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The way things can be taken PLEASE READ THIS!

(131 Posts)
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Granny23 Sat 02-Feb-13 22:13:50

PS: There is no I in this ramble because I am keeping out of it.

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Granny23 Sat 02-Feb-13 22:12:36

I think the scenario is often like this:

A: posts something
B: posts something
C: posts saying that is a terrible/insulting/patronising thing to say
D,E,& F: post saying how dare you (C) criticise A's post
G,H,& J: post saying how dare you (C) criticise B's post
C: posts saying 'I am entitled to my opinion'
K,L,& M: post saying A was quite right to say what she did
N,O,& P: post saying B was quite right to say what she did
Q,R,& S: post in support of C
T,U,& V: post, telling D,E,F,K,L,M they are supporting the wrong person
W,X,&Y: post, angry at G,H,J,N,O,P for supporting B
Z: posts advising everyone to calm down, leave the thread, etc.
C: posts accusing Z of trying to shut down the thread, bar free speech, etc.

Meanwhile: OP sigh's and vows to keep her worries to herself in future
A & B, totally oblivious are busy planning to meet up on another thread.

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nanapug Sat 02-Feb-13 21:49:03

It is not people disagreeing with opinions, even quite forcibly, that makes me want to give up, as we all have opinions, as long as they are voiced in a reasonable way. It is more the way so many good threads are turned in to jokes with inane banter between a few patronising but eloquent people which seems to me to demean the people enjoying the thread. To me it demonstrates a sense of humour that I am afraid I don't "get", and I personally find it immature and annoying, but I have had my rant already today so will shut up. Interestingly though I have had a few PM's from others supporting what I said for which I was grateful.

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Anne58 Sat 02-Feb-13 21:44:42

Thanks when !
I do think that offence is often in the ear/eye/spleen/big toe (delete where not applicable) of the reader/recipient/casual passer-buy/earwig, but there is nothing that can be done about it.

When I re-read some posts that I have written, I can often see that they could be read in a completely different way to that which I meant.

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whenim64 Sat 02-Feb-13 21:16:18

Leave your coat where it is phoenix! i agree with you. It doesn't take much effort to remain friendly and not leap to conclusions that offence is intended.

I'm sure so many of these spats would fizzle out if others didn't want their two penn'orth. smile

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Anne58 Sat 02-Feb-13 20:59:38

Hello all,
I know that this has come up before, and I think that we can all appreciate that this form of communication has no face or voice, therefore it can sometimes be difficult to get the "feel" of what someone is trying to say or the tone in which it is meant.

Yes, we have emoticons that we can use, but even then the way a post is presented and received can still be open to interpretation. I have seen new members saying that they have decided to leave after "seeing" the way that some threads evolve, and they have been advised to stick around, maybe lurk for a while, before actually leaving.

Please can I ask all of you to do a little experiment? Try saying these words "It's quite nice". A very simple 3 word phrase.

Perhaps imagine someone showing you something, a knitting pattern, a photo, a fabric sample. Maybe a better example would be that you have gone with a friend to help her to choose an outfit for an occasion.

She picks up something that you feel a bit doubtful about, goes to try it on and comes out. It looks better than you thought it would "It's quite nice!"

She chooses something to try that isn't quite the thing, but you don't want to be too hard "It's quite nice"

Same three words, totally different inflection.

Perhaps I'm stating the bleedin' obvious, as the saying goes!

I'll get my coat!

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