet, you've taken control of your life at a time when it must be so difficult to do so. You said you're counting your blessings and that's probably quite hard to do at times, especially when you're feeling lonely. I hope that soon, you will turn the corner and the sun will be shining for you.

I had weighed the same from 20 yrs old until 55 yrs then it started creeping up on me and now I'm stuck at 160lbs ( don't know how many stone). I need to get out and walk, have no excuse as I live in the country. I do rationalize by thinking nobody wants a skinny G-ma, you need a nice comfy lap and a nice soft chest to get a really good snuggle. Do I wish I weighed less? Yes but I don't worry about it, life is too short!

I'm like absentgrana so my short answer to the thread question is yes. I come from a family of anorexics — at least three generations of anorexic women! (fortunately it didn't affect me) — and I find excessive thinness much more disturbing than a bit of podge which, after all, is natural as you get older. Elaine Morgan has some interesting things to say about it in one of her books. I forget which one but I suspect it is The Descent of Woman. Paraphrasing what I remember, I think she was saying that a little extra fat as women age helps keep the hormone balance after the menopause. It is an excellent book but my two favourites of hers are The Aquatic Ape Hypothesis and The Descent of the Child and I would recommend them both absolutely wholeheartedly and unreservedly.

Hello, greenmossgiel, I've just caught up with this interesting discussion. During my lifetime I've seen so many friends living in misery because they weren't the shape dictated by the fashion of the day. I weighed less than 8 stone when I first married, at age 20, have gone up and down (because of pregnancies and illness) and now (at 73) am becoming alarmingly apple-shaped. It only alarms me because it's supposed to be unhealthy, but I have never been either willing or able to stick to a diet. I just try to eat healthily. What maddens me is that during interviews well-known women (and indeed readers of women's magazines) are invariably asked "what part of your body do you hate most?" How stupid can you get? I have lived in my body for a long time; it has functioned well for most of the time, and I ask no more than that of it.
Tell you what, though - forget the gym and have a lot of sex; it does you a power of good!

Yes, I know what you mean, Sussexpoet. I've never been able to stick to a diet either - and I just couldn't see me in a gym!!! We walk lots - not exactly hiking, more wandering, really. Lots of sex is just about as good as a long walk (as long as it doesn't take place in public while you're out on the walk, though!)

I am extremely happy in my own skin and have been in all my latter years. Advancing age does not concern me and I don't spend long hours beautifying myself or exercising. One of the big"0" brirthdays is coming up soon and I'm not the least bit bothered My complexion is quite good but has had very scant care. I've never worn alot of make up and don't use soap on my face too often - just plain warm water.
When grey hairs first started to appear I did add a rinse to my hair in an attempt to blend them in. I found this helped when applying for jobs, with the addition of a little white lie about my age. On giving up work I let the grey take over. I just don't want to waste time and money on it. I'm really happy with the way it is.
Why do we battle hard against what we are??
My one problem is that I'm apple shaped as sussexpoet puts it. This only cocerns me vaguely because I know it's not healthy. I am an out and out foodie, simply appreciating everthing I eat. I do try to limit my portions though

Good for you gangy5. I can't bear this whining about being 60 or 70. What matters is how many years you've still got and nobody knows that. My parents died young so I am pleased to have lived longer than they did.
I don't spend too much time in front of the mirror, I'm 15 kilos heavier than I was at 30 but that is blessing as an illness can rob you of a lot of weight very quickly. Clothes are not so much of a problem as I learned to sew at 14 and have kept going on the sewing machine since. I sometimes buy what I like in a bigger size and alter it to my requirements. I still wear jeans, after all we are the generation that wore jeans. If the young don't like it they should invent something of their own.
If I am a particular shape then it is pear shape but I just don't believe that apple shape is unhealthy.I intend to keep moving, to keep running up and down stairs, I won't move into a bungalow or give up the garden. Then it doesn't matter which shape you are.

expatmaggie I enjoy the company of people who are happy to be themselves. Can there be anyone more boring and therefore less attractive than the person who is constantly whinging about his or her looks?
It is true that beauty comes from deep within a person, regardless of age,shape, stature or status.

