The term 'old biddies'? Is it really that offensive?

Phrases like those I quoted many contributions ago are fine when on a personal basis, my DGC call me Grannima, or between consenting adults in private but most of the time they are used to dismiss and demean older women.

I heard some man on the radio describing something as being something 'you dont take your granny to'. How can he know what all woman with grandchildren would or would not enjoy and what about the older women who are not grandmothers, are they to be dismissed with this pejorative phrase? Many older women probably would enjoy an avant garde artistic event.

'Something for your granny' is a dismissive phrase for something meretricious and of no value that can easily be palmed off on any old biddie. See what I mean?

I understand Jess , it is true .

They call each other the N word , which I cannot bring myself to say , I find it ghastly.

Will never forget the first time in the States visiting an English friend , a black man was crossing the road and she said "get out of the way n--- .

Not an awful lot shocks me , but that did .

What does "we all internalise sexism" mean? Sounds like too much of a generalisation to me.

Big debate amongst black Americans about the use of this word by black people in various contexts.
One of the best books about this subject that I read many years ago is Man Made Language by Dale Spender. She talks about how we all internalise sexism.
And black people internalise racism too.

I understood that some black people use the term nigger of themselves nowadays.

I've been trying to recall what I have been called. Gannet was one, by a clever clogs dental student. Since I knew how incorrect that was it was water off my back. He never got invited into my student circle again. DD says I'm a weirdo. That's a compliment.

I agree with your assessment too, jess, where such terms are used as abuse. But if anyone called me an old biddy, it wouldn't be abuse because I could laugh it off just as that female MP laughed off Cameron's patronising words. He was the one who came out of that exchange badly, not the woman. She didn't feel injured; she just dismissed him as a twit. Perhaps he, and a few others like him, learned something from the resistance of an intelligent woman.

It all boils down to self respect. If someone calls me stupid names or is patronising I can just ignore them and not care about their remarks. It is that attitude we need to instil in 'victims', and not encourage whinging.

A male friend of mine calls me La Belle Grandmama - I'll go with that.

Thanks JessM - totally agree, if you ask a question on a Forum, you have to be opened to answers which you may not agree with. Actually, I do get where you are coming from totally, and agree. As said, I used the words tongue and cheek and in a humorous but respectful way - but i do understand what you mean, thanks.

Nobody would use the word 'nig**r' now and say 'oh but is was only a touch of humour'. Will be more careful in future.

The point is that Granjura did not say those words to the old people concerned! She just used them on a forum that they would never read. Nobody was hurt, humiliated or discriminated against.

I think that nelliemoser summed it up when she said that tone of voice and context are all important.
It wouldn't really matter to me if I was called an old biddy as long as it's said with affection and not used as an insult

Oh thank you greatnan yes old farts indeed.
I'm sure everyone in your village knows granjura that you are being kind and not meaning anything derogatory. But you have invited us to debate this term.
I think both agism and sexism in language are serious issues and that they do matter. If boys believe it is ok to talk in derogatory terms about girls - and there is a lot of it about these days - then that might affect their behaviour towards girls - and if girls are on the receiving end it might affect the way they see themselves, or the way they behave.
At the other end of the age spectrum the use of the term "old dear" for instance belittles older women and denies their power and intelligence. It "puts them in their place".
Just like when our own dear PM tried to shut up a member of the opposition front bench with the words "Calm down dear. Calm down dear." Would he have said that to a man? I don't think so. But he though it OK to try to silence a woman with such terms.
If we use terms like this about ourselves we are doing their work for them. Those that wish to keep us in our place, and deny our power and intelligence.

Thanks York - I lived in the UK for near on 40 years- and had my children there- so I know most nursery rhymes and such expressions - LOL.

Sticks and stones
will break my bones
but names will never hurt me. So true, water over a duck's back - thanks

I can't say I get that worked up about it. Tone of voice and context are all important. My friend and I used to make daft old bat and wrinklies comments to each other and she is all of three months older than me.

Having something said to you that is clearly abusive is unacceptable but it is how you are actually treated that is important. As per Eliza Doolittle's Flowergirl and Duchess reference.

Granjura - what I meant by the above is don't worry about it. You're doing a great job as you are.

Granjura - sticks and stones, etc! What's in a name? Who cares?

Granjura won't say this for herself, so I will tell you that the only two people who criticised her had harboured animosity for some time ( one of them hates me too). Some of us know only too well how easy it is to get on the wrong side of some people on a forum. These remarks were just said out of personal spite. The said old people are French and would not, therefore be reading a site for expat Brits (don't know what that Swiss woman is doing on there!)
Granjura and her lovely OH are pillars of the community and are very much loved and respected by everyone.

I suggest 'old farts' for men!

I expect you're right, jess. Who, after all, would wish to lower themselves to that level? But I've never had to deal with such rudeness anyway so what do I know?

Granjura I wouldn't like to be referred to as an old biddy except by my children in fun. Probably by the time I'm 92 I won't care.
But I don't regard it as in the least offensive.
And what right the people on your other forum have to criticise you for it, is quite beyond me.
Some people really are too far up their own bottoms
It sounds as though you are providing a wonderful service for the old folk - I expect that term is condescending and patronising too!

And why is it that only women are 'fragrant'? Surely men can be, too?
Not all of them, of course...

Slag can be used for either sex these days.

I was going to be PC and say I didn't mind old biddy but actually I don't like it. My dictionary says it is somewhat derogatory.

I prefer something a bit more feisty.

I don't mind being called old or a bitch or a bloody cow.

Don't like any of the ones referring to sexuality - slapper, bag, slag.

Quite like tart if said with a smile. I called my OH a tart the other day (don't ask)

It would be viewed highly amusing if men were described as bubbly wouldnt it. I would assume that the speaker was saying indirectly that they were gay.
So what other bits of sexist terminology should/could women start applying to men...
slag
fat cow
bitch
slapper
old boiler
girlie...
The list is rather a long one isn't it.

is it realistic bags for women to reclaim these insults so that they might be applied to men with the same impact?

Old bosoms - I like that! I know of 2 myself.

Can only do diddy ones.

Hmm. Don't seem to be able to do certain kinds of dashes

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Easy cure for that, jess (not having equivalent terms for men) – women need to start using the same terms for men. I don't see why a man couldn't be described as 'bubbly', for instance. Make it happen if it matters. JSP has the right attitude – bite back.