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moving on

(11 Posts)
sonearsofar Sun 19-Aug-12 21:30:23

I'm in my 50s, my husband's retiring next year and we've lived here (a small village) for nearly 20 years. We like it but, at the same time, don't feel as though we fit in. So..what I want to do is to move, rent out our place, and try life in Bristol, our nearest city for a couple of years. Has anyone else done this, either on a permanent or temporary level, and has it worked out for them?

Ariadne Mon 20-Aug-12 06:47:46

We are In our 60s and about to move from Kent to Devon, but it's very different from what you are proposing, as we know the new area well and DD lives there.

I think that you are doing the right thing by testing the water, as it were, before selling up completely, and it should be really interesting to compare the different lifestyles!

Is your village very clique-y? You say that you feel you don't fit in, even after 20 years? I am just interested! I have heard that it can be so, if you are considered to be incomers, but have never wished for the rural life, so never experienced it.

Anyway, sonearsofar go for it! GNs who live in Bristol will have some ideas too, I am sure.

Greatnan Mon 20-Aug-12 06:56:09

I plunged in at the deep end, sold my flat in Kent and bought a house in France - but I had lived abroad for several years previously and I knew exactly what I wanted.
I don't see why your plan should not work, but you will probably need to put your own property with a letting agent who should arrange vetting of prospective tenants, insurance, lease, etc.
Do you have close friends/relatives where you live at the moment? Some people find they miss them too much.

Gagagran Mon 20-Aug-12 07:34:20

We moved to the Home Counties from the north 9 years ago when we both got early retirement, to be near our first DGC who were aged 1 and 2 at the time. We moved to a village and knew we had to be "joiners" so I joined the WI and DH joined the cycling club and we quickly made lots of friends. As is the way however, DC both moved on and we realised that we had no family near so we have made our final (we hope) move to the south coast to be near DD and DGC. DD is sure they will not be moving again as DSinL has a senior NHS post now and secondary schooling looms for DGD.

I would say "go for it" sonear - life is a series of chapters and adventures and they keep you energised. You will need to go out and meet the world though - it won't beat a path to your door. I have found being friendly and open is the key to making lots of new friends. It is wonderful having DGC popping in and we love our new home and like Ariadne we were very familiar with the area before the move. Good luck! sunshine

sonearsofar Mon 20-Aug-12 07:43:00

thanks for the replies everybody. We are big 'joiners'. Sometimes we feel as though there isn't a committee that we're not on, and we do have friends, but think, in the end, that I/we just aren't very good at fitting in to the extent that other people are. I don't think it's the place we're in, it's who we are. I'm not (generally) upset about this, it's just the way we are. But I just feel it would be good to try a change. We've got 3 adult children, but their lives are too unsettled to know where they'll be from one year to the next!

mickey Mon 20-Aug-12 08:53:23

I moved from the fens to a northern city two years ago really at DH's request. My DD lived there so we knew it quite well. I had to move my old pony as well-tthat concerned me the most. I knew everybody in the last place as I had a high profile career. Anyway I joined U3A,WI, a local social group,and Iv.e now enrolled at an evening class.I must admit that even with DD here it was queer at first, but more going on makes up for that-a change is as good as a rest.

AlisonMA Mon 20-Aug-12 09:53:37

We had moved around a fair bit during our married life but for 15 years had been living in Surrey, just inside the M25, in what the Sunday Times has called 'the most expensive village in England'. Ours was a modest house compared to most of them but everyone was so busy that we only made really good friends with our immediate neighbours. When I stopped working I joined a yoga class and went for a few weeks but no one spoke to me at all and they all seemed to know each other so I didn't intrude.

When DH retired three years ago we moved to Malvern in Worcestershire and absolutely love it. Everyone is so friendly, even the drivers give way when there is no need. We haven't joined anything, we haven't had time! On Saturday a neighbour had a party for her new neighbours and I went on my own as DH was away and I met lots of new people and they were all lovely. Just walking along the road people smile and say hello, very different from Surrey.

It sounds as if you are not planning to move far so will you still go back to your village for a social life? It might be harder to settle in and 'belong' if your old haunts are so close.

I think there are some from the Bristol area coming to the Midlands meet up on 6th October, why don't you join them?

tattynan Wed 22-Aug-12 20:06:09

Sounds like you are ready for a change - go for it and enjoy yourselves.

jeni Wed 22-Aug-12 20:19:54

Yes you'll be wellcome. I'm from portishead.

Maniac Thu 23-Aug-12 17:20:40

I've lived in 3 different locations in Bristol in the last 24 years.
Its a great city.I love the river areas.For last 5 yrs been in Backwell a large village 10 m Sw of Bristol Centre. Rural but with good transport links,good neighbours and a friendly active community.
Lots of properties to buy or rent here and in nearby small town of Nailsea.

Mishap Thu 23-Aug-12 17:43:44

Good luck with this - I have seen these sort of moves work brilliantly and also work out not so well for others. Research and a realistic expectations seem to be the two best things to consider. Perhaps thinking about what made you feel you did not "fit in" somewhere you had been for 20 years is also a worthy area of thought - if you isolate what went wrong for you there you might be able to carry some positive ideas for success forward to a new location.

I do hope that it all works out well for you.