Autism.

Yes things are pretty tough in some regions of Spain aren't they mamie

Most of the discussion in the press is about Asperger's and "bright but quirky", but that is only a small part of the spectrum. Severely autistic children often don't speak and are only capable of minimal communication. Head banging, pulling their own hair, screaming and sounds of distress are common. It is so hard for parents and families and I am not sure that they always get the support they need from society at large.

... friend's daughter (oh the shame)

mamie that's interesting (only just got back to this thread now) - the 'triad of impairment'. I don't know much about autism really, but am interested especially since my good friends daughter has had a child that seems to have 'something not quite right'. I read such a touching book some years ago on the subject of bringing up a difficult child, called Raising Blaze booksiloved.com/10/Raising_Blaze.html but because I had even less knowledge at that time, didn't really grasp the extent of the problem. Must reread it. The author was such a courageous young single mother.

My half Spanish grandson has been diagnosed in Spain. He has seen psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists and paediatricians and has had a brain scan. He has therapy from a local association which they pay for; there is very little state support and of course there is less and less money. I gather that the rate of diagnosis is increasing there, but it was probably a long way behind the UK. As I said before, it is the triad of impairment that is the biggest indicator; communication difficulties, social interaction problems and repetitive behaviour.

mamie interesting point about the emoting - how would that apply to say Italy, I wonder - where emoting has always been a national sport (I had an Italian stepmum growing up). My other reference is the gorgeous Inspector Montalbano of course! What are the diagnostic figures like for 'on the autism spectrum' in other European countries, anyone know?

I'd noticed this about some of the young men on Countdown - some of the winners too.

People with Asperger's Syndrome often need a strict routine and cannot cope with plans being changed. They can become obsessive and can be brutally honest and lacking in tact. My very clever grandson, who has an MSc, has never been diagnosed, but has all these traits.

I have noticed that many of the boys/young men who appear on Countdown appear to have poor communication skills, rarely smile and do not respond to banter from the quiz-master. ( Few girls apply, apparently.)

Not possible to diagnose a baby of three months. A hearing test at about 9 months will rule out deafness which would be one reason a baby does not react to parent's voice.My GD is afraid of bangs and unusual noises, she has a problem with hand dryers in the ladies, she runs and hides with her hands over ears. She climbs on my knee to hide if someone brings out the portable vacuum cleaner or if the washer starts spinning. She does not have autism because in every other respect she is perfectly normal.

I thank you all for your posts ! Very helpful

However , on reflection I have decided that is not really my affair .Hope that doesn"t sound harsh .

If DD wants to talk it over , fair enough , but I am going to keep my snout out . Think it for the best .

PS Yes I have seen rainmaker , excellent film

{smile]

I think perhaps, and I am not sure about this, that people today have become a lot more touchy-feeley and expect others to emote more readily. I think we will all have known people who were a bit obsessive and a bit socially awkward and maybe today's society is harder for them than when people were more reserved.
I do think though that it is important to realise that there are many people whose autism is far, far worse than that. I can remember children in a school I used to visit for pupils with severe autism whose behaviour could be very distressing for everyone. The staff were wonderful, but it was very hard work. Their families need a lot of support and as Jess said, it doesn't help if people think they will all end up as some kind of genius.

wercould shd be could!

Hi haven't read every post in this thread, but I work with someone whose nickname is 'Mr Aspergers' - (he knows it and laughs it off) - he can be a bit peculiar (extremely pedantic, very rigid, likes things to be set out in an orderly fashion literally and figuratively and can't cope with change) but we all love him and he is brilliant at his job. I wonder sometimes whether all the advances in identifying and diagnosing certain conditions come with drawbacks as well as advantages. And I'm often reminded of the saying (I think it's African) that "it takes a village to raise a child". I think the point I am trying to make is that long before we knew so much about all these various conditions, people were accepted simply for being themselves and offbeat behaviour was accommodated because people were part of society anyway (I hope I'm making sense). But I do accept that these people wercould equally be rejected for the same reason. It's about balance isn't it.

Although this particular baby is too young to diagnose, I just feel at the moment that there is a trend to 'categorise' children before they have a real chance to develop. Thanks goodness that everyone is different, and whilst we must be aware that being 'different' is sometimes a sign that something is wrong, we should give a child's character to develop before jumping to conclusions. I am aware that the earlier a diagnosis is made the sooner help can be given, but it is a pity that parents, etc., have this worry . A long while ago (back in the 1950's) my boss had a son who was different - he loved the brightest of clothes and the times the sunset and sunrise were an obsession with him, as were the local bus time tables and routes all of which he could quote at will. It was his head-master who told his parents that he thought Geoffrey had a 'problem'! However he went on to hold down a job and did it very well. Locally we have a young autistic man who is a wizz with computers - he builds them, but finds it difficult to communicate with people.
Life with an autistic child is never going to be easy is it, but some people are becoming more aware of the condition, and perhaps this will lead to a better understanding of the difficulties parents have. Our son (56)is not autistic, but not speaking he has always had trouble telling us what is wrong or upsetting him and when he was younger would throw a tantrem for what appeared to be absolutely no reason at all - and almost certainly in the middle of Sainsbury's!

