Are you happy in your own skin?

To be honest I didn't start off beautiful. I think it is the very pretty women who panic when their looks begin to fade. I did go on diets to keep slim like every body else but there comes a time in your life when your health is more important and a good all round diet includes meat and fats, at least it does in my book.
Good for you PoppaRob. Good luck.

Nicely put expatmaggie. I've had 3 major relationships in my life - 7yrs, 7 yrs and 9yrs, and at the age of 53 I've just started a new one. Some days I feel as old as buggery but then I realise that forward is the way to look, not backward.

*super said* supernana What is the point of striving to be what we can't. Thanks expatmaggie for having the same feelings!! We are happy in the knowing that we're never going to look like models in a magazine.

expatmaggie I enjoy the company of people who are happy to be themselves. Can there be anyone more boring and therefore less attractive than the person who is constantly whinging about his or her looks?
It is true that beauty comes from deep within a person, regardless of age,shape, stature or status.

Good for you gangy5. I can't bear this whining about being 60 or 70. What matters is how many years you've still got and nobody knows that. My parents died young so I am pleased to have lived longer than they did.
I don't spend too much time in front of the mirror, I'm 15 kilos heavier than I was at 30 but that is blessing as an illness can rob you of a lot of weight very quickly. Clothes are not so much of a problem as I learned to sew at 14 and have kept going on the sewing machine since. I sometimes buy what I like in a bigger size and alter it to my requirements. I still wear jeans, after all we are the generation that wore jeans. If the young don't like it they should invent something of their own.
If I am a particular shape then it is pear shape but I just don't believe that apple shape is unhealthy.I intend to keep moving, to keep running up and down stairs, I won't move into a bungalow or give up the garden. Then it doesn't matter which shape you are.

I am extremely happy in my own skin and have been in all my latter years. Advancing age does not concern me and I don't spend long hours beautifying myself or exercising. One of the big"0" brirthdays is coming up soon and I'm not the least bit bothered My complexion is quite good but has had very scant care. I've never worn alot of make up and don't use soap on my face too often - just plain warm water.
When grey hairs first started to appear I did add a rinse to my hair in an attempt to blend them in. I found this helped when applying for jobs, with the addition of a little white lie about my age. On giving up work I let the grey take over. I just don't want to waste time and money on it. I'm really happy with the way it is.
Why do we battle hard against what we are??
My one problem is that I'm apple shaped as sussexpoet puts it. This only cocerns me vaguely because I know it's not healthy. I am an out and out foodie, simply appreciating everthing I eat. I do try to limit my portions though

Yes, I know what you mean, Sussexpoet. I've never been able to stick to a diet either - and I just couldn't see me in a gym!!! We walk lots - not exactly hiking, more wandering, really. Lots of sex is just about as good as a long walk (as long as it doesn't take place in public while you're out on the walk, though!)

Hello, greenmossgiel, I've just caught up with this interesting discussion. During my lifetime I've seen so many friends living in misery because they weren't the shape dictated by the fashion of the day. I weighed less than 8 stone when I first married, at age 20, have gone up and down (because of pregnancies and illness) and now (at 73) am becoming alarmingly apple-shaped. It only alarms me because it's supposed to be unhealthy, but I have never been either willing or able to stick to a diet. I just try to eat healthily. What maddens me is that during interviews well-known women (and indeed readers of women's magazines) are invariably asked "what part of your body do you hate most?" How stupid can you get? I have lived in my body for a long time; it has functioned well for most of the time, and I ask no more than that of it.
Tell you what, though - forget the gym and have a lot of sex; it does you a power of good!

I'm like absentgrana so my short answer to the thread question is yes. I come from a family of anorexics — at least three generations of anorexic women! (fortunately it didn't affect me) — and I find excessive thinness much more disturbing than a bit of podge which, after all, is natural as you get older. Elaine Morgan has some interesting things to say about it in one of her books. I forget which one but I suspect it is The Descent of Woman. Paraphrasing what I remember, I think she was saying that a little extra fat as women age helps keep the hormone balance after the menopause. It is an excellent book but my two favourites of hers are The Aquatic Ape Hypothesis and The Descent of the Child and I would recommend them both absolutely wholeheartedly and unreservedly.

I had weighed the same from 20 yrs old until 55 yrs then it started creeping up on me and now I'm stuck at 160lbs ( don't know how many stone). I need to get out and walk, have no excuse as I live in the country. I do rationalize by thinking nobody wants a skinny G-ma, you need a nice comfy lap and a nice soft chest to get a really good snuggle. Do I wish I weighed less? Yes but I don't worry about it, life is too short!

Oh dancingfeet, you've taken control of your life at a time when it must be so difficult to do so. You said you're counting your blessings and that's probably quite hard to do at times, especially when you're feeling lonely. I hope that soon, you will turn the corner and the sun will be shining for you.

