Do you ever feel intimidated?

To me, Bags has always come across online as a warm and positive person, whatever argument/debate she's been a part of.

It's so difficult to have a conversation without hearing voices, seeing gestures and making eye contact. The written word can be stark and appear curt, but I know from sitting at a table over a pub lunch with bags earlier his year that she has a very gentle, smiley disposition.

Grannylin, are you suggesting that it's amusing that some members feel the way they do, and that they should 'grow some balls', for want of a better expression?

nanadb
Bags

I don't know quite where all that went wrong but I am sorry anyone's feelings got hurt. I think it's so hard to communicate in this way. I hope no-one is thinking of leaving.

Everybody is new at some point. There are some Gransnetters who have been here since day 1, who don't participate much in discussion, and others who joined recently that have plunged right in and can chat readily on several different threads. This is a friendly, inclusive site. You have only to look at the names of competition winners to see that many do not choose to post at all, but use other parts of Gransnet. I don't see anyone complaining about that, nor should they. I remember to look on Gransnet's Facebook every now and then, and there is plenty going on there that I have not joined in, but I know I can when I want to. [smie]

I agree with your first paragraph whitewave. I find the whole thing amusing.Is there an equivalent, for a woman, of the question: are you man or mouse?

Watching the various threads and reading the different debates, I think really that GN often reflects life when groups of people get together and discuss different topics. There are always those who have a lot to say and contribute quite a bit sometimes usefully and sometimes not, whereas there are also those who say very little but often when they do contribute it is too the point and sometimes relatively profound.
But quite honestly does it matter? This is a site set up for people of a certain age to chat away on any subject that takes their fancy. I find that when I contribute people sometimes respond and at other times I seem to be invisible but I don't worry - I take it lightly and with a wry grin.

I think too that clearly there are grans who have been on the site for quite some time and have got to know each other well, so are more inclined to talk to each other. Perhaps some grans feel left out?

quod erat demonstrandum ..... I think my OP has been answered, my point is made, I rest my case!

Oh I did. Isn't it beautiful; it's captured the spirit of a horse.... being driftwood in a Tir na Nog sort of way? At York races each year they have a horse made of different things; think it was vegetables this year. There was a disaster this year or last when someone sat on it, though . I have backed a horse in tommorows race that is too bad to be true; he will either win or finish in a different county to the others [the race starts in one county and ends in another!].

crimson, have you seen the driftwood horse? I posted a link to it. I think you might like it. Thread's called "Horse"

I think my brain is starting to hurt, so I'm going to concentrate on which horse is going to win the Cesarewitch tomorrow [only 35 to choose from!].

POGS I think your 'back off' emoticon might be a good idea. Not to be overused by those trying to stifle debate but for personal use when someone is feeling they are in a corner perhaps.

It was this bit, nanadogs: "absent you sound like you think I'm not one of the 'posters who are very well informed and extremely articulate and therefore both good and speedy at expressing their opinions.' I don't know if I should feel annoyed, patronised or amused."

You did put a grin, but I guess I didn't pick up on the humour. Sorry, but it does rather illustrate the point that it's difficult to pick up 'tone of voice' when there is no voice and no facial expression. I'm sure that If I'd been in the same room as you, I wouldn't have misunderstood you.

I think that in the same way, forthrightness (or whatever you want to call it) in print, would not come over quite the same face to face because the not unfriendly tone of voice would mellow what was being said.

I'm sorry if I have said something to upset you, nanadogs, but I was only trying to reassure you that absent meant no offence, not to criticise you for, possibly, misunderstanding her. It now seems that it was I who did all the misunderstanding. Not deliberately. I was trying to be friendly and, believe it or not, conciliatory. Just shows how easy it is (for me) to be in the wrong without any intention of being anything but straightforwardly friendly.

I'm a bit gobsmacked, actually.

Thank you Marelli, I need to speed up my typing or my thinking or both. Never could pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, POGS, especially your last paragraph.

nightowl -

Oh dear it took me so long to compose my post that I've missed at least half a dozen others!

Nano

I absolutely believe there are times when problems arise and a thread takes the turn for the worse. Perhaps an emoticon for 'Back Off' wouldn't go amiss.

As this topic is brought up occasionally it is obviously a matter that concerns some G.N. It is sad some G.N's either avoid a thread or don't enter into a thread because they feel 'intimidation' is taking place. It will never stop because those who have the tendency to intimidate don't accept they are doing it, or genuinely don't think they are the ones being spoken of. That's human nature I suppose.

Gosh I have come to this thread late in the day, and don't know that I can add anything to all the very wise and sensible things that have already been said. I am glad you are staying nanadb. I have had times when I thought about leaving but I have not done so because I have valued the friendship, support and fun I have found. I have sometimes been reluctant to join in some threads when I have felt I didn't know enough about a subject, or if a heated discussion is going on between a few posters. I think it takes a lot of courage to put one's views on a public forum which can be read by thousands of people, having no idea how they will be received. Some people are braver than others. I love reading the variety of views, and I have learned a lot about subjects I knew little or nothing about. I have also learned more about things I thought I knew about. I think above all I have just been amazed to find so many strong minded and wonderful women (and a few men) at a time in my life when I was beginning to feel invisible.

There - I said I had nothing to add so I'll stop waffling

Sorry, nanadog, it seems I misread your post. I'll go back and read it again. Back in a tick.

Lilygran

Or maybe a warning after the title? May contain flashing lights and strong language......not suitable for persons of a nervous disposition.

Trouble is with having a 'debate' or 'issues' thread is the speed with which any subject can veer off into something completely different. Perhaps an automatic switching device? Or the poster could signal when they were about to write something controversial? An emoticon for causing waves? Or a spoon? But that would mean the poster would have to know that the post would cause trouble.....

Still trussed up Greatnan?

Anyone who wants to get a word in, hurry up before she wrestles herself free! Tee Hee!

Yes bags, by saying I, or whoever, got hold of the wrong end of the stick you are actually making assumptions and making people feel stupid by saying they have got it wrong. I was waiting for someone to come up with that 'argument' and frankly it doesn't stand up. It's the equivalent of the bully's cry 'I was only joking'.