If any of you have successfully given up worrying...

GrandmaH, I have a similar trick that I taught myself after having a couple of years of broken nights due to night worrying.
I have a glass of water by my bed - It has to be there!
If I wake I take a sip and then repeat a mantra of 'Nothing'.....'Nothing'....... Its taken a while and I had to work at it but now it works for me. I used to lay there with all sorts rattling around my head until I would have to get up and go down stairs. The loss of sleep soon makes everything ten times worse and a vicious circle develops.
It might be very simple but its now my magic trick.

I do not worry about everyday events but I spend a lot of time and energy on my relationship with my daughter. I always feel as if I have been a poor mother, I was very young , my daughter is 48 now with 2young children. I sometimes think I will never measure up this causes me lots of upset and concern. I never seem to come to terms with it.

I do meditate but I also have atrial fibrilation which can be brought on by stress. I am sorry to say I could with some good ideas myself. I know this doesn't help you but sharing does I think.

juneh, are you new to Gransnet? If you are, then I'm pleased to meet you. .
I was a very young mum as well, and on looking back on my life, I wish I could have done better. However, I did my best with what I had (which was very, very little).
It's all in the past now, though, and my eldest daughter is only a couple of years younger than yours. Many of us have similar starts to motherhood. I hope that talking to us here will help you.

Oops - sorry, juneh, I've just looked at your profile, and seen that you joined in 2011. (I hadn't seen any of your posts before. )

I just saw Louise Hay say to deal with stress by writing it a letter.

Dear stress
Let's break up. We are not compatible
Bye june

Thanks for your reply. How I do deal with it is to say to myself that the worry will pass soon.

And it does tend to do that, juneh! I remember reading somewhere that 'worry is a wasted emotion' - and so it is.

Like everyone else I used to worry about everything, money, kids etc and envied my husband who never seemed to worry about anything then he had a brain haemorrage and I found out all the things he'd been doing to ease my worries and make our lives run easier when I had to take them on myself, like insurance,MOT's car maintainance,DIY etc and I realised he was probably just as worried as me but he coped with it better than I did. He always said why worry about things you can't change just get on with tackling the things you can. I still worry but I write lots of lists of things I need to do or worry me and then cross out the ones I have no power to change then get on with whats left. Sometimes it works other times not but at least it's a start. I've also learnt to talk through my worries, don't they say a problem shared is a problem halved?

Oh Marelli you say in your post that you wish you could have done better. You did ( as we all do) your best in the circumstances. we can all look back and say " I could have done" or " I should have done" but at the time we had to do what we could with the hand of cards we had been dealt.

I have come to the conclusion that I am one of those people who will always worry. I am one of life's worriers.

Middle of the night herbal sleeping tablets calm me down a bit.

I used to worry a lot - about anything and everything, especially the children. Since I was widowed, I seem, apart from obvious worries, to have become calmer and more down to earth. I just say to myself, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things - what will be will be, so long as I do my best to sort out this problem and arrange for 'that' to be done, does it really matter? The children are all grown up and are 'big enough and ugly enough' to sort themselves out, so I remove myself directly from their problems, although always there to offer advice and help if required. I' m not saying it takes a tragedy like widowhood to make you calmer, but it certainly puts a lot of unnecessary worries and problems into perspective!

I bet it does, Gally! Thank you once more.

It certainly does Gally - along with other life altering events.

I think I was worrying in the womb but how the hell I was going to get out . Seriously, I was a very laid back youngster until life arrived and the worry began. The death of two parents in my early 20's, a divorce and bringing up two young children on very reduced finances all turned me into a worrier. Mainly worry about money, but then worrying about me bringing up the children on my own and was I doing it right. My children grew up and I have two GC and now I can worry about them.
Trying hard not to and I find my garden and getting out into our lovely countryside and the glorious New Forest, not to mention the seaside, all helps.

If you have a problem and its solvable then why worry just solve it; if you have a problem that has no solution then why worry just accept it. Here’s a little mantra to remind you what’s important “yesterday is history, tomorrows a mystery but today is a gift that’s why we call it the present”. Just remember life’s 5 illusions. Understanding, control, need, expectation and time.

Do you find it's really as simple as that, dimreepr ?

Do you know I think dimreepr has a point.

What dimreepr says makes sense, harrigran, and worrying doesn't make sense - it's just that some of us can't help doing it!

Nice to see you back Gally

We have very limited control on the world around us, even with our nearest and dearest, the best we can hope for is that those around us choose to co-operate. The future is unknowable and so what we worry about is also unknowable, so why waste energy on something that may never happen? So yes I think it’s that simple, but you do have to constantly remind yourself; hence the mantra, the choice of which is yours.

Oh no - not the house saga *again, Frank?

My husband says something along the lines of what dimreepr is saying, he says what is the use of worrying about something you can't do anything about? Of course he is right but I get frustrated with him when he cannot tell me how he switches his worries off.
Just say it's no use worrying he laments, oh right then just like that.
Not so easy, however recently I have started meditation again after quite a number of years and say a mantra as I lay my head on the pillow, it can be anything but it's a buddist one Om mani pad ma hum.
I would love to know what it means but it does work
Also I picture a white cloud before my eyes and aim for it until I am on it. It certainly takes my mind off the thing I started worrying about, but not completely it's a struggle but have to keep on doing it.

I think it means something like the flower in the lotus. Maniac might know!

I have a constant struggle with anxiety, and last year was particularly hard as my brother was very ill, and I could not be with him. I know this won't be useful for lots of people, but it does work for me. I found an old prayer in a book which I learnt by heart and used it to help me sleep, no idea of its origin. ' Ere thou sleepest, gently lay All thy troubled thoughts away.Put off worry and distress As thou puttest off thy dress. Drop thy burdens and thy care In the quiet arms of prayer. Lord Thou knowest how I live. All I've done amiss, forgive. All the good I've tried to do, Hallow, bless and carry through. All I love Lord, safely keep, That I in Thee may fall asleep.' It blocked out panic for me during the night.
The other thing which helps me is crocheting granny squares,one of my daughters sent me some bright DK wool, and I could concentrate on doing small projects, till there were enough for blankets.