The term 'old biddies'? Is it really that offensive?

What is the male equivalent of an old biddy? I have never heard it used for men. (except possibly above) That is always my starting point when thinking about whether language is sexist.
Have you noticed that men are NEVER described as "bubbly". I noticed this when a youngish female comedian was being introduced last night on Have I Got News for You.
And of course she had to work hard to hold her own and get air time with Hislop interrupting her on one side and the chairman doing the same on the other.
Janet SP on the other team adopted dirty tactics by telling a story about a macho man that only had a "button mushroom" in his pants. Which shut the men up a bit.

Granjura

In my opinion if you and obviously other kind people are giving up time to do such a good thing, then anyone who even thought to chastise you over such a pathetic thing deserves to be ignored.

Good grief, what do such people who find that terminology offensive do if and when they are truly upset over a big issue??

I do hope it hasn't made you think twice about doing the 'lunches', I am sure all your 'Old Biddies' know you well enough to know you would never doing anything to cause offensive.

Just look at some of the things even friends on G.N. call each other, it's called humour.

Thanks Pogs, kind words. No of course it wouldn't make us think twice about continuing with the lunches. You see we bought the old Vicarage here in the village, as the local Church is in desperate need of money. It had been the Vicarage since 1587 - so not surprising the locals were upset about losing this house. It has a second kitchen and a huge room at the back, with disabled access and disabled toilets- and Church volunteers had been organising monthly lunches for the 'elderly folk' for a very long time and didn't know where on earth they could continue. So we said, let's do it and keep it going - and it is just wonderful. My parents used to come before their demise.

The room is also used by the Parish for meeting, and the vicar for children activities, arts and crafts, etc. And we rent it for family gatherings, wakes, parties, etc, to cover the cost of heating, maintenance, etc. Wonderful.

Easy cure for that, jess (not having equivalent terms for men) – women need to start using the same terms for men. I don't see why a man couldn't be described as 'bubbly', for instance. Make it happen if it matters. JSP has the right attitude – bite back.

Hmm. Don't seem to be able to do certain kinds of dashes

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Can only do diddy ones.

Old bosoms - I like that! I know of 2 myself.

It would be viewed highly amusing if men were described as bubbly wouldnt it. I would assume that the speaker was saying indirectly that they were gay.
So what other bits of sexist terminology should/could women start applying to men...
slag
fat cow
bitch
slapper
old boiler
girlie...
The list is rather a long one isn't it.

is it realistic bags for women to reclaim these insults so that they might be applied to men with the same impact?

I was going to be PC and say I didn't mind old biddy but actually I don't like it. My dictionary says it is somewhat derogatory.

I prefer something a bit more feisty.

I don't mind being called old or a bitch or a bloody cow.

Don't like any of the ones referring to sexuality - slapper, bag, slag.

Quite like tart if said with a smile. I called my OH a tart the other day (don't ask)

Slag can be used for either sex these days.

And why is it that only women are 'fragrant'? Surely men can be, too?
Not all of them, of course...

Granjura I wouldn't like to be referred to as an old biddy except by my children in fun. Probably by the time I'm 92 I won't care.
But I don't regard it as in the least offensive.
And what right the people on your other forum have to criticise you for it, is quite beyond me.
Some people really are too far up their own bottoms
It sounds as though you are providing a wonderful service for the old folk - I expect that term is condescending and patronising too!

I expect you're right, jess. Who, after all, would wish to lower themselves to that level? But I've never had to deal with such rudeness anyway so what do I know?

Granjura won't say this for herself, so I will tell you that the only two people who criticised her had harboured animosity for some time ( one of them hates me too). Some of us know only too well how easy it is to get on the wrong side of some people on a forum. These remarks were just said out of personal spite. The said old people are French and would not, therefore be reading a site for expat Brits (don't know what that Swiss woman is doing on there!)
Granjura and her lovely OH are pillars of the community and are very much loved and respected by everyone.

I suggest 'old farts' for men!

Granjura - sticks and stones, etc! What's in a name? Who cares?

Granjura - what I meant by the above is don't worry about it. You're doing a great job as you are.

I can't say I get that worked up about it. Tone of voice and context are all important. My friend and I used to make daft old bat and wrinklies comments to each other and she is all of three months older than me.

Having something said to you that is clearly abusive is unacceptable but it is how you are actually treated that is important. As per Eliza Doolittle's Flowergirl and Duchess reference.

Thanks York - I lived in the UK for near on 40 years- and had my children there- so I know most nursery rhymes and such expressions - LOL.

Sticks and stones
will break my bones
but names will never hurt me. So true, water over a duck's back - thanks

Oh thank you greatnan yes old farts indeed.
I'm sure everyone in your village knows granjura that you are being kind and not meaning anything derogatory. But you have invited us to debate this term.
I think both agism and sexism in language are serious issues and that they do matter. If boys believe it is ok to talk in derogatory terms about girls - and there is a lot of it about these days - then that might affect their behaviour towards girls - and if girls are on the receiving end it might affect the way they see themselves, or the way they behave.
At the other end of the age spectrum the use of the term "old dear" for instance belittles older women and denies their power and intelligence. It "puts them in their place".
Just like when our own dear PM tried to shut up a member of the opposition front bench with the words "Calm down dear. Calm down dear." Would he have said that to a man? I don't think so. But he though it OK to try to silence a woman with such terms.
If we use terms like this about ourselves we are doing their work for them. Those that wish to keep us in our place, and deny our power and intelligence.

I think that nelliemoser summed it up when she said that tone of voice and context are all important.
It wouldn't really matter to me if I was called an old biddy as long as it's said with affection and not used as an insult

The point is that Granjura did not say those words to the old people concerned! She just used them on a forum that they would never read. Nobody was hurt, humiliated or discriminated against.

Thanks JessM - totally agree, if you ask a question on a Forum, you have to be opened to answers which you may not agree with. Actually, I do get where you are coming from totally, and agree. As said, I used the words tongue and cheek and in a humorous but respectful way - but i do understand what you mean, thanks.

Nobody would use the word 'nig**r' now and say 'oh but is was only a touch of humour'. Will be more careful in future.

A male friend of mine calls me La Belle Grandmama - I'll go with that.

I understood that some black people use the term nigger of themselves nowadays.

I've been trying to recall what I have been called. Gannet was one, by a clever clogs dental student. Since I knew how incorrect that was it was water off my back. He never got invited into my student circle again. DD says I'm a weirdo. That's a compliment.

I agree with your assessment too, jess, where such terms are used as abuse. But if anyone called me an old biddy, it wouldn't be abuse because I could laugh it off just as that female MP laughed off Cameron's patronising words. He was the one who came out of that exchange badly, not the woman. She didn't feel injured; she just dismissed him as a twit. Perhaps he, and a few others like him, learned something from the resistance of an intelligent woman.

It all boils down to self respect. If someone calls me stupid names or is patronising I can just ignore them and not care about their remarks. It is that attitude we need to instil in 'victims', and not encourage whinging.

Big debate amongst black Americans about the use of this word by black people in various contexts.
One of the best books about this subject that I read many years ago is Man Made Language by Dale Spender. She talks about how we all internalise sexism.
And black people internalise racism too.