*super said* supernana What is the point of striving to be what we can't. Thanks expatmaggie for having the same feelings!! We are happy in the knowing that we're never going to look like models in a magazine.

Nicely put expatmaggie. I've had 3 major relationships in my life - 7yrs, 7 yrs and 9yrs, and at the age of 53 I've just started a new one. Some days I feel as old as buggery but then I realise that forward is the way to look, not backward.

To be honest I didn't start off beautiful. I think it is the very pretty women who panic when their looks begin to fade. I did go on diets to keep slim like every body else but there comes a time in your life when your health is more important and a good all round diet includes meat and fats, at least it does in my book.
Good for you PoppaRob. Good luck.

Have been reading the article reporting the fisty-cuffs between two of the Marquess of Bath's wagon-load of wifelets. In the line-up of beauties, almost all appear to have plastic puppet-like expressions - PoppaRob I met my husband through Dateline. He described himself as - "almost bald, baggy-eyed, poorish, thoughtful and funny..." I liked him from the moment we met. And, after many years of marriage, he's totally bald, even more baggy-eyed, still poorish...and quite the best and most loveable husband that any woman could wish for. I assure you that the best is yet to come. Happy days!

'Grow old with me.....the best is yet to be'. (for supernana)

greenmossgiel your has made my day

My pleasure!

Thanks for the words of encouragement! We had a good laugh the other day that fits the subject of this thread... sort of.

We were talking about initial physical attraction and how once you get past that (or can look past that) you see the real person as a whole. My girlfriend was trying to say that looks were not all that important, but what she said was "I've never gone out with good looking men!" The second the words left her mouth she was stumbling through her apology and with every word digging herself into a deeper hole!

Foot and mouth disease, I suffer from that PoppaRob. My husband said he knew what I was thinking about him and instead of saying i'm not thinking about you .. I said I don't think anything about you. You just have to stop digging before the hole swallows you !

Sussexpoet I have to confess to a moment of envy when I misread your name as Sussexpot!

Grannyactivist: I am actually called a sexpot by my partner! (I'm nearly 74)
But you can have fun misreading things: during a journey today I saw a board outside a farm advertising, or so I thought, "freelance pork" I'm not sure that I hadn't misread an ad for free range pork, but I do like the idea of freelance pigs roaming around Sussex. Quite a few of my poems are based on things I've misheard or misread; I tend to view life at a tangent.

Those freerange eggs that appear on menus - conjures up an interesting image...
Along with the freerange bacon...
Can't help feeling sorry for the battered cod and a just a teeny bit envious of the stoned dates.

I don't feel really happy with the way I look. This is due to the steroids I take which have made me like mitchelin man.

I was always active and my daughters said I was more fashionable than them now I struggle to find something I like that fits.

However, I think that we need to put things into perspective. Many people who are overweight admit they love food and that is the cause of their weight problem. We are told diet and exercise is the way to go, I think just taking everything in moderation is best. You can eat what you like in moderation, take exercise in moderation; eating a pack of mars bars then going on a run for an hour or two is not going to shift that excess.

As I am not able to exercise - going to the gym, running, aerobics etc I have to do some sort of exercise/physio with my husband's help. I do walk a little but not to the extent that is suggested.

No one need pay out gym membership (of course if you want to that is fine) walking, housework etc is just as good.

Hoovering burns 193 calories an hour, as does mopping floors, dusting 173 calories an hour and the dreaded ironing 113 calories an hour. Play some of your favourite music and get hoovering, mopping, dusting and even ironing! My daughter does her ironing while catching up on television programmes.

BurgundyGran...you care about your appearance. A lot of people seem not to. You have, unfortunately, to take steroids, and it is the tablets, not you, that is the cause of your weight increase. You make the effort to do your best in difficult circumstances. Enjoy life. I salute you. You are to be admired.

oh I wish Id looked after my teeth, I just hate them now, e veryone seems to have such glossy white even teeth mine are just embarrassing, now I have an abcess under a tooth and if the dentist takes it out I shall be gappy omg

Ive always been over weight (about a stone).Now im 62 ive developed diabetes so ive had to lose 1 half stone im now really slim but im missing those cakes ,its not fare i dont smoke or drink.I should feel good being nice and slim but i was happier fatter .[cupcakes]