Other forums.

Erm...Tegan I thought you'd put a link on here a little while ago for a forum (of mostly American women??) but when I came to look for it again, it's gone! or perhaps it never existed? Oh My! Has my imagination come to seeing links that don't exist Please tell me I've not lost me last marble and are reading things that never existed!

I've been away all afternoon hospital visiting, and have just logged on again.
I have nothing to add, only to thank Elegran for her eloquent post. You said it all, Elegran . Over the time I have been a member on Gransnet, I have received a tremendous amount of support. The terrible problem I was having to deal with well over a year ago was life-shattering - to me, anyway. Newer members won't have seen this due to the fact they are new.
We all have to start somewhere, and along the way we get to know some members better than others. When I asked how it was that it appeared that GN seemed to be 'cliquey', it was asked in a friendly way - I was hoping that was obvious. No-one has to justify what they feel or felt. I asked because if it was possible to make it not cliquey then we would surely strive to ensure that.
Sometimes, as has been said before, a post may come across as being confrontational or aggressive, when this was never meant to be. So I'm adding a or two, hoping that no-one has been offended.

Other forums also tend to look back with nostalgia at a time when that particular forum was better. Forums are just the sum total of the people who frequent them and it's up to us to make sure it's a good place to be. Given that it's a far more interesting place with far more interesting conversations with interesting people than I get in 'the real world' it can't be bad [mind you, I don't get out much].

Also , is it hard to get into ?

Cheers .

Tanith , what is the American Website ?

I belong to several other forums one I've been a member of for a long time its just a forum for older woman but we have members of varying ages and backgrounds. Its very small and most of the other members are in the US I've found it very interesting getting to know these ladies over the pond we are poles apart on many things but its been interesting to say the least we've certainly had our moments over the years mostly when new members have come along . I also belong to some Arthritis forums I had a look at Mumsnet but didn't join. Money Supermarket has some useful threads too.

The debate about newbies vs regulars rages on any forum I have ever been on, by the way. And it's a constant refrain on Mumsnet.

glassortwo - what with my Mumsnet, Facebook and Twitter habits, never mind my family who very unreasonably seem to want some of my time, I just don't have the time for another addiction!

Lovely . Thanks Kali and Smol.

Thank you Elegran A lovely story and so true.

I can't add anything to Elegran's excellent post - so I won't. Thanks Elegran.

There is no divide, Kali People are much the same wherever they are. Quote from The Jungle Book - "We be of one blood, you and I"

I'll tell again a story I heard about a house for sale in a village somewhere. The first couple to view it liked it, but went for a walk through the streets to see the rest of the village. They got talking to an old chap working in his front garden, and asked, "What are the people like here?"

He didn't answer directly but asked, "What are they like where you come from?" "Oh, they are a lot of selfish, stuck-up, lazy so-and-sos, if you suggest ways they could be doing things better, they just snarl at you. We'll be glad to move"

"Well," he said, "In that case you'll find them much the same here"

The next viewers did the same, met the same man, asked the same question. Same response, "What are they like where you live?" "Oh they are a lovely bunch, very helpful and so friendly. We all look out for each other. We'll be sorry to move."

"Well," he said, "In that case you will find them much the same here."

when

I am feeling happy. Thanks to you lot

Absolutely Kali - there isn't a divide unless people decide there should be one.

Can I cross the border/divide and say there is much in what elegran says?

elegran thank you.

I have been here from the beginning and yes I feel know some of you more than others, yes I have meet a few of you but I also enjoy seeing the new faces, but it does take a little time for a rapport to develop as in life friendship takes time to develop.
I moved in with my DD a while ago and didn't know anyone in the area but started at the Toddler groups with my DGD and at first it was hard and not because I was made to feel unwelcome but I was a stranger among people who had known each other sometimes for years, but gradually I made some good friends, but it does not happen in an instance.
On GN we all come from different backgrounds and have different opinions but that's all to the good of GN, and at the end of the day its ourselves who will loose out on the friendship, support, laughter and sister hood if we cant get over this repeated cry about Cliques.

Because hello we dont get to see you very often over here, but I can whole heartedly agree with you about Mumsnet I don't visit very often now, but I have been amazed many times of the support given to each other.

Well said, elegran. I have felt, and still feel, a whole gamut of emotions from pleased to displeased, from happy to sad, from shocked to delighted, and so on, ever since I joined gransnet. Just like real life. Can't do better than that I reckon.

It says a lot, I think, that most of the comments on this thread that are about gransnet are very positive

The variety on mumsnet is phenominal as well. I don't visit there often, but it has struck me as fairly well rounded, as you would expect with such a huge membership.

I agree Kali .

I feel the same, Kali, although I have been a member for nearly a year. Most Gransnet members come across as wonderful, wise and always willing to help others with a problem, but there have been times when I've been shocked and hurt by the odd hostile response to one of my posts.

It's not always easy to 'walk away' from a thread when your instinct is to try to discover the reason for the misinterpretation, misunderstanding or whatever, but it does seem to be the only answer.

Yes please, Butty

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, Elegran. Great post.

....and from a very personal perspective, I'd like to say that no only have I learnt a great deal from others on this forum, I've also learnt much about myself in my reactions and responses to this virtual way of being with others. When I joined quite some time ago, I found it a completely new way of communicating and one which I felt needed different skills and understanding to those I used when with someone on a face-to-face basis.

(I think I've put that badly, but hopefully you get the gist...)

.....and still hoping to get to meet some of you in person one day!

Kali me too. I am in exactly the same situation.

As a relative newcomer (August 12) it was difficult at first to know who was being 'chummy', who had phrased something badly and who was simply being rude. I think I have it sussed now. I have received some incredible support on GN the like of which I would not have believed. I have also experienced the opposite. I now know who to trust and who to be wary of.

I sincerely endorse all that has been said above,I in telling my story have received nothing but support,warmth,and friendship,I am accepted as an equal,I was a later joiner who has been here for just over a year and I jumped in with a hello I am new on the Mother's Day thread after lurking for a few weeks,it has taken time to establish a virtual friendship with people who have totally different lifestyles to me and may in real life I may not have had the opportunity to meet with them as we do here,as said before some as in real life establish a rapport with each other through be being like minded,I have never been treated with anything other than courtesy and warmth,there is room for all it just takes time like anything that is worth having xxxlove nellie