So who am I then?

I like your style petra

I love "reinventing" myself. The best one i did was a a very " dodgy" yacht club where a lot of booze and cigarettes changed hands.
My OH and myself were at the bar one night when someone said " I haven't seen you here before, what do you do. I told him I was a customs inspector.
His face literally drained of colour. The best part was that my OH didn't know that I was going to say it.

I started this thread, and have enjoyed reading all the comments, with the occasional 'off-tracking'. On the whole, and on reflection, I rather feel that the comment made to me was in the form of a compliment, in as much as the person making it knew that I was more than 'T's wife, but at the time I did feel rather hurt, which is not like me at all, I have the hide of a rhinoceros(?) in most circumstances. I am however, me, and I am 'T's wife and we are a fortunate couple who enjoy each others company, doing things together, so perhaps I should not have taken offence. This was a good place to let off steam though!

Me too absent. I said on another thread that I think couples can grow together or apart. There are times when it can be difficult too but, basically, it has to be worth the effort. DH and I have been lucky and I am more than happy to be known as his wife or someone's mother, daughter, sister, friend. It doesn't demean me to be an integral part of a whole!

Agree, absent

I think that there is loads of luck involved in a successful marriage. Mr absent and I have been very lucky. If the only thing that made it a success was hard work, why would anyone bother?

My daughters both chose to change their name when I did - they were 16 and 17. We just did not like my husband's surname, it wasn't a statement about the marriage. One daughter got married, divorced and remarried, so she has had four names.

Strangely enough I would have been annoyed at being referred to as 'my husband's wife' when we were married but since our divorce I have kept his name and, even if I remarried [which I won't do anyway] I would still keep that name. However rocky our marriage became and however glad I was to escape from it it was always meant to be for life, and it's also the name of my children. I seem to remember a comment from him through the awful fog that envelopped our marriage breakdown that I would 'always be his wife'; it wasn't meant in an 'ownership way' and I somehow cling to that remark.

Sorry, Greatnan, they were really meant for jeni though I am sure most of our membership will feel incensed by the record of Atos and as horrified as I am by their being chosen to conduct the assessments for the new Personal Independence Payment which is to replace Disability Living Allowance.

I wish I hadn't read it! So much anger can't be good for me this late at night.

www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/mandatory-consideration-consultation-response.pdf

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/atos-scandal-benefits-bosses-admit-1344278

How strange. They went blue then black again!
Now blue again. I'm too tired tonight but will read tomorrow.

all!

Not blue!

Makes sense, jeni.

I will blue these links for you . I think you will find it of interest

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/mandatory-consideration-consultation-response.pdf

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/atos-scandal-benefits-bosses-admit-1344278

I didn't keep my family name as I was going into GP with my father. I want to be Dr x not Dr Ys little daughter!

I regret keeping my married name, but when I divorced, the boys were still at home and it would have confused the issue if Mum had had a different name. My sister, who is a doctor, kept our family name professionally so had no trouble disentangling her name from her ex's.

Thank you, VQ, I had forgotten that!
I changed my name after my divorce because I did not want to be known by either my father's or my ex-husband's name. I was able to choose a name I really liked and my daughters like it so much that it is the middle name of two of the grandsons.
My sister's DIL refuses to be known by her married name so cards have to be addressed to Jane Doe and Bill Blogs.

vampirequeen brilliant! Ella46

I know my limits, so I'm staying on my own with the tv remote, and the toilet seat and lid down!

Love it, vampirequeen!

Or the 'little lady'

That reminds me of Harry Enfields 'Women know your limits!'

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

I always thought the worst invitations were not the ones that said Mr.and Mrs
first and last name of husband.

But the ones that said Mr. whoever and Lady.
They really got up my nose!
This was in the early seventies.

"Good lady wife"....there's a phrase that makes me want to vomit!

Oh, that reminds me of my granddad! He always called my granny 'Mother'

Or just 'Mother'