A person in a position of a authority over a vulnerable person should not breach that trust by having a sexual relationship with someone in their care.
It doesn't matter whether they are a teacher, religious pastor, counsellor, therapist, doctor, or anyone else in that situation. Doctors get struck off pastors defrocked or whatever the appropriate word is. You do not do it and accept the consequences if you do. If the relationship is developing the person in the senior position should end their formal relationship with the object of their affections.
Time and time again we have these modern Juliets professing their undying love for their teacher, best friend's Dad, Turkish waiter or Egyptian bar man. I have yet to hear of one that doesn't end in years. Two years after the great romantic abduction/elopement. they are back home with Mum and Dad sadder and wiser and often with a child.
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Missing Schoolgirl Megan Stammers.
(227 Posts)In the late 60's my then husband and I attended a dinner dance and met a school friend of his - we were in our early 20's. This chap had a History degree from Oxford and had taken a post-grad course in teaching. He was extremely lucky to get a post at a well known excellent London state school teaching history to 5th and 6th formers. He loved teaching but found the girls particularly difficult. Bearing in mind his age and that of the other teachers, he was their generation, enjoyed the same music, fashion etc. The girls were overtly sexual towards him, dropped off little love notes in his brief case, followed him home and knocked on his door, found out which pub he frequented etc etc. Unlike the teacher in Megan's case, he did not take up any offers and kept himself as aloof as possible.
We met him again a year later and by then he'd left the school and was teaching at an all boys grammer school and was much happier.
I'm not condoning Jeremy Forrest's behaviour, as an adult man in his 30's he should certainly know a lot better. Does he really think he can get away with this, that he won't be caught, that she isn't going to start to miss her mum and friends. She is only 15 years old for goodness sake. He will be on the sexual criminal register and will never be able to teach in this country again.
My point is that Megan may have behaved like the girls I talked about and he encouraged it [probably jokingly at first] and took it further.
With help she will get over this, in time realise what a creep he is and she will meet a decent boy nearer her age.
He on the other hand will have lost his job, his wife, probably most of his friends, no one will trust him near their young daughters, he has ruined his life. GOOD
If he had behaved like a responsible adult, let her down gently and reminded her that he was a married man, she would be over it by now and probably in a relationship with a boy closer to her own age.
I totally agree whenim
I don't care if she was naked and swinging from the chandeliers to entice him. She was not old enough to give informed consent and he should not have exploited her. She was 14 when it started and only reached 16 recently. The press are doing her no favours, helping her to romanticise what happened. She needs space to grow up, not pledge her life to someone who isn't available to have a meaningful, responsible relationship with her. I feel sorry for her mother. Her dad is just colluding with the pair. He was a teacher and, as has been said before, he should have got himself out of the profession and waited until she could give informed consent.
I would imagine most schoolgirls have crushes on teachers. I can remember in my secondary school most of the girls had a crush on a certain teacher. Nothing untoward ever happened as far as I am aware, he seemed to laugh it off. And in my junior school when I was about 11 most of us little girls had a crush on a particular Catholic priest who was referred to as 'gorgeous'. It's up to the teachers to act responsibly.
Just caught up with this thread. What do others think of the media reports since sentencing. His family seem to me to be viewing him as the vulnerable one here. It's sad to see that the young woman concerned has taken full responsibility for all that occurred. She is quoted as having said she "groomed him", persuaded him to run away by threatening to harm herself. She wants to write to him, says it's true love and she'll wait and marry him. His family seem to believe he was let down by his wife, unhappy in his marriage, and fell in love with a young girl, indicating that his immaturity somehow excuses him from normal adult responsibility. From what I read, their sexual relationship began just after her 15th birthday. It's clear she sees it as a great romance, an us against the world that doesn't feel like we do kind of situation. It's so sad for this young girl, she is alienated from her mother, her father is saying he'll be happy to walk her down the aisle when JF is released from prison. Oh dear me, what a mess
Just caught up with this thread. What do others think of the media reports since sentencing. His family seem to me to be viewing him as the vulnerable one here. It's sad to see that the young woman concerned has taken full responsibility for all that occurred. She is quoted as having said she "groomed him", persuaded him to run away by threatening to harm herself. She wants to write to him, says it's true love and she'll wait and marry him. His family seem to believe he was let down by his wife, unhappy in his marriage, and fell in love with a young girl, indicating that his immaturity somehow excuses him from normal adult responsibility. From what I read, their sexual relationship began just after her 15th birthday. It's clear she sees it as a great romance, an us against the world that doesn't feel like we do kind of situation. It's so sad for this young girl, she is alienated from her mother, her father is saying he'll be happy to walk her down the aisle when JF is released from prison. Oh dear me, what a mess
gma I was a sweet innocent - as I'm sure were you!
