14 year old 'gets away with it'

Yes, the current hysteria surrounding child abuse doesn't help anyone, least of all the child.

You're right there goldengirl

Awful as it is I feel / hope it is a one-off incident. Not all 14 year olds are like this yet it tars them with the same brush which is grossly unfair. Every so often papers take to a particular topic eg vicious dogs, foxes coming into bedrooms, etc etc and it makes you think that every dog is vicious or all foxes are about to come in through the cat flap when that is not the case. I'm not denying these things happen but the papers hype it up and encourage 'interviews' and so we get things out of proportion.

The thought of having a Sun reporter at my front door after such an incident..........................!

indeed, when. I completely agree about the rush to 'offer' counselling when trauma is still very much active, and is probably the worst of times in being able to make considered choices.

Sometimes journalists/the media can mess (not the word I had in mind but it begins with f) with one's head.

Sorry Butternut not concentrating - I was watching the tennis and backing out of the door to pick the dog up so wrote it in a hurry. I was thinking of the way the offer of counselling is too readily suggested in some cases, so inflicting was the wrong word. Same with the stuck word - some people who find themselves going round and round in circles over their abuse experiences are often coping perfectly well in most areas of their life, but may decide they need to get some counselling to enable themselves to move forward - what's right for some would not be for others.

Also, I would put out a plea for this particular mum - who knows how they would behave after a shock like this - maybe she will regret talking to the papers further down the line, but she's very much on the receiving end of this awful experience, and needs understanding, not being pilloried because of what she's done. She may see this as being a way to help the family, on balance, and not something else for the child to endure.

.... not that I'm feeling defensive, you understand!

when I wouldn't necessarily agree that counselling is 'inflicted' upon anyone - there is a choice to be made about whether to accept it or not, and to walk away if it doesn't suit, for a child or an adult.

Also, getting stuck, as you put it, does not mean that there is an inability to cope.

Well said

None taken Jingle. Some mums are all a child needs after an incident like this, and no professional needs to get involved at all. Also, some people don't need counselling inflicting on them, unless they get so 'stuck' that they can't cope.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

No offence meant when.

Well said, when

Genuine professionals who know how to enable an abused child to recover and come to terms with what has happened to them would never dream of setting themselves up as experts, and parents are given the support they need to enable them to be helpful to the child, too. Ths mum may need some help to do that, as she is breaking down due to the shock of this incident, and at the moment might not be the best person for her child to talk to about it. The child doesn't need the burden of watching her mum falling to pieces, but mum will be able to tell her how sad and upset she was at a more approprite time.

I wouldn't let any of the so-called 'experts' anywhere near her.

I wouldn't want anybody counselling my child but myself.

Yes, I agree.

I still feel it seems like exploiting the child!

I have no objection to anybody taking money off the Sun or any other newspaper, as long as the publicity does not rebound on the child.

Children are helped to disclose and recover in a sensitive and subtle way, if they see helpful counsellors/therapists such as those employed with NSPCC. I agree that making little fuss is better for the child, whilst enabling them to feel that they have been believed and the adults have shown they have taken steps to protect the child. The mother may feel she needs to express her view of things and whilst I wouldn't want to do it, she might find it was right for her. I wouldn't begrudge her being paid. Papers tend to sell the idea to such families as payment being an opprtunity for a good holiday to take themselves out of the spotlight and relax for a week or so.

I think it depends, J04 but I agree - emoting to the press .... mind you, the Sun may have just made it all up. They do that sort of thing.

I've got a feeling that unless it states somewhere that they didn't receive any payment, then they did!

jeni, makes you wonder.

Yes Greatnan!

Do they get paid?

jingle - great minds and all that!