Lil's Bar 4

Too much in the Pedants Arms I see...

Last Orders!!!.......Lil has had a 'belly-full' of you all tonight and I've a dog to see to.

Just like Vic! (Shakes head in disbelief)

Errrhh, humphh, kerkermmmmph!
ooh me bleedin' nut! I jest gave it a bang tryin'to find someones lost cherry under the billyud table!
Where you all gorn -an' get that ruddy Toto orf me leg! Perishin'aminal already pissed on the uver one!! Got a soggy sock now!!!!

Lil's put a sign up behind the bar .............................
"If you lot dunt stop pickin on our Pete what werks beind the bar, yoo can sling yer 'ooks back ta pednts pub! Them as dunt like it...tuff! ...Yer'll be barred!"

You can come back now Pete, there's a couple of pints in for you from Lil..... watch out I think she's feeling a bit frisky!

Gramps....You have made Toto too excited (He's as bad as you for ankles!) anyway leave the sock on the bar to dry..it only smells as bad as some of the "spelling club" that seem to have snuck in.
Ella...Lil missed her chance last night...enough said...but I will sample the free ale on offer.

...Lil don't concern yourself, my dear, I'm a big boy (ahem) and can deal with any bunch of werkers...oops spellin again!!

gramps I think you need to put a bit of weight on................I thought that was the table leg! It was the teeth marks that fooled me

Right gramps you need building up matey! I'll treat you to Steak n Kidney Pudding, Chips, Peas n Gravy
That will put hairs on yer chest...(well, it did for Lil )

Lil just said she feels sorry for Maria in Corrie cos of her gay boyfriend....so do I, the poor girl won't know which way to turn.
Pint please Lil.....

Evening all, can't stay long, I'm on the landing ironing the curtains for the french windows, as you do.

(Tip of the week, when ironing very long curtains, avoid that thing where the bit you have just ironed gets crumpled as it comes to rest on the floor, place your ironing board parallel to the banisters, and let the just ironed bit go over them. Yes, if you live in a bungalow you're buggered, but that's not my fault.)

Anyway, hiding here because I've just had a right go at someone on another thread.

Phoenix not that poor little chap from the Waverley novels I trust?

phoenix, that was a very restrained 'right go'!
Good tip about the curtains though - must try it next time because it's so true about the ironed bit crumpling on the floor....

Be like me and follow pythagorous. Abstain from beans!

Pop in for a quick one anytime phoenix.....pull yourself together...another curtain tip...

Ana I've done it again! I was defending you, honest!

I feel someone ought to warn that, that, that person (nearly said a rude word there) that he is in danger of getting my dander up (there's an old fashioned phrase for you) and once my dander is up, there is no telling what I might do!

Wot you on about, phoenix?
I was being jocular about your 'right go' in a gentle way, because as far as Gransnet confrontations go, yours was very low on the 'nasty and personal' scale (of course - you don't do that sort of attack). Sorry for the misunderstanding - you are so right about that person - what a wally!

Git!

Ana I know you were, didn't for a moment think other wise! (See, there it is again, the perils of communication without voice or body language!)

Put a large one behind the bar for me, just off for a spot of wally baiting!

(So not like me, but I will defend fellow members to the hilt!)

Ana in case Pete gets the wrong idea about members and hilts, could you just keep a bit of an eye on him whilst I gird my loins for battle? (actually realised that I had put "Lions" there, could have been interesting, I've never girded a lion before!)

I can't spare any bits of my eye at the moment, phoenix, but I'm sure Galen can keep Pete in check!

Ooh my danders up on the other thread! I've gone all sort of imperious (in my dreams) and even the odd bit ov propur gramer! (sic, just in case!)

Was Galen someone else before?

PS Of course what I really want to post on that wallys' thread is "Come an' have a go if you fink you're hard enough"

But that wouldn't be very ladylike, would it?

If I did that ironing board on the landing thing, the weight of the curtain would probably pull the rest of it over the banisters - iron, ironing board, me and all.

I do put the duvet cover on by hanging the duvet over the landing banisters, and pushing one hand into each of the top corners of the cover from the outside until I can grab the two top corners of the duvet. Then I hold on very tight and shake the rest of the cover down over the duvet. It then gets hauled up and spread on the bed, and finally the bottom corners of the duvet tidied into the corners of the cover.

It worked better with two of us - one at each top corner - but needs must when the devil drives, and I have perfected doing it on my own now.

Phoenix I think the one with the shield and lance has teflon skin. Nothing diverts him from his mission.

I use that method with duvet covers Elegran - but on the bed. Might work better over the banisters though - will try it next time!