Old people's dignity

I was a volunteer home visitor for Age Concern, as it then was, for over 10 years. I thoroughly enjoyed the work and I liked those I worked with.

In 2008 funding for the scheme ended, no problem with that, these things happen. But instead of telling us clearly what was happening, giving us information of other volunteer work in the organisation and, more importantly, thanking us for the work we had done, they just let it peter out, contact just ceased with us not knowing exactly what was happening any attempt to contact them was never conclusive.

I have complained and await a response.

They have a useless contact system. The message is limited to 1,000 key strokes, fine but they dont tell you until you try to send the oversized email that there is a limit. They also give you no indication at what point in your email you exceeded 1,000 key strokes so the only way you can fiond out is by going to the beginning of the message and counting them. When you reduce your message to an acceptable size the the warning message stays and you still cant send the email. I had to cut the short message, go out of the contact page, go in again and post the new text and then send it.

It seems to me it is their web designers who have had the lobotomy.

I'm afraid that since Age Concern and Help the Aged merged, they have become a charibusiness, getting rid of local volunteers for example, consolidating and centralising and raising their profile and any other management speak term you like.

I was listening to Classic FM yesterday when an Age UK advert for older people about keeping warm in winter came on. The voice they used was of the unctious and patronising kind that addressed the listener as if anyone over the of age 60 had had a lobotomy and now had the IQ of a pea. I generated enough hot air listening to it to heat my home for a fortnight.

I am most emphatically going to complain to Age UK. That Age UK of all people should produce such a patronising offensive advert defies belief.

Go for it Merlot. I think you would have made good telly.

At least she noticed, Mishap. I arrived at my mum's flat today to find that she'd had her bowels open 'good and proper' in the bed! The carers were all of a dither because our local MP, Jim Paice was due to visit. All the local dignitaries were downstairs in the foyer, TV cameras, local paper etc. Boy! did I want to go down and ambush him in the car park! I couldn't leave the flat because I was due to have a meeting with mum's dementia specialist. She arrived as he was being shown around all the impressive facilities for independant living but I bet not a word was mentioned about what happens when you are no longer independant, very frail and vulnerable and the carers don't give a shit have the necessary training to deal with it.

We hatched a plan....I will write to Jim Paice explaining that while I would have liked to have met him, I had not been informed of his visit so was not fully prepared. I also had a more important meeting to attend as we were discussing my mother's end of life care. In the letter I will not pull any punches regarding the appalling treatment mum has received lately and the fact that, if her Independant Living care home suddenly decide they don't want to care for her any longer, they can actually give her notice to leave!!

As we left, Jim Paice was being taken in to lunch. Mum's doctor gave me a nudge and whispered 'Go For It'. I said (horrified), 'What. Now?' She laughed and said, 'Not now but make sure you write that letter.'

When I got home and told DH he sighed with relief that I will not be on telly tonight doing a 'Joanna Lumley'. In his words, 'I know what you're like!'

mishap care homes and nursing homes are regulated by the CQC, as I'm sure you know.
I would leave a comment on the website.
That is absolutely appalling - your poor Dad.

Same happened to my sister when I took her out in a wheelchair Barrow I got cross too.

Some years ago I was out with a friend who happened to be in a wheelchair, we went into a fabric shop as she wanted to make some curtains, the assistant addressed all her questions to me until I suggested she asked the person who was actually buying the fabric! Really made my blood boil but my friend just shrugged her shoulders as she was used to people seeing the chair and not the person.

That is apalling! I got annoyed when the pharmacist talked to me as if I were a young child (I wouldn't talk to a child like they were a child) and I told him I would not be coming back and why!

What can you do about it? Is there a board of some sort you can mention it to?

Disgraceful!
A young friend of mine worked in a care home before training to be a nurse. I gave her a reference for the job as I believed she would be an asset to the home. In the first few weeks she coped very well with the residents, but despaired at the attitude of one or two of the carers. She did effect change by the simple expedient of saying so whenever she thought the dignity of a resident was being compromised. She is now an excellent nurse and on visits home still visits the nursing home where the residents greet her with delight.
I think good practice in nursing/care often comes down to simple good manners and kindliness.

I find it appalling - my Dad is 92 but he is highly intelligent and totally with it. You wonder at the attitude of mind that finds this acceptable - and it is very worrying that the person in charge has these attitudes as this will rub off on everyone else.

The sooner we can get him out of there there better as far as I am concerned.

I think that sort of appalling comment stems from the mistaken idea that caring for the frail elderly is liking looking after a child. As one who looked after her mother in the last year's of her life, I can say categorically, it is nothing like it.

One of the reasons I dread the thought that one day I will have to go into a nursing home, hopefully I will remain able to look after myself until I shuffle off this mortal coil. The government can come up with as many rules as they like but in the end it is all down to the "carer".

Good grief!