Agree with you posts Mamie.

Yes quite - I see in places like a supermarket queue a child who is showing such behaviour and wonder how many people would recognise and understand.

My son was talking about this the other day, Jess. At their support group a parent was saying how lucky they must be to have such a special child. My son said to me "as if you wouldn't give your right arm for them not to have it"....
It can be very distressing for parents because the children look completely normal, but their behaviour can be so bizarre and distressing. It is very upsetting when people make comments about their behaviour in public.

Yes it is very unhelpful when people talk about gifted and special talents etc isn't it Mamie - press like it as it makes a great story. It must be awful for parents of autistic children when everyone assumes their child is going to a brilliant musician or mathematician.
We are all beginning to wonder a little about your DD's friend now nonu and want to know what is behind this bizarre story.
But we will probably have to content ourselves with not hearing it.

My grandson is on the autistic spectrum and I worked with autistic children for several years. Normally now called Autistic Spectrum Disorder or ASD, it includes Asperger's Syndrome and ranges hugely in the way it presents from the gifted people that have been mentioned, through to people who are completely non-verbal and are unable to work or communicate effectively. I think it is a bit unhelpful when everyone talks about the very gifted, because this represents only a small minority. It was always thought to occur mostly in boys, but it is now starting to be recognised in girls where it manifests differently.
There will usually be a triad of impairments relating to communication (verbal and or non-verbal), social interaction and repetitive behaviour. Many children will have hyper-sensitivity to noise and lights, as Jen describes.
Three months is far to early to make any diagnosis. It should be possible to recognise it between two and three, but diagnosis is often later and depends on the severity of the condition.
There is masses of help and support on line.

Thanks Nightowl.
Nonu, my grandson is going to be a train driver. He has just about every train simulator game that there is and his geography is fantastic. He knows more American placenames than anyone else in the family, and can show you where they are on a map, but only if they have a railway station that's on his train simulator!

Jendurham I understand that parents often know there is something 'different' about their baby and this can relate to any number of conditions, not just autism. I am not denying that for some parents this 'knowing' can signal the beginning of a long process to reach the right diagnosis and appropriate help. I think what I was trying to say (clumsily) is that while people are becoming much more aware of autism, which is good, the downside can be that some parents are actively looking for signs and worrying without any foundation.

I am so glad your grandson is now receiving the help he needs. Let's hope that all of the specialist knowledge and support will help this next generation to lead happier lives than earlier generations where the condition was not fully understood.

My son was also 'different' and was assessed for various conditions, but ultimately not given any firm diagnosis. I do understand how difficult it is to look for answers and to have to convince professionals that your child needs help. My heart goes out to all parents, and grandparents in this position.

Paddy Considine the actor/director has Asbergers. He was in his 30's when it was diagnosed. I only know that because he's a local hero. I agree with nightowl. It seems to be another thing that young parents look out for. I saw a film once about a woman who's son was autistic and she copied everything he did; it was based on a true story. Wasn't a lot of treatment done in Romania at one time; can't remember what it was called.

Stephen Wiltshire is the artist's name, Phoenix.
I have a copy of his drawing of London above my mantelpiece.
It's Savants, but they are few and far between.
I have four grandchildren, Nightowl, and the grandson is the third.
We knew he was different from his cousins early on, but did not know why.
When he was still not talking by the time he was 3, he was going to go to a speech therapist in York. But his parents moved to East Anglia and rented a house in a Surestart area. From his first meeting with a health visitor, he was given speech therapy and helped.
He went to a nursery where the teacher was trained in special needs, fortuitously, so she knew what she was looking for and how to help him.
His parents were asked if they wanted him statemented before he started school, and they were rather shocked at the idea. But we persuaded them that if he wasn't helped before he went to school, it would be years before he got help.
He has just had a review for going to the High School and he will get help there as well. They do not dole out help unnecessarily, and we know he is lucky. His 1 to 1 assistant actually helps him and another boy, but his parents do not object. They know the other boy needs help as well, and the additional input helps my grandson with social interaction, which is often a great problem for him.

I think the friend needs to be firmly discouraged from making any such self diagnosis, because as others have said it is not possible to diagnose autism at three months. I have felt, from talking to my daughter and her friends, that the fear of autism is becoming something of an obsession. My daughter was looking for signs in DGS from an early age and I'm not sure where that fear came from. She is a member of a forum (not mumsnet) where they regularly discuss their concern that their babies may be autistic. I am not talking about older children who are undergoing investigations but babies and toddlers. I'm sure we all had some worries about our babies but I do feel this is out of all proportion and is spoiling their enjoyment of their babies.

I also remember a very good documentary about a boy who did the most amazing drawings of rather complex buildings. However he (and also the character in Rainman were what is (I think) are referred to as Sauvants.