Stay at home dad?

At the end of the day grannyactivist it was no ones business other than your own and it worked for you, he did not moan about anything he just did the best he could as did you and thats what it is all about, you both allowed eachother to be and did not make the mistake of caring too much what other people said so good for you I say and a good happy story it was to read.

I think that one of the things I most admired about my husband during the period I described earlier, is that he just got on with it; he certainly didn't expect undue praise for doing stuff that many women do as a matter of course. No-one oohed and aahed over my abilities as a parent/home-maker, so he didn't see why (rather a lot of) people thought it was such a big deal for him to do it.

yes granjura my cousin was a latch key kid and we all admire him so much as he is such a capable dependable person, unlike the rest of us.

Thanks Riverwalk, as it was not clear from your post.

Mey, my mum was also the main breadwinner- and a very independent woman before here time - and dad worked too. We had a much older brother to look after us when we were little - then au-Pairs when he went to uni - but were 'latch key' kids quite young - and thrived on it- having to take responsibility for ourselves.

Granjura I'm female

Hi Riverwalk My Mum was the bread winner in our house and that was quite un usual when I was growing up. She always was willing to work hard but my Dad never was so she decided that she would make herself responsible for bringing in the money because leaving it up to my Dad, we probably would have gone without.

Now having said that My Dad made a much better Mother than My Mum, he was caring and attentive and he had loads of patience were as my Mum had none of these qualities so as a family we benefitted from the role reversal and everyone was happy.

I think we should all do what suits and makes our families happy.

dorsetpennt - bravo to your son. How about him starting a local Forum for sahdads- to talk to, share, but also arrange to meet. I am absolutely sure he is not the only one in his town/county.

I think things are changing. MY DS & DiL each work 4 days a week and the GSs go to nursery the other 3 days. DS takes them to the nursery, picks them up, takes them home, feeds them and bathes them before their mum gets home. If one of them is ill he is the one who takes time off work.

Our friends in Holland do the same but the father spends his day off with a crowd of other men who do the same.

I saw a notice in our surgery about a fathers and grandfathers playgroup.

My husband was at university and I was in full time employment. For some of the time my work was on Merseyside and we lived in South Manchester, so my commute was horrendous and meant me leaving the house at 6 am, to return by 7 pm. For a five year period my husband juggled a part time job, with looking after the children AND completing his studies. He was a wonderful house-husband and full time carer to the children (including our two baby sons). I always remember being very moved when I returned home from work one day to find that he'd done French braids in my teenage daughter's hair. He had actually asked another mother to give him a lesson because our daughter wanted so much to have braided hair. That's just one of the reasons I think of him as the Wonderful Man.

I was quite amused recently being in the company of two young women whose partners are currently stay-at-home house husbands and hearing them grumble that the person at home has the easy life, whilst they as breadwinners are slogging away in paid employment, have to face the commute etc.

Made me smile inwardly because I thought to myself but would you be saying this if you were the one at home, or would you be saying what a long/hard/busy day it is looking after the house and family (plus of course doing what else they might be doing!) whilst the other half has the luck of getting away from it all when they step out the door ...

This is one discussion that will run for ever.

dorset how sad that your son is not included by the "other mums".

There is definatley a way that it can work imo,we even thought about doing this when DCs where younger as I have always been the higher wage earner in the family,it was years ago when childminding costs where not subsidised,DH has always been a hands on father and can run the home as good as any woman,he was going to earn income at home restoring furniture a hobby he has had since childhood and he is very good at.
In the end we decided we could manage without doing this but I know my DH would have been as good at the child/home care as I was.

just saw your comment granjura, he also tries to fit in some of his hobbies in with his daily routine. He is a commentator on a on line game and has submitted various on-line games etc of his own [don't ask me to explain, I don't quite understand it myself] however recently he has also received some money for all the 'hits' on Youtube - this has been a real morale booster for him

Yes there is - my son. When my son and his wife embarked upon parenthood they decided, as my DIL earned a lot more money, for him to be the stay at home Dad. I can't tell you how proud I am of him and what a wonderful father he is to his two little girls. Despite often being the only man, he has taken his children to playgroups, sat on his own whilst the Mums engaged in chat completely ignoring him. It is he that feeds the babies, puts washing in the washing machine, loads up the dishwasher, does all the shopping and all the cooking [wonderful cook]. In nicer weather he is found at the local playground, he takes them to the lovely parks in his area and sometimes into town to have lunch with their mother. He was delighted to find another stay-at-home dad when his eldest was about a year old and they try and meet up often. He has a nanny friend and a wonderful neighbour. BUT he does get lonely for grown up company at times. Most Mums meet other Mums at playgroups etc - go for coffee and/or playdates. There have been times when the only people who speak to him at playgroups are the play leaders. I went with him [which I do as I go up every other month to give him some respite] to a playgroup, a lady approached me to say what a dear little girl my GD was - my son said that that lady had never addressed a word to him.
He is not a writer or a journalist. He has reversed the roles - his two girls are a credit to him and his wonderful wife is the first to say that.

Yes absolutely - I know many. I also know many stay at home mums who do lots of interesting things, including writing, studying, running small internet businesses, private teaching, etc, etc. The premise that stay-at-home mums do nothing but, seems quite sexist, somehow. Are you fe/male?