The child who needs radiotherapy

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It is so very, very sad all the way round .

I have every sympathy with the the awful situation this mother finds herself in. To find out almost overnight that your only child has such an immediately life-threatening illness must be overwhelming.

However I also consider that as the case moves on she is starting to put her feelings and her 'rights' ahead of her son's problems. She speaks as if she is the only parent the boy has, when in fact he has two loving and concerned parents, even if her estranged partner does not share her views on their son's treatment. She is also constantly asking for time to research alternatives when it is very clear that time is the one thing her son doesnt have.

She denies that there is little evidence that radiotherapy works, but it is unlikely that it would be offered if there was not evidence that it can help.

I noticed in the papers today that even her own family who have been supporting her are beginning to speak up to say that they believe that the child should have the conventional treatment and describing her as 'headstrong' which in a phrase DH uses means 'She has made up her mind, do not confuse her with facts'

I do hope that we get to hear how this little boy goes on in months to come. All too often the media latch on to something for obvious reasons then fail to provide a follow up story as it's not deemed newsworthy.

I read that the judge said that 'one cannot enjoy a good quality of life if one is not alive'. How true x

I do hope the next op and radiotherapy go ahead ok and work. For the lad of course - but also his dad and the surgeons. The surgeons especially are under tremendous pressure now. Any failure and the mother may well sue the pants off them all.

I agree with JessM that there are some complementary therapies and diets that can help with cancer treatment and perhaps minimise the effects of chemo - but as an addition to conventional treatment, not instead of. I'm always a bit worried when people start sacking their legal team; it always sounds as if they just don't want to listen to anyone who disagrees with them. I wonder what effect all the legal battles are having on the little boy?

The Mother obviously had her sons best intention at heart and hopefully she will not be proved right about the radiation... bottom line everyone concerned is trying to do best for poor little boy,it all just reminds me not to moan about silly things!!!

I see a judge has ruled that Neon be given treatment for his cancer and must live with his father. His mother intends to appeal.

I think that however much one sympathises with both parents in this very sad case, the judge's decision should be accepted and the mother would be ill-advised to carry on with her campaign. I do hope Neon gets through this.

I feel sorry for any parent who is faced with such a decision. I am sure she wants the best for her son but she does not have any alternatives to offer. Has she not undertaken any research or is there no alternatives. However I strongly disapprove of her alleged tie up to a national newspaper. No child's illness should be part of a money driven deal!

That is deeply shocking nelliemoser
Homeopathy has never been shown to be any better than placebo, so it might improve symptoms just because you took a white pill, but will never cure anything that is not going to cure itself.

I know of a mother who was a real believer in Homeopathy and was treating her 20yr + son that way for an abcess.
The infection spread when the abcess ruptured and he died of Septicaemia. Very very sad when antbiotics were readily available.

I would always take the most effective option and I can agree that alternative therapies are good for the soul and this might well help with discomfort etc.

That is awful hummingbird Same thing happened to my son except he had a very curable cancer. When it progressed he decided to accept medical help but had to have a huge amount of treatment when a small amount would almost certainly have sorted the problem out quickly.

The good news is that the judge has found in favour of the radiotherapy.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20807984

Your friend's experience was different from mine, Petallus. My friend was encouraged to believe that she could be cured - indeed, she was delayed in seeking conventional treatment in the beginning due to her belief in the alternative. I agree, if all else has failed, who could blame anyone from trying? But there even when it was clear that P was dying, she was still being told she would soon be better. I don't condemn, just feel sad, really.

Those are "complementary" therapies Petallus and that is fine as long as it is clear that they only serve to alleviate suffering and/or increase quality of life. By calling them "alternative" it implies that they are some kind of treatment. Which they are not.
There is another term for these complementary therapies which is "integrative medicine" - also, I think, misleading. Because they are not medicine. They are massages, counselling etc
So called "alternative treatments" for cancer include oxygen tents, coffee enemas, weird diets and other whacky activities that have no evidence base at all. But they do claim to be treatments.
But the trouble is that the lines get blurred, people get confused and the benefits of the complementary therapies are often over stated by those with a vested interest.

I too abhor snake oil peddlers.

But I'm not so quick to condemn all alternative therapies.

The clinic my friend went to when he had terminal cancer did not promise a cure. Rather it was to do with rest, good diet, massage, relaxation, the chance to talk with other sufferers about his feelings.

I wonder if there is value in the middle ground between medical intervention and quackery, working alongside the former.

Heart-breaking case, I can see where the misguided mother is coming from, I think, but it is too easy to Google alternative therapies,blogs etc and read of so-called wonder cures. You need to trust the professionals and if her son is being treated by one of the big London hospitals she has to believe in them and that they do know best. As JessM says, perhaps one day we will look back on chemo or radiotherapy as barbaric, a sledgehammer to crack a nut, but until that day we have to operate with the best medical knowledge and technology at our disposal. Even chemo is now much more finely targeted and likewise radiotherapy to minimise damage to surrounding tissue. But as I said, heart-breaking.

No quite, it is the snake oil peddlers that I judge.

Some years ago a friend with (as it turned out) terminal cancer went through a number of alternative therapies. Doing so helped to keep his spirits up and I suppose gave him (maybe spurious) hope.

I heard the poor mother of the boy we are discussing saying the doctors had got it wrong and her son wasn't as ill as they said. In denial I suppose.

But how sad and who could judge others in such a desperate situation for ways they find to cope?

Yes sometimes doctors keep on trying beyond the interests of the patient. There was an item on R4 Today yesterday though, about agism in cancer treatment - arguing that they should consider the health and resilience of the patient, not their chronological age. And their wishes of course.
Sometimes patients keep on trying as well, even when doctors have tried to be straight about terminal prognosis. A youngish man I knew was in complete denial, wife too, even when the doctor was completely straight with both of them. (Stupid doctors did not know what they were talking about - how dare they say such things!) To the extent that he did not make a will and struggled on working until about a week before he died. It was a way of coping I suppose but it had repercussions.
People react to these things in so many different ways but I despise those quacks who pray on vulnerable cancer patients and their families. Some of them make a huge amount of money out of this fraudulent nonsense. But I am obviously not going to risk being sued by naming names here!

I agree with what you say JessM about alternative cures for cancer.

If this mother is refusing orthodox treatment in favour of those, then of course it is right that she has been over-ruled.

It's true, though, is it not, that many people, especially as they become older, are apprehensive at the thought of being 'kept going' beyond a point that is humane, by doctors who will not agree to stop treatment?

I can understand the choice not to persist with treatments if someone is actually terminally ill. If there is good evidence of curability then what other choice is there but to take doctors evidence-based advice?
I don't think pain and suffering are the issues being argued, are they?
I don't think anyone is arguing that it is better to be dead than to be mentally impaired either.
I have seen the consequences of someone being convinced that so called "alternatives" can enable them to "beat cancer". The people who publish books and websites on this topic should be put on an island somewhere with no medical care, along with all their nonsensical publications. And left to live a "natural" life.