Thank You Teacher

My first job was in a direct grant school - since privatised - and some naughty boys in one of my classes brought me a Christmas present: a gift-wrapped strap; this was Scotland after all. They knew I didn't have one and they also knew I didn't like corporal punishment. They did their very best to make me use it but however much I might have been tempted, I never did.

When I taught in what were then Direct Grant schools we were not allowed to accept presents. A good thing too.

My daughter teaches in a private school but has never had more than chocolates, flowers/plants, bath accessories, scarves and tokens. She would be horrified to get anything more expensive. Presents and cards made by the children are much more acceptable I feel.

JessM My daughter has a good salary and her teaching conditions are very good she loves her job. She had a year off after having twins and has now gone back to the same job she adores being a teacher.

My most embarassing present was a litre bottle of gin!! Vey acceptable but so NOT obviously chosed by child. The best ones were the grotty ornaments chosen by the little rogues but which showed they'd thought about what to get you. Or the little note I got from one rascal which said : It has been a hard year !
I do agree that presents for the teachers does seem to be getting out of hand.

I'm a teacher and tbh it's embarrassing. Some parents see it as a competition. Who can give the largest bouquet of flowers? Who can give the most expensive gift? Of all the gifts I have recieved in my career there were two special ones. One was a banana from a little girl who giggled 'See I have listened to all your lessons on healthy eating' and the other was a fairy from the local pound shop which a child bought me with his own money because once in passing I mentioned that I have fairies at the bottom of my garden and so he bought me one to keep in my house.

The Polish children I teach brought their tradition which is to give each person who teaches you one single rose often from their garden. So at the end of the day you have a lovely bunch of roses that hasn't crippled anyone financially.

I can remember taking my teacher a bunch of flowers plucked from my parents' garden - or an apple! The world's gone crazy

In my DGD's school in NSW Oz there was a bit of an escalation going on. Certain type of mum sending emails around suggesting the amount everyone should give, and publicly chivvying.
next year the teacher tried to pre-empt, 6 months ahead, but saying if they really really wanted to give something they could make a donation to charity.
Some dad involved in a charity that gives bikes to children in a third world country. So far so good. This then escalates into "wouldn't it be great if every child in the class could donate a bike each! with their own name on!" (all by email)
am pleased to say that DDIL called em on it and pointed out that not everyone could afford ...
Competitive parenting....
Presumably in the private schools these gifts are a substitute for decent pay and conditions are they?

I would not have accepted or allowed my staff to accept anything extravagant like a holiday or high value voucher etc! Cannot imagine this happening in the state sector, just choccies, bottles of wine etc!

susiecb I think the expensive presents referred to were for teachers in the private sector! Certainly, by the time I retired from teaching in the state sector, we were restricted as far as gifts were concerned. But, the notes and letters etc., though few and far between, meant a lot, as I said.

It is crazy to have printed cards and for parents to spend money on gifts. I have been given many pressies:chocs, ornaments, flowers wine etc but the most appreciated were the handwritten notes and homemade cards recognising when a child had benefited because I (or colleagues) had gone the extra mile for the child! In my experience teachers do not expect or want anything more than a thank you!
The one gift I have kept was from a Jewish mum who appreciated the effort I put in to make Zoe feel valued by focusing on Hannukah as much as Christmas. I did not think I was doing anything special but it meant a lot to her, especially when she discovered my Palestinian heritage!

As the PTA class rep my DD has an envelope which parents can put a contribution in if they wish and then she buys a token or bouquet of flowers depending on what is collected. No-one has to give and no amount is specified.

Just before I retired from nursins some jobsworth in admin decided that the nurses could not accept anything worth more than £5 which meant a nice tn of choccs at Xmas had to be refused. I am at loss to know how teachers are allowed to accept expensvie presents given that they are in the public sector.

IMHO AFAIK needs adding to the Gransnet acronyms!

Mishap packets of cards with some with several cards in. Mamie thanks for the explanation of AFAIK - I'll add it to the my list.

I always got them in primry / middle schools. Chocolates, plants, flowers, wine, bath stuff etc
Yes dorsetpennt AFAIK - as far as I know.

Gosh - this all sounds crazy - and even cards in the shops! Didn't have any of that when my children were small - the occasional bunch of flowers from the garden when the mood took the, but nothing more.

My children's teachers only got presents if they deserved it, and believe me not all of them did! It wasn't the done thing in secondary school though.

When my daughter taught 4/5 year olds the presents were amazing but now she is a SEN teacher she gets next to nothing - strange.

Maybe - as far as I know -

Mamie what does AFAIK mean? new one to be me.

I remember my kids waiting for the end of year chocs!

The very best thank you happened a few weeks ago, when an ex student contacted me on FB. She has had a book of short stories published and dedicated it to me, with some lovely words. And she now just got a First. That is thank you enough.

My DiL (secondary maths teacher) was fed up with the culture of presents for teachers, but didn't want her DD (5) to feel left out. She hit upon the idea of getting her to decorate a mug in her own inimitable style and had it fired in her own school kiln. Goodness knows what the teacher thought of this, but at least it was unique.

Well I don't think anyone had to give five pounds. AFAIK people were just asked if they wanted to club together or they could choose to do their own thing. Some did and presumably gave something (or nothing) worth more or less as they wanted. It is a pretty affluent area. My daughter was pleased that the teacher would get a decent voucher and the girls made cards as well.

MaureenM I think a retiring teacher deserves some sort of recognition of the years they have put in to educate our children/G/children. When my son's primary school teacher for the last year in primary school retired, a party was held for her, organised by the PTA. Former children were invited as well as her present class. We had a whip around by the PTA plus parents of the last class and gave her garden vouchers as requested. I'm glad to hear some schools are putting a stop to this. As Annobel says a fiver per child if there were also siblings in the school would be far too much, that would have been £25 for my friend with 5 children.

I'm about to retire from teaching in a few weeks. Small gifts or cards are appreciated, especially if home made or with a special message. I have never been given anything extravagant, nor would I wish to receive that. I don't work in a private school though. Instead of it escalating, I have noticed less children giving presents in the current recession and I am happy with that. I would hate to think anyone struggled to give a present and anyway many parents probably think that teachers are better off than they are.

A fiver would be quite out of the question for many families, especially when there are several children from one family. It would be an embarrassment for those parents (and their children) who couldn't make this donation. And what if it's a teacher that all or some of the children can't stand?