I need a little help from my friends...

soop Of course this is a big plan and a big change but almost certainly one that is far more terrifying in anticipation than it will be once it becomes a reality.

* soop* it sounds as though you really had thought it all through, and it was one of those occasions where everything seems horrible and frightening in the middle of the night - when logic gives way to panic! Been there many times.
Just keep reminding yourself of all the positive aspects - it sounds a lovely situation, being near friends and neighbours is a big advantage, and I am sure MrSoop has designed you a lovely home

soop I have moved twice in the last seven years, down-sizing as far as my belongings etc were concerned each time. I've had to get rid of things I wouldn't have dreamt of getting rid of years ago given the option. However, as I had to be brutal, it was quite cathartic and to be honest, a lot of the "stuff" was stored away in various places and I've come to the conclusion that if you don't actually use things, you won't miss them once they're gone.

Obviously this doesn't apply to treasured items such as furniture, paintings etc that may have been passed down and have strong associations. That is althogether more difficult. But some of the items I really don't need or have room for now I live with my OH have gone to my children.

As we grow older we have to take stock of the practicalities of life and occasionally imagine the worst case scenario, we can't bury our heads in the sand. So, I understand all your worries, I would be fretting in the night as well. But, I think jane's advice is right on the button.

Sending and calm thoughts x

That`s a brilliant idea, Granny23!

Granny23 I just came back to have the same good idea re the piano.

soop having followed the story of your projected house via your posts over the last year and a half, I can confidently diagnose 'last minute nerves' and reiterate that 'you know it makes sense'. Meantime, I suggest that you need a SHED, either in the orchard or elswhere in the village where you can store stuff you might need during or after the building period. My other bright idea is would the village hall, school or even church hall like a piano? donated on condition that Mr S can access and play it whenever he wants? Just a thought!

number

Soop, my dear, I tend to agree with the estate agent, having been past your house, that view should certainly be a big factor and selling point, but like you, it would break my heart to leave it behind. All my love and best wishes for your amazing new venture...........or should I say ADventure?

Ella

Dear soop, I hope these sensible replies have helped you a little. In your position I think most of us would be having a taradiddle or even a tiridaddle!

In my experience, things don't really matter so much, it's people that matter the most.

We will all be here to keep you afloat and chivvy Mr soop along
for now xxxx

At the end of the week, we're to submit our plan to the local builder for an estimate. We'll then have a good idea of whether we're on the right track or not. We have also to cost all the services to the plot. Then we'll need to find a second hand caravan in which we'll live during the build. That aspect of the project doesn't worry us unduly. We've had lots of practice. The estate agent believes that the view will sell this house. But who can tell...

when There is room for a conservatory, but we'll not be able to afford one.

janeainsworth ...SWOT analysis -

Strengths:
If all goes well, we should free up some capital. We do not expect or need big holidays. We're very happy with weekends spent visiting family in England. Living within an easy walk to the village and shop and bus stop would be a big advantage. The plot is in a peaceful orchard owned by a best friends. We would overlook open pastureland, with a glimpse of the sea and the Paps of Jura...so not hemmed in. We get along well with all the villagers. In an hour of need, we'd have lots of support. The new home would be easier to maintain. Ditto what little garden we'd have [more like a terrace with potted plants].

Weaknesses:
If the present house takes far too long to sell, we cannot start the project. Any savings we have will also dwindle in the meantime. I'm sorry that Mr soop will need to part with his piano. It is his choice. We shall have to find a corner in the new home for a computer. I cannot give up Gransnet. We both paint. We shall certainly need to find a wee space for our hobby.

Opportunities:
To rid ourselves of far too much stuff such as artwork, books etc that would ultimately be left to the family in our will. The garden is becoming too demanding since I cannot knuckle down to it. If I should survive Mr soop, I would certainly need to move - so, the sooner, the better.

Threats:
If we do not consider making the move now, then it's unlikely that we'll get the chance of another suitable plot. There is nothing availble in or around the village.

Thank you for helping me to concentrate on the pros and cons. I was in a complete tirridaddle at four this morning.

No room for a conservatory with a spot for the piano soop?

Bless you for your kind thoughts. Yes, I do feel better for expressing my fears. You are so lovely. Thank you .

