Gransnet forums


Do you ever feel intimidated?

(379 Posts)
Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:04:39

I'm creating this thread reluctantly but I do have to say that I've been considering leaving GN.

baubles Fri 12-Oct-12 14:07:05

Intimidated by what or whom?

jeni Fri 12-Oct-12 14:08:24

Why? I hope I haven't upset you? I can't think of anything that has occurred, but then I've been too busy for GN recently!

Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:14:24

That's a good question * baubles* and I'd like to leave it as a question for the moment. You see if its just me being paranoid then I need to find that out. But if there are others who feel the same then it starts to be an issue. It takes quite a lot of courage to admit to feeling like this.

petallus Fri 12-Oct-12 14:14:39

Yes I do sometimes feel intimidated. I usually recover.

Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:17:10

petallus smile

Grannyknot Fri 12-Oct-12 14:17:12

I feel a bit intimidated sometimes e.g. when people appear to be very learned about a particular subject and so definite in their opinions that I daren't air mine.

annodomini Fri 12-Oct-12 14:17:13

No, I usually give as good as I get and if I can't I turn my back on the situation.

Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:20:50

* grannyknot* smile that's is worrying that you feel you can't air your views.

Mamie Fri 12-Oct-12 14:24:51

If I feel uncomfortable with a discussion, I just don't take part in it. I think forums develop a characteristic "voice" and I would say this one is pretty gentle really. Have you spent any time on Mumsnet? It makes for an interesting comparison.

annodomini Fri 12-Oct-12 14:25:29

Grannyknot, your opinions are worth just as much as anyone's. Being 'learned' doesn't make people's opinions right! Plenty of us manage to talk through an unmentionable orifice and still sound convincing!!!

whenim64 Fri 12-Oct-12 14:30:25

It depends what's being discussed. There are some threads I read and don't comment on as I don't feel I know enough, although I will go away and read up so I know a bit more. I hope you stay nanadogdsbody. Gransnet is for everyone to enjoy smile

Nelliemoser Fri 12-Oct-12 14:31:21

nanadb I hope it wasn't my last post on "How Did you find Gransnet" as I was including myself in my comments as a GN addict. I find it hard not to comment on stuff that catches my attention. If it did sound wrong to you I fully apologise. I had not meant it to be a criticism just a humourous observation. blush flowers

glitabo Fri 12-Oct-12 14:31:49

I think that I picked up on the way you are feeling Nanadogsbody from another thread when you said that you do not post as much as you used to.
Perhaps I have misinterpreted your thoughts but I think that they are very similar to my own. I do enjoy GN and I love the chats and support and advice and jokes. I also enjoy the debates, but very often these are hijacked by those with entrenched views. I can live with that too, but what I find frustrating is the continuous nit picking by a few GNetters over perhaps the choice of words or the usage of words by some of the contributors. When things are written down it is easy to feel put down or intimidated, because you can not see the face of the other people or hear the tone of their voices. Personally I am not feeling intimidated by these posts but they do make me feel like not bothering. I enjoyed the Midlands meet up and met some very interesting women. I believe that interesting women are in the majority in GN. So I am going to continue to enjoy it and I hope you do too.

Now I will dive under the desk and take

Mamie Fri 12-Oct-12 14:32:26

I think if someone has a lot of knowledge and experience in a particular field, then I wouldn't argue with them.

Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:36:56

nelliem of course I didn't, bless you. smile I'm not that feeble! And when you've always been supportive when I've taken a hit.
Please people don't try to second guess who or what, and it's not all about how I feel but also how I have felt when others have been treated.

Notsogrand Fri 12-Oct-12 14:39:46

I respect your honesty Nanad and I understand where you're coming from. I haven't ever felt intimidated on Gransnet, because essentially, it's just words on a screen. However, I have felt uncomfortable about the occasional break-out of what seem to be quite strident attitudes and opinions.
In real life, I don't particularly like confrontation or 'in your face' ness, and will back away from it if possible. The same on here. If I come across a few threads with quite scratchy posts, I just back off and stay away for a while, but I always come back and always will smile
I hope you don't leave Nanad, because in our very different ways, we all make a valuable contribution to Gransnet. It takes all - very varied - sorts!

Nanadogsbody Fri 12-Oct-12 14:42:03

Very perceptive * glitabo* grin
I'm having to go on the school run now, and then on to a Pets as Therapy session. I hope this thread will run for a bit, peacefully if possible.

absentgrana Fri 12-Oct-12 14:46:59

Nanadog There are some posters who are very well informed and extremely articulate and therefore both good and speedy at expressing their opinions. However, I would suggest that they are exactly the posters who truly welcome other viewpoints and pictures of the matter in hand. There have been discussions about bullying , but truly I don't believe it happens. Strong opinions don't mean that alternative opinions and viewpoints aren't welcome. That is what discussion and debate is all about. You can't have a good knock down argument if anyone is in agreement. grin Please don't for a second think of leaving GN when so many of us value your postings and opinions so highly.

Barrow Fri 12-Oct-12 14:54:21

Whilst I have never felt intimidated I do agree with glitabo that some people with very entrenched views can appear to be a little strident sometimes. If I feel that way I merely stop posting on that thread. I try to be reasonable in my posts and accept that others may not agree with my views.

Gransnet on the whole is a great place for advice and discussion, I have been on other forums where the postings have been extremely unpleasant with personal attacks for disagreeing with a particular view.

Lilygran Fri 12-Oct-12 14:55:09

Pets as Therapy sounds wonderful! I'd love to borrow a couple of cats for an afternoon......

jeni Fri 12-Oct-12 14:55:59

Do you have to provide the pet?

janeainsworth Fri 12-Oct-12 14:56:24

Please don't leave Nanadogsbody
I felt intimidated a few times when I first joined and thought of leaving for that reason and also it was taking up too much time!
I just avoid the temptation to answer back if I think things are going to be awkward, leave the thread and find a nicer one. I try to remember that things sound much harsher on a computer screen than if we were all just sitting having a few drinks together smile
I've learned a lot in the short time I've been on GN and generally find other people's opinions fascinating, and that outweighs the occasional slightly hurt feeling.
I did put in the census thingy that I thought the forum should be more actively moderated because I realised it wasn't only me feeling slightly upset sometimes. I've noticed several people seem to have stopped posting recently and that is a shame - the more the merrier I think.
I think it's also a pity that there isn't a facility to edit one's posts so that if someone regrets something they have posted, they could delete or modify it. I suppose a request can always be made to GNHQ.
Anyway sorry for rambling and please don't go flowers

absentgrana Fri 12-Oct-12 15:03:50

Lilygran I've got five – you can have the lot as long as you like. Some are really good purrers. grin

Lilygran Fri 12-Oct-12 15:07:11

Where are they, absent? And can I give them back?