Wanting to move to be near children and grandchildren!

I have no idea what I would do if ever i was left on my own. Would I go back to the UK to be near our grand-children and older daughter? Very likely - but I have no idea - just can't imagine how I would feel. Perhaps spend winters in Tenerife near our second daughter???

In many ways, I would love them to come and live here and take the house over- as life here would be wonderful for the children as they grow up. No idea what the future holds - but I am glad that I am very flexible and adaptable - and feel equally at home here and in the UK. Che sera, sera...

I have had a long talk with my daughter about my moving to New Zealand in a few years time. I want to go whilst I am still fit and active so that I can enjoy some new hobbies, such as kayaking and riding. We have come to a mutual decision that it would be better if I were to buy/lease a small house or flat in their area, rather than put a cabin in their garden. If they want to move when the two children still at home (15 and 14) go to university, it would complicate matters if they had to either sell their house with my cabin, or try to find somewhere where it could be relocated.
I am determined to move to New Zealand anyway, as I now wish to be in an English-speaking country, so that I can join some clubs for women of my age and do some volunteering, such as driving people to hospital. If they wish to move on, I will be quite happy to stay in my own home. They have no intention of leaving the general area around Richmond in South Island, but they want to move out of the village so that they can afford more land. I would still see a lot of them, and go on shopping trips with my daughter, etc. but we would all be totally free to pursue our own lives.
Sometimes it takes a while to think things through, but I am sure we have now hit on a perfect solution.

We took a while to sell our house in Sth London once we decided to move close to the kids & their families and it was the most frustrating time so BIG sympathies to ninnynanny but it did happen.

Mrsgeeze my daughter's in-laws moved to Germany to be near them when their son was posted there with the army.
SIL tried to dissuade them, reminding them that his next posting could be anywhere in the world. But they wouldn't listen. Two years later he was posted back to the U.K. a 90min drive from me.
He has now been made redundant from the army and they will be moving back to this area in January, WOOHOO!!! which is where his parents lived originally !!
His parents however cannot afford to return to the UK at the moment.

kat go for it!

ninnynanny my heart goes out to you! We have just moved here to Devon, near our DD and it is wonderful. Our house in North Kent only took five months to sell, but it was awful, especially as DH sank into doom and gloom. (other GNs have heard all this as I whinged and moaned, and they were so supportive) we had decluttered, prepared it for viewings...one buyer pulled out. But we are here!
Chin up, keep getting the posh bedding out etc. It will happen!

Go and have a few nice outings / dinners / to take your mind off it all. And good luck. xxx

Oops, I'm new to this game. Haven't got the hang of acronyms. I meant DD and DGD, of course.

Would love to move nearer my DG and DGD as they broke my heart by moving away last year when DG was offered a dream job. However, what's to stop them moving again when another job offer comes up? Would be interested to hear from anyone this has happened to.

need a mobile home has any one got one for sale so that i can live with my daughter in southern ireland

Living near....and living with.......two different scenarios. I have told my daughter about my check list for living in her garden, so there is no resentment on either side. I would not like to live in the same house as a youngish couple (41 and 49) as they need their privacy - and so do I!
However, living close enough to be able to drop in - NOT unannounced - sounds wonderful.

Moving nearer to my children is the best thing I have ever done.
Go for it.

It's worked for us too kat - I'd say if they want you near and you want that too then go for it.

kat of course you are right what a beautiful part of the world you are so lucky if you decide to go.

Best move I ever made kat. Hope it works out for you too.

kat absent is right. Go for it...

If it feels right kat, then it is right.

am i right in moving to southern ireland at the age of 80 years to live with my family?

ninnynanny I do sympathise. It has taken us three years to get our residency visas to move near to absentdaughter and absentgrandchildren. In that time we down-sized and moved out of London. However, we limited the upgrading of the house we moved into because we weren't sure whether we would get the visas – it was touch and go for a long time. If we were going to have to stay in the UK, we would do things one way; if we were off to New Zealand, we would do things another, less expensive way. Now we know that we shall be going, we are furiously prinking and tarting the house, but am not at all confident that we shall get an acceptable price in the time available and may have to rent it out.

I don't think even absentdaughter has a clue what an upheaval is involved.

Keep you chin up and good luck.

ninnynanny, living in that awful no-mans land of waiting is a real drain on ones emotions and eventually it becomes a physical drain. Its easy for someone else to say I know but I have been there. Try to look at anything good thats happening in your life. Try not to focus so much on what you do not have any control over.

I dont live as close to my daughter and GC as I would like so I build my relationship around phone calls, sending them little cards every now and again as well as picking out a little something from Amazon every few weeks. GS is only 3 but he will chat on the phone and he tells me that hes been reading the book I sent him or listening to the story tape. Its not the physical contact of course but it allows me to feel involved in their little lives.

The other thing I'm doing as a long term project is writing a, no doubt very amateurish, book full of all the remembrances of my family now that I am the oldest one left (sobering). I have addressed it to them but not for the age they are at the moment, its just the sum of all the things I said and did with my Grandma as well as the stores she and my mother told. I do it when I feel a bit glum and it does cheer me up.

I really understand your frustration ninnynanny - we sold our house to the daughter of a friend at the end of June and moved to the south coast to be near DD and DGC and it is wonderful! They can pop in and out and we can help our DD with picking up the children from football, music lessons etc.It all feels so much easier than when they came to stay with all the beds, catering, entertainments etc.

There was a hold up in our small chain as the first time buyer at the bottom was a bit of a p**t and hadn't got his finances sorted despite knowing the score. It really pays to let as many people as possible know that your house is for sale - we have now sold our last two properties privately (no agents' fees!) to daughters of friends. In this latest case, she had a limit on the mortgage she could get so we agreed to that figure, which was less than the estate agent valued it at BUT we had no fees to pay and who knows if a buyer would have come along anyway at the higher price. we and she were happy to proceed.

Keep positive ninny - you only need one buyer and they may turn up today!

Thanks for your comments, we have a nice house, immaculate so the estate agent says and we have reduced it, only people we have had viewing like the house but haven't sold theirs. I just feel upset I am not near my grandchildren and I am missing them.

I decided 2 years ago to move nearer the children and grandchildren.
I could not sell my house so I have tenants in it and rent one here.
It works for me and the family.

ninnynanny can you try getting someone you know and trust to come in and look at your house and tell you what you can do to make it more saleable? Don't ask the estate agent they are usually a waste of space. It is hard to look at your own home and see it as others see it.

Do you show people round yourself or does your agent do it? When I sold our house 3 years ago (in the downturn) we had no offerswhile the agent was doing it so I decided to show people round myself. The next 2 viewings both made offers and it was sold very quickly. Of course it could be coincidence but I think they trusted me and not the agent.

I assume you know all the basic stuff like decluttering and making everything neutral.

Ulttimately every house will sell at the right price, it may be that you will have to lower yours as our neighbour has just done. She dropped hers from £575k to £525K. There is no point just dropping it by a small amount.

Good luck

It's not a good time anywhere, I don't think , ninnynanny. There are loads of houses for sale in our village. When you're so looking forward to moving closer to your family, it'll feel even worse, no doubt. Try not to get despondent.