After plummeting from a comfy size 12 to a size 8 through the betrayal of my husband I would gladly swap places with any of you just to be happy again. I have looked after myself well, eating nourishing foods and enjoying a more than frequent gin and tonic and several squares of chocolate, but obviously my anxiety has played it's part. However the one thing I did do for myself to help dissipate the anxiety was frequent the gym several times a week. I do this as the classes require my full concentration, especially the dance based ones and I need the social contact at a time when I feel very isolated and lonely. I am counting my blessings now, as I realise that in spite of everything I still have my physical health and fitness at 66. I have the body of a teenager, but unfortunately the face of an old hag so I think I will just have to stop using my magnifying mirror.

I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. 62, blonde (with a little help of course!), 5’10”, and 10 and a half stone now. However, up to age 30, I was around 8 and a half stone, had my son at 30, only put on 20lbs, and lost it in 2 weeks after he was born. At age 40ish things started catching up with me. Up until then I’d been able to eat like a horse and not put on a pound but then I had a hysterectomy, had to go on HRT, and that’s when the weight started creeping up. My husband tells me I’m still beautiful (I was, I was) but I’m not sure what he’s seeing! Bless him, after 34 years together he’s still wearing the rose-tinted specs, for which I am truly grateful. I look at myself sometimes and think where have the years gone, and why do women have to go through this but I’m lucky – I’m healthy (touch wood quickly), and fit. I have no mother to look at to compare myself with as she died when I was 30 (at age 56) but so far, I don’t really look my age so here’s to a glass of red wine daily and 25g of dark chocolate, and loving and being loved.

Gagagran Its like visiting the Drs with a chesty cough and being told to stop smoking, I have never smoked in my life!!!!!

Hello everyone - just joined this great site and find all the comments re diet, weight etc very interesting. Like most others I have been on and off diets all my life. The really depressing thing is knowing that it never lets up - to keep slim you always have to plan and watch what you eat. It does feel like a sort of punishment regime. I have hypothyroidism and have to take daily thyroxine and I had hoped that this would help me lose weight. No such luck - I continue in the family tradition of solid, broad shouldered "big women" and would love to be an 8 stone size 8 or 10 or 12 or even 14!! ( I also hate going to the Drs- even if you have a sore finger they blame it on your weight!)

greenmossgiel - On all photos of me since I was a wee baby, my knees have deepest dimples...and - they are still with me. Cute!

Mollie - I do so agree about resenting the way I have to monitor everything I eat. I remember a time in my youth when I worked in London, lunch each day was a Mars bar and supper was a sausage and chips (due to spending all my cash on clothes not having much money). If I did that now I'd be soooo unhealthy. I did find WW and found it great for losing weight, but I disliked their reliance on 'diet' foods and no longer do those. I know that if I eat plenty of fresh veg, and avoid or have small potions of sugary/fatty foods I can keep my weight pretty stable. I am lucky that if we go out my OH will always let me dip a spoon in his pud and I savour every mouthful!

I hit my top weight about 2 years ago after almost 50 years of eating emotionally and opting for comfort food rather than healthy food. I am the family shape (just look at the family photos for evidence) so I told myself I couldn't buck the trend and pretended not to care. But I'd be lying if I said I was entirely happy in my own skin...I've shed a stone and a bit gradually over the last year or so and feel better for it, the last half stone in the last few weeks thanks to weightwatchers. But I'm miserable at having to watch every single mouthful, counting points and 'adjusting' my favourite recipes...it feels like a punishment. I'm not aiming for skinny, just a bit trimmer, but I know that if I don't monitor my weight and how I eat I am likely to pile back on what little I've lost but I resent it. I would love to make peace with my self-image and with food - is it possible?

Knees? what do they look like?

I know what you mean about 'knees', MrsJamJam - I'm getting a dodgy one, now! I wouldn't like to take it to the doctor, either. He's quite attractive and my knee is a bit on the podgy side....!

I was 8st 2 once. Long, long ago. Sigh!

I'm deffo not saying what I weigh now. (what happened???!)

I spent most of my 30's worrying about trying to get back to a size 10 from the 12 I had crept to, then my 40's trying to get back from a 14 to a 12. Its taken me until now to feel more relaxed and I'm happy if the clothes I like look good and make me feel good. Now I'm in my 60's I realises that if i went back to the 7 stone I was when I first got married I would look utterly haggard.

My grandma (a wise woman!) always said it was better to keep your face than your figure. Just sit down and smile - everyone will tell you how good you look!

But I also know that if I take the arthritic knees to the teenage GP she'll just say 'you need to lose weight'!

My body`s been protesting for years, I turn a deaf ear to it, wrongly, I know. And SoNanny, I`d LOVE to be a size 16, I`m 5`1" and a size 22/24!

absentgrana's comments are very sensible, aren't they? Surely the best way to go about things is to listen to what your body's saying to you? When it starts to protest, then an agreement can be made!

I'm not really happy in my own skin which I feel guilty about. As a retired nurse I witnessed many tragedies which made me want to savour and bless each day realising how lucky I was. However, being human I also hate being size 16 and only 5' 2"!! I have a farly healthy diet but do like my wine and life is defo too short to abandon the grape.
My guilt also incorporates all the medical advice about being apple shaped....bad for the heart...overweight, bad for the joints etc etc. I try and aim for everything in moderation!! And, like numberplease, ignore the mirror!