Children and babies at weddings.

I think it depends on the style and size of the wedding. Also the venue. It may be a small venue and if you add a number of children, that reduces space for more friends and family plus the related costs. I think you have to balance the pros and cons. After all, young children will probably be bored at a very formal wedding.

I think the problem arises, dorset, because it is the wedding party at which children are not required. Actual wedding ceremonies are public, are they not? I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, my point is that if a couple want an adult party after their wedding, that's their choice.

When I got married I said no children too. Slightly different times, we were married in church and then travelled to reception. I was working on a children's ward and my day was going to be child-free for just once.

granjura - succinctly put and I agree with everything you've written.

FeeTee I feel like you that it is the couples' choice. One I do not understand, as weddings should be family occasions, but not for us to say.

Our eldest and future sil asked me to organise their wedding - as they were abroad beforehand- but I did everything how THEY wanted it, not me.
I've had many friends who said a wedding was for the whole family, and as they were paying for it- they had to have a big influence on what happens, however I disagree. It is THEIR wedding - their choice (within reason eg, within a pre-agreed budget + a bit 'ish').

Our second daughters wedding was organised as a team- very different to the first one- but again, following daughter's and sil's wishes.

Oh dear, I fear I am about to put the cat amongst the pigeons! My opinion is that it's the couple's choice. Every wedding is different - in size, in style, in atmosphere (and of course budget) - and while some would be perfect with small children running around, others would be ruined. It's all down to the venue and the plans the couple have made. For example one of my DDs had a daytime wedding in the countryside - loads of outside space and the children could run in and out quite happily and it all worked perfectly. My other DD chose a more 'grown up' occasion - late afternoon ceremony and evening 'do' in a museum type setting and asked people not to bring their children (apart from babies). Both weddings were absolutely wonderful and no one seemed put out as it was clear from the invitation what sort of party it was going to be. (I don't think any of their friends would have expected to take toddlers etc to a late night drinks party and essentially this is what the second occasion was)

Sometimes the bride and groom have just decided that they don't want children 'spoiling' their big day. I know that probably sounds ridiculous and selfish to most of us, but I have been to one wedding like that - the bride to be was quite open about it and was sorry if it put people out, but she wanted her day to be dignified and child-free! (Needless to say, she had none of her own...)

I agree with you dorsetpennt, surely weddings are family ocassions where space allows.