I had given him the benefit of the doubt - but it sounds as if I was wrong as he's asked for more misdemeanours with an under age child to be taken into account ( could have been the same girl, I suppose )
My understanding of that Dorset is that it was just a legal technicality - in order for the French to act on the European Arrest Warrant, the UK authorities couldn't charge him with these 5 offences which were not offences in France. Once the trial was over on the offences for which he was extradited , these could be brought - I think he waived some rights so this could happen.
overthehill it doesn't matter whether he loved her or she loved him, or she encouraged him, he was lonely and couldn't help himself, or that the girl herself had 'feelings' for the opposite sex - She is 15 years old, half his age. People send their daughters to school in the expectation that they are to be taught not to be at the mercy of a man who feels its ok to fall in love with them. Also its ok to escape to France with them obviously knowing it was wrong. The moment he knew she was maybe flirting with him or that he had any sort of feelings towards her he should have stepped back. Plenty of male teachers have had experience of this, as I said in my original thread that started off this conversation. I hope his prison sentence of five and a half years will send a warning to other teachers. I feel very sorry for his parents who seem to be going through their own hell. I would also like to know what is meant by the 'five other sexual offences'
Ahhhhhh NfkDumpling!!!!!! From reading your posts I didn't have you down as a sheltered child, you don't sound that sheltered now!!!!!!
It was obviously fate Frank.
NfkDumpling
In a way I think I have had a sheltered childhood having the headmistress of my school as a future mother in law and a father in law who was the headmaster of another school.
My mother in law said I certainly made a very wise decision when I married her daughter.
Oddly enough the grammar school I went to was my parents second choice and I was told I only failed to get into the first choice by 1 mark.
My mother in law did however say the fact I went to her school was '' meant to be ''.
As well as meeting my wife the school also was the first in the area to introduce A level Economics, Law and Accounts which I did well in.
Frank
Oddly enough I did hear that people thought there were some strange goings on when I kept going to the house of the headmistress of my school when I was 11.
They did not realise I was taking an interest in her daughter who was 6 months older than me and we were married later.
My mother and father were never bothered about where I was going to as long as my homework was done.
Frank
I was a sheltered child too - but some of my class mates weren't and a couple went on to marry their classroom sweethearts and were mums by 17.
Why on earth, if they were really in love, could they not have waited until she was 16? Isn't that when a girl becomes a woman?
I have a feeling they would still require her parents consent to marry but at least he wouldn't be labelled a paedophile. Or have I got it completely wrong?
If this was love, it was a very selfish kind of love. The girl had a crush on her teacher and he exploited her.
Should this thread be using her name?
Me too, harrigran although I didn't think so at the time. I can't believe how naive and immature I was, compared to my view of myself then.
I believe he's got five and a half years for the abduction and five sexual offences. He'll have plenty of time to think about how he could have acted responsibly now.
The school should examine what they failed to do to safeguard Megan when it was known what he was doing.
I don't know about others but I was still a child at 15, I would have been terrified if a man had shown interest in me in that way. Maybe I had a sheltered upbringing 
Well he has been found guilty and has to pay the price of imprisonment, being listed as a paedophile and of course losing his job.
To me this quite harsh treatment as I am sure he must have been in love with girl to take such risks and couldn't help himself. She also, although only being 15 at the time was evidently in love with him to. By reading of the trial she seems very mature for her age and realised the implications of the relationship.
People may say she is only a child and in the eyes of the law she is, however I remember what I and my friends were like at 15 and what feelings we had for the opposite sex.
I am not saying he was right to do what he did, but I have sympathy. He had sex with a girl he was in love with. If you compare his case with Stuart Hall for instance who assaulted among others a 9 year old and gets a very lenient sentence it seems wrong.
But he WAS her teacher and she was underage! It doesn't matter how much they loved each other, he abused his position of trust. If he really wanted to continue to cheat on his wife and stay within the law, he should have found a job in another school and waited till she was 16.
I've just been reading over some of the posts on this thread and I'm astonished that anyone can believe children are not sexual beings until approaching puberty! I thought that idea was abandoned long ago.
Not that it has anything to do with the case in question.
You're not winding me up when..yes they are but there are specific issues relating to Megan and teacher (can't remember his name) which aren't necessarily simply about the wider principle of exploitation. I totally agree that he is in the wrong but if, for example, you put aside his duty as her teacher and to his wife, then take into consideration her physical (and possibly emotional) maturity, could their relationship not be understandable, even if not acceptable?
Sorry, Speckie, but that is the nature of forum discussions (on every forum) - they are like conversations, so they tend to wander. I don't think there is anything wrong in broadening the discussion about one child being abused to a general discussion on the subject of abuse.
Swiss time is the same as French time - I just thought I would let you know where I am!
At the risk of winding you up specki (don't mean to) aren't those subjects two part and parcel of the same thing? 
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