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feeling bad

(26 Posts)
nanaej Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:32

I am feeling confused and unhappy that I may have caused another GNer to decide to drop out of GN.

Apparently she felt I had made an accusation of racism against her. I did not.

I queried something she wrote. When I got a further explanation of what was meant I understood the context and said so.

Was I wrong to make the query? Was she being too sensitive, was I?

I apologise if it was my query that caused her to leave.

gracesmum Fri 18-Jan-13 21:43:28

Don't beat yourself up about it nanej - I suspect the damage was done much earlier and I imagine there was more to it.

absent Fri 18-Jan-13 21:44:44

nanaej I know just how you feel. In the early days of Gransnet I described jingle as being besotted with David Walliams because she was hugely excited and exhilarated by his charity swim in the Thames. It was never intended as an insult but she took it that way and that was the first time she resigned her membership. This all happened during the evening when I had shut down my computer, so you can imagine the horror and embarrassment I felt the next morning. I was absolutely mortified.

I suspect that there were a number of posts on that thread that got under crimson's skin and upset her. I would think that the putative accusation of racism was adequately dealt with at the time. Crimson is by no means a stupid woman (understatement of the evening) but probably just wants an interlude of quiet reflection before she decides whether to return. That so many of us have made it clear that we should very much like her to might persuade her. Let's hope so.

jeni Fri 18-Jan-13 21:53:41

I agree totally with absent!
I know how you feel. I've had a very hurtful and untrue pm from a member which made me feel like resigning. But a couple of my very good friends (but I point out, NOT a clique!) persuaded me not to!

Incidentally can someone tell me. Why,When some, like,minded people often agree with each other , they should be accused of being a gang or clique?

Just asking?

Anne58 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:55:46

No idea jeni but sad to hear you have had hurtful PM's.

nanaej Fri 18-Jan-13 21:58:49

absentI hope she is just taking a bit of time out and will come back & thanks grace too for responding.

I do not want to be over sensitive or a drama queen about this but at this moment it does make me feel that I should only make innocuous comments and not seek clarification or present a different opinion. Not like me at all! Guess I will feel better in the morning.

janeainsworth Fri 18-Jan-13 22:02:25

nanaej I didn't read anything unpleasant in your posts on that thread, and you come across as someone who manages to say what you think without offending anyone.
moon

nanaej Fri 18-Jan-13 22:03:28

jeni oh dear, that is not nice! Glad you are still posting..smile

I agree that it is obvious that on many issues similar people will share opinions but that is not a gang. It is only bad when people start being personal and snipe at one another rather than addressing the issue on the thread!

nanaej Fri 18-Jan-13 22:04:47

Thank you janie for your comment.

jeni Fri 18-Jan-13 22:05:57

And I agree with janie

Grannylin Fri 18-Jan-13 22:20:38

grace has it in a nutshell nanaejflowers

annodomini Fri 18-Jan-13 22:38:53

In total agreement.

Granny23 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:39:05

nanaej I agree with all the other posters and would add that, due to some accusations and rancour on other threads entirely, Gransnet was not a pleasant place to be last evening. No one insulted me directly but I logged off, thinking 'Do I really want to be part of this?' I am, of course, back today and hoping that you will stay and that Crimson will return. flowers

jeni Fri 18-Jan-13 22:45:56

I'm to bed now. I'm finally feeling warm. It's freezing upstairs so I'll grab an extra duvet. Night allmoon

Anne58 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:48:11

Night jeni sleep well.

j07 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:52:45

Thanks for bringing that thread up absent. Just had a quick look at it again, bringing it all back. hmm The only time I have left off gransnetting actually sobbing in my kitchen.

WTF am I doing here? confused

j07 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:53:27

Yep! Gransnet can definitely be very hurtful.

j07 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:55:46

" hugely excited and exhilarated by his charity swim in the Thames"!

I admired what he was doing! hmm

Totally unnecessary to harp back to that!

jeni Fri 18-Jan-13 23:00:09

Rose[frown]

j07 Fri 18-Jan-13 23:06:17

Sorry jeni. Could you explain that? confused

jeni Fri 18-Jan-13 23:10:48

Thorns?

Sel Fri 18-Jan-13 23:31:08

nanaej I was a part of the thread you're referring to. I don't think crimson made her decision to leave after anything you said - I have realised now, looking back, how passionate she is about horse racing. I was trying to show another side, from an owners' point of view. Reading Crimson's posts I understand her point - it all got very mixed up with Liz Jones and Clare Balding for goodness sake. Almost surreal really. I very much hope Crimson will read this and come back.

j07 Sat 19-Jan-13 09:34:29

And stop calling me rose please jeni Joke's over. It's getting vaguely patronising.

absent Sat 19-Jan-13 09:50:32

j07 Don't you think you might be overdoing it a bit? It was a long time ago, it was a misunderstanding, I was deeply apologetic and you yourself resurrected the story on another occasion and even put up a link to the thread. Why the hell did you bother to look at it again if it originally caused such misery that you actually sobbed?

Kali Sat 19-Jan-13 10:04:08

That's a really kind and thoughtful post absent I expect JO feels so much better now.