Convincing a lady it is not the end of life having to retire in her late 50's

He is good at winding us up, though, isn't he.......

I think Frank will act just as he himself thinks fit, so no amount of opinions from us will change him.

ella - or the more attention one gets.

How does a lady who …is a little upset [my italics] equate with convincing a lady it is not the end of life?

Has she asked for your advice, Frank? And do you have to do anything? If she was in a responsible job with suitable money and pension, and owns a nice house in a pleasant part of London, I would imagine she is up to making her own decisions. You don't need to do anything except commiserate with her.

I echo Baubles and Gracesmum - she can't be forced to retire at her age, perhaps she has been made redundant. Not pleasant for her, but at least if she wants to continue to work she has some money to tide her over while she finds another job. There are many others in the same boat.

I think HunterF has realised that the more threads he starts, the more he can wind us all up!

Has she asked for your advice? Or are you just being a bossy boots?

You started this thread with a question HunterF and some of us have tried to answer it. Along the way we have asked YOU some more questions - are you ever going to address them?

Admittedly, I am married not single, but like the lady in question I was out of a job, with an immediate pension in my mid-50s. DH and I immediately bought a dilapidated large old house with a dilapidated garden and started the, then, biggest renovation project of our life, we have gone one better since, but that is another story. I went back to university for a year to study a subject that I enjoyed. I tried to get back to work, without success so worked as a volunteer at professional level for 10 years.

As I have said in another thread there is no automatic link between age and infirmity. Given the opportunity for early retirement the world is your oyster, you do not have to settle down into some antiquated concept that once work stops all that remains is loosening your stays, buying some slippers and waiting for death

Most of my close personal email friends are single and retired. One of them, now in her 70s has a very expensive 3 storey house in good area of London, and a second home in Herefordshire and commutes quite happily between them, without any problem. She also continues to do freelance work in her very well paid profession. Currently she is in the far east on holiday.

When you see your friend, Hunter, button your lip, do not say anything to her about what you think she should do, I would throttle anyone who suggested I live in a bungalow. I HATE them. Instead listen to her. An event like hers, I know, is a shock and takes some getting used to. Let her enjoy the experience of being away when all are at work. Find interesting things to do and interesting things to talk about and leave the rest to her.

Frank You come across as rather interferring. It may be best to back off and let her make her own decisions. I would certainly not appreciate someone interferring in my life like that. Not even my own daughters. In her 50s is hardly old. I'm 67 and still commuting into London and working full time. I would be most insulted if someone suggested that I retired to bungalow and grow old!!

Yet again the "little woman" syndrome from HF,how do we manage to run our lives without the input of the male of the species,at just under 60yrs old this lady has loads to offer the work place if she so wishes and good for her if she does,why do all we hear about is the value of houses etc and where they are situated if this lady has been happy there so be it.
No man in my life would advise me to do anything I did not want to do you can be sure and I certainly hope this lady can decide herself which way to go,I have retired twice from the age of 50 and enjoyed my choices and now run a small business which is very profitable I might add without the help or advice of my DH and he is pleased I am doing well, or maybe I should sit at home and knit (nothing wrong with knitting).
As to what you can do when your visitor arrives for entertainment you could take her to your local keep fit centre for "bums & tums" class.problem sorted.

She has already had one major life change forced upon her, I doubt very much that she will want to contemplate another.

Frank I believe you mean well. However, sometimes, being a good listener is considered more supportive than being subjected to a good talking to

I'm not going to answer you Frank. Several members have told you that they find it offensive to be referred to as "ladies". Others are not keen on being called a "woman". But putting "lady" in the thread title is guaranteed to pee people off.
With a small bit of thought it is possible to avoid using either woman or lady
e.g. What is wrong with "a friend" or "a female friend"
Earlier today in a DIY someone referred to me as "this woman" she could have easily said "this customer" .
Manners require a bit of thought.
Not really in the "poor old chap let's humour him" camp here - at 63 does not qualify for being patronised or made allowance for.

Part of me agrees with you glass ......but Frank has not struck me as devious up till now - obfuscating, yes but not this cunning
So, are you for real, Frank?

Do you, glass? I'm not so sure...

I think frank is using that big wooden spoon again to get us all going .

Don't hold back, movedalot - tell it like it is!

Frank I'm incensed! You are only 63 but sound about 90!

Why should you advise her at all? Why don't you listen to her and answer any questions but don't volunteer what you think she should do. You clearly don't know her very well or you would know if she has ever been married. She is an independant woman and doesn't need you bossing her around.

She will have so many options and IMO should take her time deciding what to do. She is nowhere near too old to get another job or start her own business if that is what she wants to do. Or she could travel and do things she has never before had time to do.

Why on earth would someone of her age need a bungalow? We moved in our retirement to a house with 2 stories at the front and 3 at the back so a lot of stairs and we have quite a lot of garden to deal with too. If it ever gets too much for us we will get a bungalow but that may be a very long time away.

I suggest that you tell her about Gransnet and then she can join and ask if any of us have experience of her situation. This would be much better than asking some man who clearly has some peculiar ideas about women!

You really are a long way behind the times.

Well said Tegan or you might as well turn your face to the wall

It's funny having this thread at the same time as the Virginia Ironside book/blog. Now there's a woman who (in the book) is turning 65, living in London and enjoying every moment to the full (no plot spoilers, but nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean)
No bungalows in the burbs for her!

I think that, if she's feeling fed up about being made to retire, someone advising her to move into a suitable home for someone less mobile would probably finish her off . Anyway, if she stays where she is it gives you somewhere to stay in London .

Good point - there is a fine line between wanting to help and be supportive and taking over a person's life. That way lies madness or tears at any rate.

Frank do not turn into a control freak. Nobody likes them.

Frank - this is sounding positivley antediluvian.
1) YOU may not like driving in that area (where is it BTW?) that doesn't necessarily apply to anyone else
2)there is such a thing as internet shopping for the heavy stuff - even for younger people!!
3) there are taxis for evenings - and frankly, areas of the south coast are no less safe
4) Are you in a position to force her to do anything?
5) 20 years' time is a long way away
6) There is a very adequate bus service you know
7) Your friend is not an old woman - so why do you talk about her as if she were in her dotage?

But you haven't explained why you feel it's your job to sort out her life, Frank. Has she no family? How much do you actually know about her?