What were you like at school........?

Caning doesn't and didn't work. Hitting children, whether you lash out at your own dear offspring, slap a leg or whether it's done officially with a punishment book and a cane of the right size, is an admission of failure and frustration. My dear mother, who frequently slapped me, used to say it might not have done me any good but it made her feel better.

I went to a very funny and outdated little school. It was attached to a large Catholic church and the wrath of God or the priest was more frightening than the strap or cane, although the cane was something even we girls got. However it was the boys who usually ended up with six of the best. I remember being terrified of everything at school, being bullied was a way of life and the teachers seemed unsympathetic and harsh. Of course there were student teachers on occasion who would be nice and gave out sweets at the end of their stint.
I remember having to go to the priest for confession and didn't know what to confess so made up sins like , I have been cheeky or rude to my mother but of course I didn't dare be rude to anyone.
When I got to 15 I left school and went to work believing that every school was the same.
In some way I think being there did me good in terms of discipline but rubbish in terms of education. I spent most of my youth in further education to move on in the world of work.

I never really got into trouble at school.
When I started secondary school I befriended a girl at the school.
She was in another class and I only knew her first name.
I think it was the second day and the headmistress sent for me.
I did not really know her and at first I thought she had the wrong person.
When I got to her office I found out that girl was her daughter. There were no problems and I was around at her house a few days later.
One thing I can remember was the headmistress saying goodbye to every other leaver but she did not say goodbye to me.
That girl later became my wife.
Sadly my wife passed away before my mother in law with cancer and towards the end I had to take her to several hospital appointments.
Several times she did say she was the headmistress of my school and in most cases the nurses would say something like I must have been perfect child to become the son in law of the headmistress.
She would then laugh and say she had to give me a life time detention.

Frank

That is so sweet, Frank. She obviously knew there was no need to say "Goodbye" to you as you were going to be sticking around!
How many years did you have together?

Nuns, processions, Aylesford rosary walk every year, the red catochism,
(not sure of the spelling) school dinners, the headmaster, horrible teachers. Not sure I enjoyed school very much, luckily I have a good sense of humour.

I'm afraid I was a little tall loner who was no good at games, very studious and rather sad. I didn't blossom until university when I felt in my right environment.

Hi Gracesmum

I knew my wife for 43 years and we were married for 29 years.
My mother in law outlived my wife by 5 years. She remained as part of our family. She had no close blood relatives.
She was mentally alert for all her life but became a bit physically disabled. She did not really have any permanent health problems. It was just one problem after another.
We did our best to look after her.

I did find it strange on times when older people said I would get over the death of my wife and they have been married for say 50 years and wonder how they will get over their loss.
They also say I will easily get somebody else.
I have asked them how long they has known their late wife for and answers come out like 52 years.

Even though I was younger I really think the time we had been together really counted and 43 years is not that much different to 52 when it had been a good togetherness.
I am saying togetherness rather than marriage as I think the marriage only really rubber stamped our love for each other.
I do wish I could get my wife back but at least I have 2 loverly daughters and 3 granddaughters with another on the way and 2 sons in law.
I feel they are my family and do not wish to get married again.

Frank

43 togetherness years is not at all bad, Frank and in any case it's the quality of a marriage that counts, not just the length isn't it? 29 years sounds OK to me.

Hi gracesmum

29 years was ok but I really wish it could have been 60+ like a few members of the wider family.
We do not know of any divorces within our family.
In 2001 there were 12 50th wedding aniversaries in the wider family.
Some of these were due to people becoming relatives through subsequent marriages.
As there were so many we had to hold a joint celebration.
A few of the people who were celebrating their 50th aniversary said in some ways it did not seem so special but they did say the fact that all those marriages survived was far more important.

Frank

Mine was for36 years and I wish it had been longer.

Hi Galen

I was no good at games so the headmistress sent me and a few other boys to do Keep Fit with the girls.
I am not sure if she thought of the consequences.
They have moved to various parts of the country but I am in occasional contact with all but one of them from my year and they are still doing things like aerobics or bums and tums 52 years later.
Another strange thing is none of us had a son and so far we have all only had granddaughters.

Frank

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