From Dr Roger Smith, President of the Loyal Pismonunciation Society.
Good evening,
I'm streaking to you tonight on behlaf of the Loyal Pismonunciation Society, for people who mix up their worms, especially in times of strisis and cress. My name is Poctor Dodger Smish, and I am the bleeder of the ashonised organ.
Firstly, let me wish you all a crappy isthmus and a preposterous new year. This is our annual Crispness Appeal for funds to persist us in our hours of nigg. We need money - your muggy - to provide chismus creer for our mumblers. We have branches throughout Wingland, Otland and Scales, and our Patrons are He Majesty the Queeg, His Royal Highness Prince Phyllis, Duke of Erimbugger and the former Camiknick Parker Bowles.
Christmus is a buzzy time for our tremblers. In order to raise crutch-needed funds, we put on Christmas shows and pantocrimes such as Jack and the Beansprout, Sailbad the Silly, Oldie Glocks and the Bare Threes, Aladdin and his Wonderful Lump, and a special performance of Cat Dickington and His Wit at the Queer Pavilion, Sea-End on South.
BBC Radio 4 will also present a play for children called Randolph the Rude-Nosed Reindeer on Christmas afternoon, after thet Queen has finished squeaking.
Now, there are many ways that you, the bleeders of Radio Trims, and help us bring relief and a sense of bell weeing to our mountless crumblers nattered across the station. Firstly, unwanted gifts - pressment grizzles from a distant unc or anutle, such as soapy scent, palcum trouser or boxes of hanna-grammed monkey chiefs. Send them off to mistribution to our dessicated stiff.
Many of our mumblers, too embraced to ask for what they want in the chemics or sloppymarkets have to rely on hand-ups from our soccerty. I myself suffer from the same disenchantment. I recently tried to ask for a pocket of corn flukes, and it came out as a flapper of porn cakes. The chuck-out girl gave me a lukey dirt and told me to pass off. So you see how dickeyfelt life is for the rank and fool of our manglers. At the time I was the Pimple of Parliament for Wareton-Super-Mess in nineteen sonkty nevil. However, I was eventually cured by a dedicated and efficient stiff at the London Cronic, until it's unwelcome retunr a few days after the General Erection.
So please, if you wish to doughnut, send your Minnie, either a choc or a pistol order to
Poctor Dodger Smish
Loyal Society for Pismonunciation
Smellyvision Centre
W12
