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A bit of a laugh

(67 Posts)
Nanado Sat 12-Jan-13 14:46:13

I keep being sent some humorous thoughts by an ex-colleague. Most of them are little gems and make me laugh so I'm sharing the latest one.

''Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtain for murderes, if you do find one, what's your plan? hmm

Anyone got any more? I can't complete with greatnan's jokes but I have a few more of these.

Nanado Wed 16-Jan-13 21:29:55

Love 'em all grin

tesco are now selling uniquorn burgers for vegetarians

Ana Wed 16-Jan-13 16:59:04

(going to have a bath works, as well! grin)

Movedalot Wed 16-Jan-13 16:29:02

I haven't been able to get my kids to pay attention to anything I've said all day. I'm going to sit here and pretend I'm on the phone, that should do it.

Ana Wed 16-Jan-13 15:31:52

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.

Riverwalk Wed 16-Jan-13 14:34:08

It's reported that those who ate horseburgers are in a stable condition.

Jodi Tue 15-Jan-13 13:45:32

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Jodi Tue 15-Jan-13 13:43:19

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to

Nanado Tue 15-Jan-13 13:25:44

I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going

Movedalot Tue 15-Jan-13 12:13:20

I've lost my mind and am pretty sure the kids took it.

Movedalot Tue 15-Jan-13 11:16:44

Good one Ana I know people just like that! Can also be used to show you are superior to others! grin

Ana Tue 15-Jan-13 10:55:12

It's not technically gossip if you start your sentence with "I'm really concerned about ..........." (fill in the name of the person you're gossiping about).

Movedalot Tue 15-Jan-13 10:26:52

I don't think we get smarter as we get older, we just run out of stupid things to do.

C'mon, let's keep this going.

Nanado Sat 12-Jan-13 22:45:20

grin see you all tomorrow my battery is going flat moon

Ana Sat 12-Jan-13 22:41:50

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

merlotgran Sat 12-Jan-13 18:52:27

I probably got it from my DS as well, Movedalot

Movedalot Sat 12-Jan-13 18:46:09

Merlot that is one my DS brought up just recently!

merlotgran Sat 12-Jan-13 18:37:26

If you are more than ten metres in front of me, please don't hold the door open because all you are doing is making me run

Greatnan Sat 12-Jan-13 18:28:58

So true, Movedalot!

Movedalot Sat 12-Jan-13 17:36:28

nonu smile

Nonu Sat 12-Jan-13 17:22:05

Never question you wife"s judgement

look who she married !

wink

london Sat 12-Jan-13 17:13:42

Just what a need ,a bit of a laugh smile

Nonu Sat 12-Jan-13 17:07:35

Stay on this page Nanedo these are different to jokes .

THE COCK DOES THE CROWING BUT LOOK WHO LAYS THE EGGS .

smile

Movedalot Sat 12-Jan-13 16:58:19

Never, under any circumstances, underestimate a woman's ability to find things out. It is always better to be honest, because whatever you did, she will find out sooner or later. Trust me!

Movedalot Sat 12-Jan-13 16:54:30

Live your life and forget your age

Nanado Sat 12-Jan-13 16:47:13

Shame!