I've just sent a rambling emails to the three sons. Should we go ahead, and therefore need to let go of so much "stuff", would they consider hiring a large van, travelling from England to Scotland, and taking it away? Countless paintings, scores of books, beautiful family photo albums, are theirs to share. Maybe they could sell on some our better clothing to a decent outlet. Mr soop has asked the piano tuner whether or not he knows of someone who is wanting a small but beautiful piano. I feel awful that he has elected to part with it. It was his 60th birthday present. Every inch of space has to be used cleverly. There won't be a bath, only a shower in the wee house. The bed will also be smaller [and cosier] the washing machine and small freezer will live in a shed.

soop. I have a dear friend in your position. Her husband, a civil engineer, has drawn up plans to build a high tech retirement home on the south coast, and they will pay for it by releasing cash from the sale of their family home. She is in relatively poor health and at 65 is still working part time until they sell their house. They will rent somewhere nearby, live off their pensions, and hope they don't overspend so their new house is built quickly and efficiently. It's a big gamble, and a leap of faith in her husband staying fit enough to complete the project - he is nearly 70. The timescale is 3 years from selling the house to finding a plot, getting planning permission, renting a house, building the new house and being able to move in. She's quite anxious about it, but it's been his big dream to build his own house. If they wait any longer, it won't happen, but there are obvious risks, health-wise.

They've weighed up the pros and cons and, on balance, the adventure outweighs the risks, so she's put her trust in him being able to do it. However, he understands she won't be able to muck in.

Soop I think you have to do a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses,opportunities and threats) here.
It sounds cold and business-like, but writing things down may help you to see things more clearly, and see which of your worries are justified, and which aren't.
You and Mr Soop are obviously experienced in building etc, but a big worry for me would be costs escalating and not having the amount of money at the end of the procedure as you had envisaged, or even not being able to complete the job.
Strengths ? Presumably being nearer the village is easier and maybe safer.
You would be freeing up capital if all went well.
Weaknesses? What if your present house takes ages to sell? Would you miss your old home and the view? Have you got the energy for this project - making a new garden, decorating etc or the funds to pay someone to do it for you?
Can Mr Soop really bear to part with his piano?
Do you really want to get rid if half your stuff and clothes?
Opportunities? You might want to get rid of half your stuff
Free up capital if all goes well. Less worry about maintaining a smaller house and cheaper to run ? You might like the idea of being more closely involved with village life?
Threats? Would you feel hemmed in by a smaller house? Would it be difficult for family to visit you?
I think it also helps to think about the 'what if we didn't' scenario - what would be the financial consequences? Would Mr Soop feel frustrated that he hadn't been able to use his professional architectural skills once more? Would your present house be too much for you both in 5-10 years time?
I hope none of this sounds presumptuous Soop and only you have the answers - but these are the questions you need to ask yourselves.
Hope that helps

It will be a huge step but think how much easier life will be when it's all done.

I know it's different but when I escaped my ex I left with nothing and it was amazing how well I coped without things I'd thought were indispensible. It's true I had to replace some things but I tend to live in a minimalistic way now and it's so easy to keep clean and tidy (well tidier I'm not the tidiest person in the world lol).

Three and a half miles doesn't sound far but as you get older it may well seem to appear further. Being closer the to village will help you become part of the community should you wish to and brings you closer to amenities.

I'm glad putting it into words helped. Do it as often as you need. I find it helps to get the whirlpool out of your head when you're worried about something.

Oh dear - I would panic as well in your situation. Just so much to do. I think the practical stuff would probably work out ok but will you have room for the things that you enjoy, your painting and does Mr Soop play his piano now?
I'm not helping. OK then - does the house have to be quite as small as Mr Soop's plans or could it be a little bigger?

Oh Soop, how difficult for you. It does seem a very exciting idea and a small and cosy home near the village seems ideal in some ways, but I can see how hard it will be to part with things. We will have to leave our lovely, big home in the middle of nowhere eventually and I look forward to it and dread it in equal measure. No solutions, but warm thoughts and some

A big step, soop, but one that you can manage. The 'stuff' is just that. Before you know it, you'll be organising your remaining things around your smaller house and might just be giving the things you got rid of very little thought. The selling of these 'loved' items are merely a means to an end. It will provide more space and more money for a more comfortable and less worrying life and as you settle down into your new home, which has been designed to suit just you and mr soop, you'll still be able to look out at that glorious view - something that will never, ever change. xx

Oh, soop, bet you feel better voicing that don't you?

It will be a huge step but you are a coper, I am certain. Can anyone (family) store any of your treasures for you so that you at least still own them?

Above you have listed all the disadvantages, can you also list the advantages? Will it be better to live near the village as you get a teeny bit older? Save petrol going back and forth?

Someone much better equipped to make you feel better will be along in a minute, I'm sure.

Enjoy your new adventure!![cake]