Guys some one across the street or walks in a room , You dislike them, WHY ?

This post is so apt at the moment. I always disliked and thought the worst of Jimmy Saville. And this was back in the 60s when we knew nothing about his behaviour.

I very seldom take an instant dislike to someone but when I do it ALWAYS transpires that there is a good reason to avoid them When I was younger, I used to try very hard to overcome the feeling, searching hard for something likeable about the person, but I have learned to trust my instinct and now just avoid such people. Trying to narrow down what causes the feeling I think it is a 'falseness' about them, a mismatch between how they are presenting themselves and what their eyes and body language are saying. I have the same feeling about a few 'personalites' who give me the creeps. Gary Glitter was one of them and Jimmy Saville another. I will not name the others on my list who have yet to be exposed but will not be the least bit surprised when they are outed as a 'rank bad yin'. I would bet that many of us have immediately suspected the apparently heartbroken relatives in some of the child abuse/murder/abduction cases over recent years, did not want to prejudge, but eventually found that the gut reaction was the right one - and that is just seeing them on the TV.

Thanks for the warning, glamma. I will be on my best behaviour if/when we eventually meet.

It is extremely rare for me to dislike somone on first meeting and I don't think I have ever taken a dislike to someone just by looking at them. On the odd occassion when I have disliked someone on first meeting it has turned out to be correct but it is very rare.

I tend to like everyone until I am proved wrong. Having said that, I like to attribute good motives to everyone and make excuses for their behaviour until I am forced to recognise that I don't like them. OK, call me niaive/stupid/gullible, whatever you like but I would rather be hurt sometimes than go through my life not trusting people until they have proved themselves.

I usually take a while to get to know someone and if I like you I will be your friend for life but cross me at your peril I am not very forgiving (except immediate family)

I certainly always knew on sight if I was going to be attracted to a man - I think it is chemistry, the pheromones have to be compatible. I know the received wisdom is that you are judged within the first few minutes of a job interview. A limp handshake, or somebody being too gushing can put me off. I have had to get used to being kissed two or three times on the cheek, depending on the country, by people I have just met, but at first it was very strange.
I have sometimes approached a group of youths hanging around a street corner to ask for directions and they have always been polite and helpful. I think they were surprised that a smartly-dressed woman (I was working at the time) was willing to approach them.

I took an instant dislike to Archbishop of Sydney, Peter Jensen, when I saw him on the telly. Then when he started talking I could see why - he is a smug self-righteous prig.

Yes, I sometimes have a negative feeling when I meet someone new, and in the end I find out I would not want to know them anyway. Perhaps it is an ancient safety mechanism in our brains, not to come too close to a person who could be dangerous.

Me too, Mishap, or if they carry a large bunch of keys on their belts, so that they dangle near their 'important places'....

Men who walk with a swagger - boy do they turn me off!

Absent.

I had a similar experience. When my DD was about 8 we were in a stream looking for fish etc. The stream is a well known place for families to go but we were alone, until three men got into the stream with us. I was so uncomfortable with the situation, especially when one of them came upto us. He was a skin head with tattos and I froze.

He looked at us and said "Would your little girl like these, we are off now". He gave her a jam jar with shrimps and fish in it and left. I remember vividly thinking how wrong I was at the time and it taught me a lesson. What ever made big strong men go messing about in a stream still seems strange to this day but that is all they were doing, nothing more, nothing less.

Mind you to be honest I would'nt put myself in the position of being alone now a days. On that day though I had taken an instant dislike to them and I was wrong.

I read or watched an explanation for this instinctive reaction - can't remember what is was though!

Hi windtalker. I specifically remember an occasion when I had had to stand on the tube in London and began to feel very wobbly. I got to the station I was travelling to, managed to get up the stairs and then took off my coat, dumped my briefcase, sat on the floor and put my head down. Then I noticed a young man dressed in leather with quite a lot of piercings and clearly dyed black hair approaching me and I thought, "Oh hell! On top of feeling so wobbly, some bugger is going to mug me."

The young man squatted down beside me and very politely asked if I was okay. He offered to find me some water and then suggested an ambulance or a taxi. Eventually he accompanied me home as we walked with his hand under my elbow. A lesson I have learned.

I am one of those people who get a feeling within minutes of meeting someone if I can trust them, not sure what it is.... maybe a second sense that tells me to beware... or something in their eyes., I don't know but it has proven correct so many times in my life..... even when others think this person is the best thing since sliced bread I bide my time and low and behold my gut feeling has won again.

Its the strangest feeling in that first few minutes and I can't pin point what it is! But I always trust it!

close , sadly no cottage! but in yorkshire near the beach or the sandstorm it is today [smiley] you have the human/ caveman right to simply communicate or not, as the mood maybe. still think its down to instinct!

Hello Absentgrana.
I can understand that , I will follow the thread , we mite get to the bottom of a human emotion lol.
There must be thousands of years experience in our on line chat world.
Nice to meet you

I don't think I have ever taken a dislike to someone on sight but certainly have done after a few minutes conversation. I have been fearful or anxious because a stranger looked threatening, not always with justification.

I have a picture of you in my mind , stud in a cottage on a lonely beach in Yorkshire with your words lol.
You mite be right but i still do not want to talk to them , how crazy is that.
Perhaps we are still cave men at heart .?
And its all instinct.

yes sadly i am very windswept and wet in our beloved uk! i believe most people are reserved until you break the ice so to speak, and maybe thats were the expression " never judge a book by its cover "comes in to play.

Yes could be , but we are intelligent, do not judge a book by its cover etc.
But i still do it lol
Is it the look in there eyes , there face , there dress , has me stumped .
I take it your in UK Like i am now.
After years in North Canada this is what they would call a shower.
lol

hi windtalker, your name is certainly applicable with the weather today! could it just be an instinct or gut reaction? most of the time our instincts turn out to be spot on.