Wet Bank Holiday? At least we are under no illusion!!!

whenim64 - yes she is on her medication, but she is insisting on taking about half of her stuff with her - leaving most of her furniture!
As far as references are concerned it seems that our friend in Scotland is just doing it all on trust and in any case X would not be able to provide references, we think she is intending not to pay her last months rent - so landlord is out she doesn't work so not sure where they would come from.

JessM I can understand where you are coming from but our friend is a widow with severe arthritus, so risk assessments etc would not be on her horizon.. We suspect that she is looking for a companion. And although we know her from working with her that was 10 years ago and she is only in contact through our friend with the problems.

I think really on reflection she will have to be told and at the very least perhaps be able to safeguard herself financially somehow

Don't you think your friend in Scotland will be hurt if you fail to tell her about X's problems? For the sake of your friendship, a quiet word would seem to be in order.

Goodness me! "Generous" is not the word I would use about the friend in Scotland. What an extraordinary thing to do for a friend you haven't seen for 10 years.
I suspect that, given their presumably low level of (non existent) risk assessment, even if you wrote to them and said something like "I'd advise you to get a proper tenancy agreement" then they would ignore your advice.
I think you are just going to have to let this one play out in far away Scotland, out of your control or influence.

whitewave, I think it's only fair to tell the friend whose flat Friend X will be renting of at least some of the problems. Of course you will have to tell Friend X you intend to do this - surely she will see, now that she's been sober for some while, that this is the right thing to do? It might even help her to continue taking charge of her life if everything is out in the open.

whitewave will your friend x disclose this information about herself with your support? I think if I was offering accommodation and relying on someone paying a rent equivalent to my mortgage I would need references, and it sounds like your friend will not need to provide any. I can't help feeling for the unsuspecting friend and how she might react if things get out of hand.

Of course, if she is stable and continuing to take medication (if she is on any), and is committed to remaining sober and to moderate her hoarding impulses, then she would not need to disclose anything - what's your take on things?

Just got back from an exhausting day helping a friend call her X who is moving to Scotland. There is a group of us ladies who lunch and the friend who is moving to Scotland is bipolar and alcholic, although has been dry for the last 6 months. One of the symptoms of her bipolar seems to be a cumpulsion to spend and her flat has to be seen to be believed. We have now spent a total of 6 days and still more to go trying to clear it by car booting /charity /dumping brand new stuff that she has bought over a number of years as a consequence owing thousands of pounds. She even has freezers stuffed full of organic meat purchased at enormous expense which will never be eaten. She had hinted at this , but we had no idea until she asked for our help how bad it was/is.She is moving to be near another friend of ours, who she hasn't seen for 10 years and who is providing her with a flat which she has purchased. It is planned that our bipolar friend will pay this friend the equivalent in morgage. Now our dilemma is do we warn this very generous friend of X's severe problems? We all think that at the very least X needs help with her money problems as her debt which we think she is hoping to leave behind, will almost certainly start building again. X has no family.

Grans got any wisdom to impart?

Hello again whitewave
Getting used to using this site now albeit a little slow in responding. At first it felt like inviting yourself to a party where you didn't know anyone but the more I post the more I feel I'm getting to know people!
We bought our house in Portugal (just north of Lisbon) in 2005 after hubby and I retired. Daughter (only child) was a career girl whom we seldom saw up until getting married and having darling grandson in 2010. At this point we returned to UK to help out with the initial childcare as by this time daughter had left global job and started her own business.
Since then we have been waiting for the right time to leave and go back to Portugal. How hard this is turning out to be as every time we feel that daughter and son in law are more financially secure something crops up and puts everything back on hold. I love my grandson dearly but also miss our lovely house and laid back life in Portugal.
Meanwhile - am writing under the grey skies of London.
P's good luck with the wheels.

The weather was terrible here, freezing cold and wet. Went to a garden centre to get lavender plants and got chilled to the bone.
Needless to say I did not put the plants into pots, they can wait until tomorrow when it promises to be a bit warmer.

b
Barbara That play was the highlight of this miserable wet day. What a gentle delightful chAracter John Le Mesurier was, a weak man but lovely. The rest of the afternoon was spent visiting my step-Mother in hospital, it's now a week after her heart surgery, and they are trying to get rid of a lung infection.

If you can't find Freecycle, look for Freegle, for some reason in our area they changes it's name.

Bags

haven't heard of Freecycle thanks will give it a go

Second hand pram, whitewave? Have you tried Freecycle?

netgran

Yes we have looked at some recycling places and on line - but they are SO expensive just have to keep looking I suppose.

Boys have been and gone - sat in the cart and had their photos taken! without wheels.

Portugal sounds divine how long have you lived there?

Hi whitewave
The acting was superb and the plot kept me thinking that Brody was innocent one minute then guilty the next. I didn't know there was a second series planned so was expecting an explosive ending!
Sorry to hear you had to give up on the caravaning - ours is a little bolt hole we come to every weekend as we live with our daughter and son in law during the week looking after grandson (central London) our permanent residence is in Portugal - oh how I miss the weather.
Hope you have some luck with the wheels - hubby says they used to use old pram wheels. Maybe a trip to the local recycling plant (just a thought) or you could pinch a supermarket trolley
Looking forward to next series as truth will out and Carrie will get the justified recognition for being right about the assassination attempt all along.
Have a good day with your family

The sun has made an appearance and the clouds are few - by 4.45pm on Bank Holiday Monday - too late for a decent walk, garden still wet from all the rain this weekend - I could scream!!!

nanachrissy take things easy, put your feet up, be kind to yourself, hope you feel much better soon lots of (((hugs))) to you.

nanachrissy It's time to be good to yourself. Feet up...blanket over knees...soothing music...close eyes. May the rest of the year be so much kinder to you. ((hugs))

They're right, chrissie! I always think my migraines come when I've been under pressure and then relax. Mind you, if I drink red wine it happens too...

Just heard a really lovely play on Radio 4 about John le Mesurier and the cast of Dad's Army. Now the sun has come out .... into the garden to plant out some lilies of the valley someone has given me.

I'm not surprised that you just let go after all the stress you've been under, chrissy. You must be feeling pretty awful at the moment, so please treat yourself kindly and take your time getting back into the swing - it can wait for you.

Thank you Anagram and whitewave, I do feel a little lost now and then but I've got good friends and family who keep checking up on me!
It is nice not to have to do anything, and I'm sure I'll soon get back in the swing of things!

nanachrissy

not surprised at how you are feeling - you seem to have had a lot to deal with lately? Still DD on side now must be good. Be kind to yourself for a few days and hopefully you will recover.

Poor you, nanachrissy! Take if easy - hope you feel better soon

netgran

I also meant to say that we used to have a caravan - gave up due to DH's back - but I so loved it and miss it very much DD is going to look at a potential replacement for hers this afternnon before dropping in with DGS's - they want to look at the go-cart Grandad is making them - we are having terrible trouble finding wheels!

Having taken my eleventh migraine tablet in eleven days, I am in a sorry state! Feeling very dithery and a tad weepy, so lurking on the sofa while catching up on 3 days of Gnet.
All self inflicted, as last week I got a bit out of control and giddy! After dad's funeral and making up with dd, I was so relieved it was all over and just went mad, eating and drinking the wrong things and making head worse by the minute!
Now it's payback time
Ah well, I'm only human!