Found this on a website (when I'm supposed to be working!) and it tickled my laugh buds, because I identify with almost all of them:
The dying words of famous people…
Winston Churchill: “I’m bored with it all.”
Nero, Roman Emperor: “What an artist the world is losing in me…”
Dylan Thomas: “I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies. I believe that’s a record.”
Che Guevara: “Shoot, coward. You are only going to kill a man.”
Charles Darwin: “I am not in the least afraid to die.”
Eugene O’Neill: “I knew it. Born in a hotel room and, dammit, dying in a hotel room.”
Emily Dickinson: “I must go in. The fog is rising.”
Oscar Wilde: “Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.”
Queen Elizabeth I: “All my possessions for a moment in time.”
J. M. Barrie: “I can’t sleep.”
Pablo Picasso: “Drink to me.”
Thomas Edison: “It’s very beautiful over there.”
George Bernard Shaw: “Well, it’ll be a new experience anyway.”
Beethoven: “Friends – applaud. The comedy is over.”