If any of you have successfully given up worrying...

This sounds really mad but when all of those worries are whizzing around in my head I make a bubble chart. I get a piece of A4 paper and randomly put down the worries anywhere on the paper. Under each worry I list the effect it's having, my biggest fear about it, what I can do about it and anything else that seems relevant. Then I draw a line around each problem. Then I put it aside. This has an immediate calming effect because my thoughts are no longer jumbled. It's also amazing to realize how many of the worries are linked, which isn't always obvious when they are in your head. I am always surprised at how few worries there actually are when they are written down. They seem endless in my head.

When I look at it again, which could be minutes, hours or days later there's the option of acting on anything to improve things, changing how I react to something or simply finding out that the situation has resolved itself and why was I worrying anyway?

I think this must have developed from the years of managing staff in a busy office whilst juggling home, husband, children, elderly parents, illness, death, divorce, debts, house moves etc. It works for me but I'm very aware that it may not help everyone.

Oh dear...and now I've just read on the Chinese year of your birth thread on Gransnet that I'm a Dragon! Speaks for itself!

I am a dragon too nonnanna. However, Chinese dragons are not the fire-breathing monsters of Western folklore. In fact, it's the most auspicious of all the signs of the Chinese zodiac. Read this

However, I am also a Scorpio and that's another story!

Monkey

Dog, but I am not honest

Sorry everyone I seem to have taken this forum off on a tangent. Back to worrying....

annodomini - I too am a Scorpio! Thanks for the link - interesting! We are dragons with a sting in our tails. How marvellous. Off now for

I am afraid I have not read all the previous replies, but the way I find to stop the ever whirling worry thoughts, in the small hours of the night, is to pick an item, for example - flowers,biscuits, films etc. and name them alphabetically i.e. aster, bluebell, carnation. As there is always a tricky one it really does take your mind from worry, and I usually drift of to sleep before I reach Z. When I hit a letter I cant find a name to I resolve to research it the next day, I invariably forget, but, what the hey... I got to sleep!

Listen to today in parliament. It always sends me to sleep

Grossi asks "... What do you think about instead?"
Hmmm ... I've never really thought about that

But actually that is the answer! You don't have to be 'thinking' all the time!

When I wake up, I become aware of what sort of day it is outside.
Once I'm up I'll do some yoga before anything else. I enjoy the feeling of my body stretching out, and the peacefullness of the moves. No 'thinking' has been involved so far. As far as is possible, I focus on what I am doing right here, right now.
I've realised in recent times that I naturally live "mindfully" and have done so since way before it became a buzz-word.
For example, I really do notice everything around me, so whether I'm walking, driving or travelling on a bus or train, I will be appreciating the colour of the sky; the tiny buds on the trees in Spring or the varying shades of Autumn leaves. I'll see the squirrel that darts across the road or the urban fox sunning itself in a garden. I'll appreciate the wind in my hair or the rain on my skin. There is no space for worrying

I actually find it very difficult to worry about anything these days! I very much feel that "Let it be" is all I need to feel. Life experience has taught me that things always work out. Maybe not in the way you thought you wanted, but they work out, and if necessary you take a turn and travel down a different path.
I have lived through times when I did not know how I was going to survive, and yes, back then I worried what would happen.
In those situations, I sat down and wrote out the worst case scenario, and speculated about how I would cope with those circumstances. The answer is that there is always a way, and once you realise that, and realise that you could actually survive - albeit in a less than ideal environment - the fear goes away. Maybe it is being reduced to the bare minimum for survival that makes you appreciate what is really important, makes you realise how little you really need, and makes you appreciative of what you have.
I found hitting rock-bottom strangely comforting. I realised I could cope and could still enjoy life, and maybe THAT is what made me a bone fide non-worrier

Another important thing to realise is that there is no point in worrying about other people or their problems, because you cannot live their lives. You cannot fix their problems. It is negative and damaging to worry on behalf of others.
I try pointing out to those I know who are worriers that no-one but you has control over your thoughts! They are your thoughts. You have complete control over them! You choose to worry, so why not choose to think positively instead? Every time you find yourself worrying, make yourself turn the 'worry' around - find a positive opposite, or at very least a less-negative 'worry'. It might take practise, and writing your thoughts down will often help.

A good technique (I found) if your worrying is at a point that it makes you feel miserable or depressed, is to 'think a slightly less negative thought' - just one a day - but do it every day. Again, write it down. You might feel "this is hopeless, there's no way out, I feel helpless" A slightly less-bad place to be would be feeling angry (strange as it sounds) because saying "Why the @*! has this happened, it's so unfair" will in turn spur you on to action. If you can then think on the next day "OK, it happened, there's nothing I can do to change it" then perhaps the day after you can think "I can't change what happened, but I can make the most of what lies ahead, whatever it is"
Within a matter of days you can work yourself to a genuinely positive take on whatever the problem was! I found that over time this became automatic, and as I've already said, I find it very difficult to worry any more!

Finally, back to the 'mindfullness' It is the buzz-word these days because it does work for many people. If you are focussing on what you are doing right now, and being fully aware of the world around you, you simply do not have the space in your mind to worry

I didn't intend this to be a lecture but I do feel very strongly about the physical damage that constant worry and stress causes the body, and it doesn't have to be that way. It really is all in the mind! So ... don't worry - be happy

NannaAnna like your post.

Sonsybesom, thank you so much for the lovely prayer. I have a copy by my bed, I've given one to my friend who suffers from SAD and my daughter who helps to run a Healing Room ''up North'' has also taken a copy. It's like a stone dropped into a pool.

thanks from me too Sonsybesom I have copies and printed it out is very comforting!!

Nonanna and Shelpit have the answer although they may not agree with this anaysis they both have found the art of Self-hypnosis and not know it...it really does work.

Thanks NannaAnna for taking the trouble to answer my original question. What you say makes a lot of sense and I am really going to try to put it into practice.

I think you win the and the !