This made me laugh.......

Sbagram Very funny.

brilliant page. laugh out loud stuff

Love it, *Sbagran!

Once upon a time there were three balloons – Mummy Balloon, Daddy Balloon and Baby Balloon.
One night Baby Balloon had a very bad dream and crept into his Mummy and Daddy’s bed. He snuggled down between his Mummy and Daddy and all was well.
Baby Balloon did this every time he had a bad dream (and sometimes even when he hadn’t)
Eventually Daddy Balloon told him that it was time he grew up, became a big boy and stayed in his own bed. Baby Balloon wasn’t very happy about this but tried his best to be ‘grown up’

One night however, he had another bad dream and decided that he had to creep into his Mummy and Daddy’s bed. He crept in and tried to snuggle down between Mummy and Daddy. However, he had actually grown a bit and it was a bit of a tight squeeze. He was a bit worried that squashing into the bed would wake his Mummy and Daddy, they would be cross would send him back to his own bed.

He decided he had to do something to given them all a little more room so very, very, gently he let a little bit of air out of Mummy Balloon without waking her.

It was still a bit of a squeeze so Baby Balloon very, very, gently let a little bit of air out of Daddy Balloon without waking him.

It was still a bit of a squeeze so very, very, gently he let a little bit of air out of himself.

The next morning Mummy Balloon, Daddy Balloon and Baby Balloon all woke up and Baby Balloon was in big trouble.

His Daddy shouted at him …………………….

Wait for it …………………….

Wait for it ……………………..

Wait for it ……………………..

“Baby Balloon, you let me down, you let your Mummy down and worst of all – you let yourself down”

annika

conjunctivitis.com now thats a sight for sore eyes

rosie

Boy asks his granny "have you seen my pills labelled LSD?"

Granny replies, "stuff the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

glass . I see this lot using the roads round here every day. Worryingly, I might be one of them... soon.

glass - they were my mum!!!!

glass
They must all live near me!

A group of OAP's were sitting around talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have become so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.
"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.
"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God we can all still drive"

mishap

mishap

I loved the Yorkshire ones too (you have to say them aloud to get the full effect) and I'm originally from there too numberplease and was there at the weekend visiting my dad.

Love the Yorkshire ones, I originated in Barnsley!

Love the one about the little girl and the builders!

Mishap
I bet Tena have increased turnover since GN started, I make sure I visit loo before reading this made me laugh

Apologies to Yorkshire gransnetters!

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi us."
......................................................................................

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to
have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"
.....................................................................................

Bloke from Barnsley with piles at chemist.
Yorkshireman: "Nah then, lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
.....................................................................................

Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "E by gum".

Bloke went into a fish shop & asked for a goldfish, the owner said..would you like an aquarium..the bloke said ...I dont care what star sign he is..boom, boom.

This is the best one yet.

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks

'No, I can remember it..'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it? He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'I told you you should have written it down. You have forgotten the toast'

Brilliant!

This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a
group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm
your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human
race.....................

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a
gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,
more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They
chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch
breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled
her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a
pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took
her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the
bank the next day to open a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little
girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she
had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and
Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the
house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so. Provided those w****rs at Jewsons deliver the f***ing
bricks on time.'

glass Love it!